Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on refining, And thought of convincing, while they thought of dining: Though equal to all things, for all things unfit, Here lies honest William, whose heart was a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that was in't; The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along, His conduct still right, with his argument wrong; Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove home: Would you ask for his merits? alas! he had none; What was good was spontaneous, his faults were his own. Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must sigh at ; Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet! * Vide page 89. + Mr Richard Burke; vide page 89. This gentleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs at different times, the doctor has rallied him on these accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people. Here Cumberland lies, having acted his parts, The Terence of England, the mender of hearts; A flattering painter, who made it his care To draw men as they ought to be, not as they are. His fools have their follies so lost in a crowd Here Douglas retires from his toils to relax, The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks: Come all ye quack bards, and ye quacking divines, Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant reclines: When satire and censure encircled his throne, + Macpherson write bombast, and call it a style, Our Townshend make speeches, and I shall compile; The Rev. Dr Dodd. † Dr Kenrick, who read lectures at the Devil Tavern, under the title of "The School of Shakspeare." James Macpherson, Esq. who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity. New Lauders and Bowers the Tweed shall cross over, No countryman living their tricks to discover; And Scotchman meet Scotchman, and cheat in the dark. Here lies David Garrick, describe me who can, An abridgment of all that was pleasant in man; As an actor, confest without rival to shine; As a wit, if not first, in the very first line: Yet, with talents like these, and an excellent heart, The man had his failings, a dupe to his art. Like an ill-judging beauty, his colours he spread, And beplaster'd with rouge his own natural red. On the stage he was natural, simple, affecting; 'Twas only that when he was off, he was acting. With no reason on earth to go out of his way, He turn'd and he varied full ten times a-day: Though secure of our hearts, yet confoundedly sick If they were not his own by finessing and trick: He cast off his friends, as a huntsman his pack, For he knew when he pleas'd he could whistle them back. Of praise a mere glutton, he swallow'd what came, * Mr Hugh Kelly, author of False Delicacy, Word to the Wise, Clementina, School for Wives, &c. &c. + Mr. William Woodfall, printer of the Morning Chronicle. How did Grub-street re-echo the shouts that you rais'd, While he was be-Roscius'd, and you were be-prais'd! To act as an angel and mix with the skies: And Beaumonts and Bens be his Kellys above.‡ The following poems by Mr Garrick, may in some measure account for the severity exercised by Dr Goldsmith in respect to that gentleman. JUPITER AND MERCURY, A FABLE. Here Hermes, says Jove, who with nectar was mellow, A great love of truth, yet a mind turn'd to fictions; Set fire to the head, and set fire to the tail; ON DR GOLDSMITH'S CHARACTERISTICAL COOKERY. A JEU D'ESPRIT. Are these the choice dishes the Doctor has sent us? Here Hickey reclines, a most blunt pleasant crea ture, And slander itself must allow him good-nature; Here Reynolds is laid, and to tell you my mind, His pencil our faces, his manners our heart: When they talk'd of their Raphaels, Corregios, and stuff, He shifted his* trumpet, and only took snuff. * Sir Joshua Reynolds was so remarkably deaf, as to be under the necessity of using an ear-trumpet in company. 47 |