at the top. It was credit founded on credit, great advantage of which is, that it enables peopaper on paper, and promise on promise. It ple to run in debt indefinitely, and property to might, consequently, be extended to an infinite represent fifty times as much paper as it is series, or at least so long as human credulity, worth. that great beast of burden, could be brought to stagger under the blessing. We had some difficulty in finding a cashier to make oath that our capital was thus "paid in, or secured to be paid ;" hut, at length, were lucky enough to catch a man exactly suited to our purposes; one just emerged from the errors of the dark ages, and who recognised the distinction between the letter and spirit of an oath. He saw clearly that "secured to be paid," was an indefinite phrase, and, consequently, meant just what a man pleased to make it. He, therefore, swore most manfully, and our bank proceeded to business, by, in the first place, lending twenty-five per cent. more than the whole of its capital to the directors, the cash fer, and the president, to wit, myself,who claimed, and received, one-third of the whole as my lawful share. Having thus achieved the grand desideratum of making money out of nothing, my next step was to turn the discovery to the greatest advantage by changing what was worth nothing for something of real value. The truth is, 1 could never entirely discard from my mind certain unpleasant intruding doubts of the sta. bility of my system, and therefore resolved to make hay while the sun shone, Accordingly, I conceived another grand scheme for the em, ployment of the surplus funds of our institution. 1 proposed to a certain number of the members of the Legislature, to which 1 now no longer appertain, a plan for a great public improvement, that is, a rail road of a few hundred miles length. The thing was kept perfectly snug, while, by means of the funds furnished by our Bank, which was capable of expanding like an empty bladder, we proceeded quietly to purchase all the land in the immediate vicinity of the line of the contemplated improvement, which was intended however solely for the public good. We then once more commenced the system of log-rolling, to which I added another lever of my own invention, to wit, the agency of lobby members, and the law passed by a great majority: although sturdily opposed by an ignorant, old Dutch member, who insisted that the public good had come to signify noth. ing but private interest, As a sort of interlude to this, I became a purchaser of vast tracts of public land in the West, which I paid for in the notes of our bank, on which I expected to realize immensc profits, and which, even though it fell in price, would still be worth more than our paper pro mises, the chief recommendation of which war, that the moment they passed from my hands, as a private person, in payment of a debt, the debt was paid, though they might become ever so worthless afterwards. This is another great advantage of my newly invented Credit System, if not to those who receive, at least to those that pay. In this case, as I purchased of Uncle Sam, my conscience was quite easy, for in case the worst came to the worst, the old fellow could afford to lose the money. I was now rolling in wealth; the idol of the brokers; the oracle of financiers; the controller of the stock market; the envy of all that miserable race, which lives on real property and labour; and the founder of cities, for I had laid out six of these on my new lands, or rather on the maps of my lands,some of which threatened to outgrow even the great emporium of Ragamuffinsille. Nay, I don't know but I may in time become the founder of a great empire on the North Pacific, where I once ce. tablished an Agency for buying muskrat and mink skins. But alas! there is nothing perfect in this world, and my new Credit System, though as near perfection as possible, was unluckily a little out at one of its elbows. It contained a vile principle, by which it is said, by pretended philosophers, every thing in the natural and moral world is regulated. I mean the mischie vous and abominable principle of REACTION, the greatest enemy to the Credit System which has ever presented itself. Under the operation of this, it is pretended that the affairs of this world resemble the action of a pendulum, which the farther it is driven one way the farther it will recede on the other, thus ever returning to opposite extremes. Whether there be such a law of nature, or necessity, or not, certain it is that I now began to experience the existence of some cause or other by which the equilibrium of my new Credit System was sadly disturbed, At first I Our project went on swimmingly, and such ascribed it to the great number of banks which was the rise of property along the contemplat, had grown out of the system, with capitals ed improvement, that it was sold, and resold, "paid in, or secured to be paid" in a similar on credit, so many times that it was afterwards manner to ours; and the operation of the old ascertained it had become the representative saying that "too much pudding will choke a of more paper promises of one kind or other, dog." This however was so contrary to my than the whole district of country through first principle, namely, that it was utterly im which it passed, would sell for, after the great possible to have too much of a good thing, and improvement was made. Such was one of the of course an excess of credit and paper-money, first triumphs of my new Credit System, the that 1 discarded it with contemptuous indigna, 1 tion. At length 1 hit the nail on the head. discovered the origin of all the dangers which now began to threaten my system in two great sources, namely, the "Specie Circular and the Specie Humbug." These two humbuge plagued me exceedingly. The former interfered with the founding of my cities in the West,by striking at the root of my Credit System, which contemplated the entire extension of every thing but promises to pay instead of payments; and the latter was a serious obstacle to my plan of causing the people to give up their absurd prejudices in favour of silver and gold,by keeping the latter out of sight until they should actually forget such things ever cxisted. I al ways considerc. specie as the great ally of ignorance and barbarisin, and was convinced in my own mind that an extensive paper circulation representing nothing, and which nobody was obliged to redcem, was the sole agent of refinement and civilization. And here 1 must do myself the justice to state that the idea which a "Great Financier" of the present day has since carried into practice, of issuing the notes of defunct institutions, upon the above princi. ple, was suggested by me in a confidential con versation. Be this as it may, these two mischievous humbugs caused a sudden revulsion in the flood-tide of my affairs. The dunderheaded people, 1 mean the big-pawed Farmers, and the hard-handed Mechanics and Labourers, began once more to recall to mind those demoralizing substitutes for paper-money, silver and gold, which are well denominated in the Scriptures the root of all evil, Certain mischievous fel, lows, out of revenge for being disappointed in getting discounts at my bauk, began to write essays in some of the newspapers whose editors were in a similar predicament, full of the most disorganizing_principles. They maintained the enormous heresy of Equal Rights; denounced Monopolies; denied that a promise was the actual substance of the thing promised, and cancelled the obligation; and dared to insinu. ate that a superstructure that had no foundation would be very likely to fall to the ground, the first storm it encountered. Nay, they had the hardihood to assert that of nothing, nothing could come, and thus struck at the very heart of my system. In vain did 1 marshal my forces, consisting of editors of newspapers whom 1 had conciliated by my generosity, and who repaid me with gratitude; politicians whom 1 had linked body and soul with the existence of my system, and who lived and breathed in that alone; and legislators who had grown out of it like toad stools from rotten wood. In vain did 1 set on foot the ery of Loco Foco, Fanny Wright, Robert Dale and Jack Cade; equally vain that 1 called on the people who owed more than they could pay; the people who sighed to make promises they could not fulfil, and all those who desired to live by their wits instead of their labour, to come forth and defend their possessions, their morals and their religion. All would not do. The stubborn ignorance of the mass of mankind, which prevents them from knowing when they are well off, or properly distinguishing betwixt happiness and misery, resisted the efforts of reason and virtue, and it became evident that the crisis of my great Crodit System was at hand, It behooved us, therefore, to make ready for the shock; and according we proceeded to prepire ourselves for a run upon our Bank. We had only specie enough in our vaults to pay the postage of our letters, and our capital con sisted entirely of the followed items: Firstly. The notes of hand which represented the stock of the bank. Secondly. The stock of the bank which represented the notes of hand. Thirdly. The debts due to the bank, to wit, the notes of the president, directors,and editors and politicians, we had thought it prudent to make friends of, in order to resist the stupid, ignorant hostility of the 'big-paws' and others. I had almost forgot to mention that somewhat rising one-third more than the whole amount ef the nominal capital of our bank, was loaned to myself and the Directors, of which 1 had by far the largest share, as was but just, secing 1 had not only invented the great improvement in the Credit System, but likewise the means of carrying it into execution by log-rolling. This brief exposition will serve better than any other mode, to exemplify the principles of my system. The reader will readily perceive that our Bank had actually no other capital than public confidence, or as the infidel Loco Focos, and Fanny Wright men, who believe in nothing but Specie Humbugs, call it, public credulity. This was the perfection of my sys tem. It is easy enough to found a Banking System on a specie basis, but to raise it upon credit alone, 1 consider the triumph of fiancier. ing. Our first act, in order to meet the unreasonable demands of the senseless people who held our notes, a great amount of which we had is sued in anticipation to strengthen us against the coming storm, was to discharge a great duty to ourselves. Charity begins at home, is one of the fundamental maxims of my Credit System. So we unanimously decided to liquidate our own obligations by cancelling all our respective notes, given as security for the ca pital stock. Our next act was, to cancel the certificates of stock pledged by ourselves as collateral security for the stock; and our third to throw both notes and certificates into the fire, Thus at once was cancelled all our responsibilities in the most satisfactory manner. The bank which, according to my great Credit System, originated in nothing, returned to its original element of nothing, and all parties isfied. He rejoiced in selling, and I in purchasing, what I was assured would enrich me a few hundred thousands in the end. This would undoubtedly have been the case if it had not been for the obstinate ignorance and stupidity of our outlandish Government, which about this time began a series of diabolical experiments which played the very mischief with my Credit System, and gradually were perfectly content, except those eternal and disorganizing grumblers, the Loco Focos and Jack Cade men whom nothing will satisfy, who came with their hands full of our notes to demand payment, and began to talk of tarring and feathering. But the Mayor had providentially ordered out the military to overawe these unreasonable villains, and so my gentlemen went home with each a flea in his ear. 1 by the loss of a pitiful its the by the sum, unworthy the no- lic eredulity. It undertook to refuse my bank tice of the great inventor of the Credit System, notes in payment of the public lands, which but I have since quieted my conscience by sub- operated against my system like a two-edged scribing liberally to soup-houses,and thus fairly sword, right and left. It injured its credit and quit scores with these wretched, irreligious, de- depressed the price of lands, by demanding paymoralized beings. ment in specie instead of what all people of good breeding call its "representative." ofa This equitable adjustment of our affairs placme on the very pinnacle of prosperity. 1 had paid all my debts to the people, and might now have sat down in the enjoyment of a quiet conscience amid unbounded wealth, but the is, I longed for a single hundred thousand dollars more, to make up two millions, and unfortunately an opportunity seemed to present itself just in the nick of time. 1 had a particular friend,- -one with whom 1 had done business for years past, and regularly got to windward of two or three times a year; but with all this the fellow crept along prosperously by some inconceivable means beyond my comprehension. There are such men in the world, and of all beings in the creation they most puzzle me to account for their prosperity. They themselves pretend to explain it by quot ing that sale maxim about honesty being the best policy; but for my part 1 never saw honesty achieve such wonders, and accordingly it does not constitute one of the elements of my Credit System. It is at war with the spirit of the age and the progress of improve ment. lt embarrassed me terribly, and was the commencement of the downfall of one of the greatest estates ever acquired by a single man in the United States. People when they found themselves obliged to give real value instead of its respectable representative for lands, began to calculate the cost, etc., which they never did before, when they paid in promises which neither themselves nor any body else ever expected to redeem. Land began to descend rapidly, and like a wagon running down hill, the nearer it got to the bottom the faster it went. Not content with aiming this blow at the national prosperity, this outlandish Government not long afterwards proposed the "Infamous Scheme" of a divorce of Bank and State, which completed my downfall. "Infamous Scheme," indeed, for what could be more infamous than withdrawing the Govvernment from a partnership in which it furn. ished a great portion of the capital, and all the credit, while the other parties received all the profits? It was in fact a base conspiracy against my system, and accordingly all the really honest patriots raised a hue and cry the moment it made its appearance. I was one of the first that moved in the business by calling Be this as it may, when in consequence of the "suspension" of our Bank, I had got rid of all my responsibilities in the most satisfactory manner, and felt myself perfectly independent a meeting of every man who owed more than of panic and pressure, my worthy friend came to me one day with a proposition to sell a tract of new land, comprising three millions of acres and several large towns in perspective. This tract I had originally sold him at a pretty considerable profit, and now thought it would be a capital operation to purchase back again under the depression of the panic which I was convinced would blow over again and be followed by a corresponding reaction of prices. My worthy friend was excessively alarmed and consequently very desirous to sell his land, and realize the proceeds, as soon as possible. took advantage of his opprehensions, and finally purchased back my land at somewhat less than half of what 1 received for it, paying him cash in hand. The poor creature went away highly delighted, and what is not common on such occasions, both parties were perfectly sat he could pay, in the city of Ragamuffinvilleand they were not a few in number-which denounced the Specie Circular, the Infamous Scheme, and the outlandish Administration, which had, by its stupid folly, arrested the career of my Credit System, and ruined the country by prematurely experimenting on the capacity of mankind, to continue the practice of running in debt through an infinite series, as 1 am convinced can be done, if no mischievous attempts are made to appeal to their common sense and experience, But 1 have neither temper nor patience to detail all the mischievous follies and stupid ex periments of our outlandish Government, and, besides, the details of my decline are by no means so agreeable to my recollection as those of my rise. Suffice it to say, that the great land speculation 1 made out of my simple friend as I thought him at the time, was the primary cause of my catastrophe. The blunders of this outlandish Government had arrested the glori ous career of speculation, which like a top the moment it ceases to whirl round, falls to the ground. 1 had risen with speculation, and 1 fall with speculation. 1 had lived for years in the anticipation of a rise in the value of every thing on the face of the earth, except paper. money, and as soon as prices declined 1. became to all intents and purposes "a lame duck." It is unnecessary to enter into details, as my object is not to record my descent, but my as cension. Suffice it to say, that the vile perse. cutions and egregious blunders of our outlandish Administration at length brought me to a "suspension," that being the genteel phrase for what used to be called bankruptcy. And here 1 will pause a moment to observe on the truth of the Conservative theory, that my Credit Sys. tem is the parent of all that is pure and refined in human society. In nothing is this more strikingly exemplified than the refinements it has brought about in our language. In the "iron money and black broth" days of specie circulation, when a man could not or would not pay his debts he was called a bankrupt,-now he has only suspended; taking in another in a bargain, was called swindling, now it is speculation; running in debt without paying, or having any prospect of doing it, is now enter. prise; crime is imprudent, and murder, a great misfortune. But if any doubt remains of the beautiful perfection of my system, it will be found in the following fact which 1 record as the consummation of its triumphs. 1 had for more than fifteen years lived in the greatest luxury and splendor; 1 had spent in that time upwards of two hundred and fifty thousand dollars; 1 had held property to the amount of between two and three millions, and yet when I came to investigate my affairs critically,I found that at no period of my prosperity had 1 ever been worth a dollar in the world! In short, 1 had been over head and cars in debt every moment of that time. Can any one after this doubt for a single moment the perfection of my Credit System? Can any man that loves his countty or his species, refrain from joining with me in denouncing the Specie Circular, the Specie Hum. bug, the Infamous Scheme, and the tissue of blundering ignorance exhibited by our outland. ish Administration? But for these 1 might have gone on accumulating "responsibilities" and spending money like dirt, to the end of my life, and what if my debts had increased all that time? It would only have been a few hundred thousand dollars more issues of paper money, by some body or other, and the vacuum would have been supplied. This is the great beauty of my system. It works by an infinite series, as it were, and there is only one trifling thing wanting, namely, that there should be all debtors, and no creditors, in the would. 1 don't despair of bringing this about, when, as will certainly be the case a couple or three years hence, our ignorant outlandish Administration is replaced by my disciples of the Credit System. Then shall we see the age of Internal Improvements, unexampled exquisite refinement, and unlimited public prosperity, for then will every body owe and nobody pay; then will the wealth of the nation, like that of England, be demonstrated by the amount of its debt; then will the true Agrarian principle be in practical operation, for a man who borrows a hundred thousand dollars will be as rich as the one that lends it; and then there will be no occasion for a bottom to the sea, for the whole world will be adrift on its surface. Such are the anticipations with which 1 solace the lazy hours of my temporary retirement from the business of the world. My other auxiliary comfort is in recalling the busy scenes of my former career, and either suggesting great speculations to others, or imagining the muse for myself. In this way I endeavour to get rid of the desperate ennui of a life free from the perplexity and distraction of being of out of debt. 1 have compounded with my cre. ditors at a pistareen in the pound,and the leaden depression consequent on being freed from the excitement of getting up every morning, with out knowing whether I should not be " suspended" before night; and going to bed every night with the anticipation of being a lame duck the next morning, is now the principal evil of which I complain. It is inconceivable what interest such vicissitudes communicated to life, and were it not that 1 look forward to the speedy downfall of our ignorant outlandish Administration, and the resuscitation of my Credit System in more than its past glory, 1 really believe I should be obliged to turn phil. anthropist, to pass away the time. P. S. 1 forgot to mention that on my retire. ment from the presidency of my bank, the Di rectors unanimously voted me a service of plate, worth twenty thousand dollars; and that my father, to whose lessons 1 am indebted for every blessing 1 have enjoyed or anticipated, has lately been appointed by the Federal Common Council of Ragamuffinville, Chairman of the Finance Committee,on account of his great talent at "raising the wind," which is now the principal employment of our States and Corporations, public, against the abuse of extraordinary powers granted to this body of associated wealth? Has this been done? have our public men become rareless in relation to the rights of the mauy? Have they become willing to sacrifice the interests of the great body for the favor of the wealthy few? Are they connected with the incorporated wealth of the land, in the character of STOCKHOLDERS, DIRECTORS, AGENTS, or FEED COUNCIL, whilst assuming to perform the most solemn duty of Representatives of the people? Of late years there is a desire manifested by good, and should not every such act secure the the wealthy few to change their relation to the great body of the people, by withdrawing their wealth from property which is tangible, and the value of which is easily known and ascertained, and investing the same in a species of property or securities or whatever else it may be denominated, called stocks, with the value of which the great mass is wholly unacquainted; whereby they obtain great and unbounded advantages over the people, and control over the public in stitutions of the country-all of which they have been enabled to accomplish by means of the various charters of incorporation granted to associated bodies of wealthy citizens, by Congress and the Legislatures of the several States, with out any sufficient safeguards to protect the many against the avarice, cupidity, folly or frauds of this favored few. This fearful tendency towards the entire prostration of popular rights, is well calculated to create a belief and the apprehension throughout our country, that those advantages so conferred on the favored few, have not been fairly and properly obtained from their Representatives; and the means whereby such charters are obtained, or sustained, and continued in existence, demand the strictest scrutiny, not only on the part of the great body of our citizens, but also from such portion of our Representatives as prefer duty to ease; and are willing to encounter the abuse and defamation of monopolists and their corrupt supporters, rather than forfeit the confidence of the just, the patriotic, the disinterested, and the betrayed public. Why has chartered monopolies been so multiplied of late without securing the public against abuse from such extraordinary privileges? If an hundred men in their separate and individual characters, as citizens, have not one dollar of surplus cash to lend, can an act authorizing them to issue paper money add one dollar to the cash circulation of the country? And will not any paper they may issue for such purpose corrupt the circulation and produce a public injury? It has been alleged that many of them sustain at present this inconsistent and incompatible relation. It has been alleged that for the twenty years which the late Bank of the United States was in existence, every member in Congress from Philadelphia (except two) was connected in interest with that institution, as DIRECTOR, STOCK-HOLDER, COUNCIL, or AGENT. And that frequently he who was looked upon by the public as a Representative of the people, had probably been only induced to offer them his services, with a view to look after the interest of the Bank. How far other districts may have been subject to the same abuse, either in Congress or in the Legislatures of the States, we are not informed; but we think it high time that this alleged connection between the peoples' Representatives and the Banks and other incorporations of associated wealth should be examined into and fully understood. Let the public assemblies be purged from even a suspicion of this poison at the fountam of all of our systems, and put the public mind at rest upon the subject Let all Stockholders, Directors, Agents and Council for the Banks and other incorporations of associated wealth, whether in Congress or the State Legislatures, make their connection with such incorporations known, and let the Legisla tive bodies respectively, by rule, debar such interested members from voting on any question affecting the interest of such corporations. This would shew the people who were their Representatives, and who were the Representatimes of INCORPORATED WEALTH. Suppose on the other hand, that the hundred persons are each wealthy, with cash capital, are they not then doing well enough in the world to let them take their chance with the great mass "Laws are only the terms by which men have of oitizens who are without surplus cash? Should agreed to live together in society." Infractions their powers and advantages be greatly enhanced should be punished according to the nature of by uniting them together as a corporate body, the crime, by the sentence of impartial Judges, unless intended for public as well as for private and the verdicts of disinterested and impartial |