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Party in the Cart (to Tomkins, who is immensely proud of his Steed). "I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR, BUT YOU DON'T 'APPEN TO 'AV ANOTHER CAMEL AS YOU WANT TO DISPOSE OF?"

ORTHOGRAPHY AND SPELLING.

To the SECRETARY FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS.

MY DEAR MALMESBURY,

DID you ever see the little farce called The Fish out of Water; or, the Cook and the Secretary? LISTON, as I have heard old gentlemen say, and as you may recollect, used in this piece to act the part of a cook, who has been engaged to manage an ambassador's kitchen. Circumstances of a farcical nature cause the cook to exchange places with a young swell who has entered the service of the same master in the capacity of secretary. The cook makes a cup of chocolate for the secretary, and the secretary writes an official note for the cook. This kind of arrangement answers beautifully, until the cook has to write a letter from the ambassador's dictation. Even then, so long as the ambassador's language is limited to words of one and two syllables, the cook in the disguise of secretary manages to get on, constructing his terms with an arrangement of letters based upon your optional principle.

Presently, however, arrives the necessity of putting the word "contumacious," or one of similar complexity, into black and white. The culinary amanuensis is here posed-not floored. A Johnson's Dictionary stands on a shelf of the library which is the scene of his task; with his employer's back turned, he catches at this straw-so to speak of a folio: it slips through his fingers, and falls-with his last hopeto the ground.

Why, Sir, you are ignorant of the commonest principles of orthography!" cries the astonished ambassador, as, catching up his secretary's unfinished manuscript, he peruses that specimen of original penmanship.

"Tis n't the orthography, Sir," LISTON (I am told) used to answer, in a rich and deep-mouthed tone of deprecation;-"'tis n't the orthography, Sir, that I care about,-but 'tis that dashed spelling!" Now, my dear MALMESBURY, if you had been in LISTON's place, or rather in the place of the character personated by him, although you might not exactly have uttered the words spoken by LISTON, I suppose

the tenor of your reply would have involved his distinction between orthography and spelling. You, it seems, would define spellingregarded as an acquirement demanded by examiners of candidates for diplomatic service, and other employments or honours-as the art of forming words with letters according to fashionable usage. Orthography, on the other hand, according to your definition, would be that peculiar mode of spelling, on the part of everybody, which everybody for his own part thinks right. Accordingly, had you found yourself in the embarrassing situation in which LISTON used to appear as the secretary who could not spell, your reply to the Ambassador would perhaps have been: "Sir, orthography is my graphy, and heterography is another man's graphy."

But, admitting that aphorism to be as true as its famous pre-parallel, still, my dear MALMESBURY, may not the Civil Service Commissioners reasonably regard that same spelling which LISTON qualified with an expletive-that dictionary spelling commonly in use-as a thing of some importance, because of affording some evidence touching literary attainments? You were not taught to spell Greek and Latin; you were not taught to spell French: how is it that you never make mistakes of ignorance in the orthography of dead or living foreign languages? Is it not because you are so well read in them, and have thus picked your classical and foreign spelling up? Just so, if an attaché can spell his own language properly, he shows that he has, in so far, read books. Let me recommend you, too, to read your book, which I suppose will be a Blue Book just now, unless an elementary work of MRS. BARBAULD'S, or DR. DILWORTH's, is more likely to afford you the information which you may be in want of. For amusement, modesty alone prevents me from referring you to the pages of your ever affectionate Brother Statesman, PUNCH.

P.S. I'll tell you what I think, however, about Civil Service Exami nations in spelling. Written exercises are no fair test. The hand of a writer will often run away with him whilst his head is thinking, or from other causes more probable in the cases in question. The exami nation should be viva voce, and the candidates might be arranged in classes, standing upon stools.

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PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
LATEST TELEGRAM.

Saturday Morning, Two a.m. LOUIS NAPOLEON PALMERSTON and VICTOR EMMANUEL RUSSELL have crossed the Floor, under a tremendous fire from the Austrian invader, DISRAELI, who has been compelled to retire. The slaughter of character on both sides has been awful. London is illuminated, as usual at this time of night.

JUNE 6.-Monday. Into the House of Lords came the elegant CHELMSFORD, as Chancellor, not long destined to grace the Woolsack. Probably, as he sat there, and listened to his fellow-peers a swearing, he thought how very much better he must look in his robes than, would either of his probable successors-the subtle BETHELL, or the fiery COCKBURN. But he did not give utterance to any such sentiment.

Into the House of Commons came an Austrian nobleman of the name of ROTHSCHILD, and another Austrian nobleman, his brother. Likewise came a City nobleman called SALOMONS. Before which three children of Israel did the frantic NEWDEGATE dash himself on the floor, and wildly seek to trip them up in their way to their seats. But LORD JOHN RUSSELL and the SPEAKER straightway clapped a strait-waistcoat upon the enthusiast, and the Hebrew noblemen proceeded to their places in peace.

Tuesday. LORD DERBY's Parliament opened.

Her Gracious Majesty QUEEN ALEXANDRINA (Mr. Punch is on such terms with his Sovereign, that he may call her by any respectful name he chooses, and he chooses to air his Monarch's first name, out of compliment to DR. CROLY, the poet, who has been writing a long letter in the Morning Advertiser, abusing the CITY CHAMBERLAIN for scoffing at ALEXANDER THE GREAT) came in state to the New Palace of Westminster, and read the following verses:

"I am grieved, my dear Lords, and dear Gentlemen too,
To state, as I now most reluctantly do,

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MY STARS AND GARTERS!
I SOMETIMES wish I were a King
That Honour's fountain I might be;
And oh how fresh you'd find the spring
If Honour bubbled forth from me!
For rank and title I'd bestow,

By an old rule, on objects new:
Since I should by the maxim go,,
Honour to whom the same is due.

My coronets the heads should grace
That held within the highest brain.
Science I'd give at least a place

As good as eminent Chicane;
For I think useful knowledge ought
To hold its head as high as law,
And do suppose that men of thought
Deserve no less than men of jaw.

Brave Soldiers I would still promote,
And Sailors-for they keep the peace;
And for that cause, with equal note
Would I distinguish the Police.
The knife encountered in the slums
Should merit Valour's Cross to show;
Death from a home-born savage comes
As like as from a foreign foe.

What are domestic cut-throats less

Than Sepoys, or than Sepoys more? What else are slaves, with fell excess

Who burn to ravage England's shore ?
From equal blackguards, guards alike,
Policemen act with soldiers' hearts,
And soldiers for BRITANNIA strike,
As Constables for Foreign Parts.

Inspectors I would Captains make,
Superintendents all should be
Colonels; Commissioners should take
A General Officer's degree.
Our heroes, blue and red, should share
An equal glory and renown,

For braving danger here and there,

In putting thieves and ruffians down.

That poor MALMESBURY there (though I'm sure he's had due rope)
Has failed in suspending the conflict in Europe.

The French and Sardinians have joined in alliance,
And bid FRANCIS JOSEPH the fiercest defiance;
All parties declare that they 're friendly to me,
So I shall be neutral, till--well, we shall see.

I have faith in that pledge and that promise of peace,
And, therefore, my navy I'm begged to increase;
Ready votes of supplies I perceive on your lips,
And I know you will help me in manning my ships.

"KING FRANCIS informs me his father is dead,
And that he is the Sovereign of Naples instead.
I've renewed the relations (he may turn out well)
Which I broke with the wretch who is now-in his shell.

"If you think, while preparing for probable storm,
You have time to attend to the thing called Reform,'
Why, do; but if not, make no needless delay;
The affair should be settled and out of the way."

The QUEEN had scarcely withdrawn, looking at the Mistress of the Robes with a compassionate glance (as a kind-hearted lady looks at a lady's-maid who is going to lose her situation for no fault of her own, but on account of the other servants' quarrels), when preparations were made for conflict. This, beginning on the first night of the Session, raged for three days; and rather before dawn on the Saturday morning the banner of LORD DERBY had gone down.

Members of Parliament grew so terribly Cocky at Mr. Punch noticing them all in his Report of the Reform Debate, that there has been no bearing them. The complaints which reach him on the subject are constant and piteous. Everybody who was mentioned in that astonishing Homeric Poem is always pulling the Number out of his pocket, and with pretence of not caring about the honour, showing that it has flushed and intoxicated him. This is very natural; and

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Mr. Punch, whose pages were justly described by CAPTAIN VERNON finally and wrathfully responded: "If I wasn't a lady, I'd poke this (heir to the collector of the VERNON Gallery, in which there is nothing here parasol in your mouth and punch your head for you, you dirty more splendid in art than Mr. Punch's gallery,) in Friday's debate, as &c., &c., &c." Perhaps LORD CHELMSFORD thought of the anecdote "immortal"-(the CAPTAIN'S Parliamentary career is promising, for (he tells anecdotes capitally), and had it on his mind to tell CAMPBELL he already knows how to speak the truth) cannot be angry with the that if he wasn't a Chancellor he'd take a sight at him. If so, it was Flies who are so proud of being preserved in his Amber. But he will very vulgar, and we don't believe he thought of anything of the not squirt too much water from his fountain of honour, and upon kind. the present occasion intends to mention a very few names. This But in the Commons, as hath been hinted, the deed was done, and resolve is the more righteous, inasmuch as everybody knew that the the DERBY Cabinet was put to death by the Parliament it had assembled. debate was mere matter of form, and carried on only that the whips The manner was thus. on both sides might have time to bring up their men.

The House of Lords may be briefly dismissed, as the hostile armies did not engage there. LORD GRANVILLE made a gentlemanly attack upon the Ministers, and LORD MALMESBURY made a mild reply on his own behalf. A sort of feature in the debate was the resuscitation of LORD NORMANBY, novelist and diplomatist, who lately wrote a blundering account of the last French Revolution but eight or ten-we forget which-and was remarkably castigated by M. LOUIS BLANC. He made a speech of Austrian tendency, and the Daily News rewards him with the title of "a smirking POLONIUS." LORD BROUGHAM, also, assailed Sardinia for causing the war, and recommended us to be on our guard. The PREMIER delivered his last speech in that capacity, and an able and pleasant speech it was. Among other points, LORD DERBY touched upon the ancient ill-feeling between LORDS PALMERSTON and JOHN RUSSELL, and rather ridiculed[By the way, it is not exactly Parliament, but it is fitting to state here that the day before, between two and three hundred Liberals had met at Willis's Rooms, and LORDS PALMERSTON and JOHN having there and then sworn eternal friendship, it was arranged that the DERBY Cabinet should be floored.] -the new friendship between those great persons. His Lordship remarked that though, as had been stated in debate, MR. Fox had been called an Angel by a colleague, LORD PALMERSTON had hitherto abstained from calling LORD JOHN an Angel. LORD DERBY also denied having spent £20,000 in helping the elections (four election petitions are already presented), but did not deny having done something, as was customary. CLARENDON lifted up his hands in pretended astonishment, whereat DERBY intimated that he was a Muff. The Address was agreed to. There was nothing else in the Lords this week, except a malicious speech of LORD CAMPBELL'S, who hoped that LORD CHELMSFORD Would long occupy the Woolsack. There is a story of a respectable female, who, being pestered for alms by a pertinacious mendicant, with "Do, there's a dear lady! do, there's a good lady!"

GIVING HANDEL A TURN.

LORD HARTINGTON, son of the DUKE OF DEVONSHIRE, moved, to the motion for the Address, an amendment to the effect that the Ministry had not the confidence of the House of Commons. ROBERT HANBURY, Brewer, seconded, wishing to see all the Ministers Ex, Ex, Ex, Ex, and the administration on its bier.

MR. DISRAELI accepted the challenge, made a slashing speech, defied everybody, specially pitched into SIR JAMES GRAHAM, and asked for the division directly. This was because a good many Members had not been sworn, and Ministers might therefore have had a majority. But it is childish to write as if he had been trying any "trick.' He knew perfectly well that LORD PALMERSTON knew all about it, and that no division would be allowed. The defiance was only a Parliamentary flourish. The discussion was prolonged. and, after a very good attack by LORD PALMERSTON, the debate was adjourned. Wednesday was nihil. Thursday, the debate was renewed, and MR. BRIGHT fired hot shot into Ministers; SIR JAMES GRAHAM made a lumbering and awkward defence of his loose tongue at Carlisle, but was statesmanlike and elegant in calling Mr. DISRAELI a Red Indian, who had won his place by tomahawking and kept it by scalping. MR. WHITESIDE availed himself of his last chance of abusing his antagonists, and again the debate was adjourned, to be renewed once, and only once more. On Friday, MILNER GIBSON, SIDNEY HERBERT, and SIR GEORGE LEWIS attacked Government, SIR JOHN PAKINGTON defended it, and modestly took credit to himself for having reconstructed the Navy. Finally, LORD JOHN RUSSELL admitted that a Party move was being made, and declared that the Government deserved all they were getting, and going to get, and SIR HUGH CAIRNS, Solicitor-General, wound up his brilliant ministerial career (for the present) by an oration in defence of LORD DERBY'S Government.

The jury then retired, and in a short time returned. The Four-men advanced to the table, and it was announced that by 323 to 310, majority THIRTEEN, LORD DERBY's Government was found GUILTY of not being the thing wanted by the people.

fails in what she chooses to attempt, there is no handle for the doubt that her show of hands will bear away the palm from other celebrators.

If you question this, O Croaker, down with your half-guinea, and go to the rehearsal. The first beat of the big drum will knock conviction into you. All doubts will be dispelled at the first crash of the chorus. Pay no heed to what you hear about the Crystal Palace not being a place for music, about its "too expanded area," and "known acoustical defects." These are mere spots on the sun. Not one man in a thousand, if unhelped by the critics, would be able to detect them. Not one man in ten thousand, who has any ear for musie, would, when he can fill it with such music as HANDEL'S, ever waste a whit of his auricular capacity by taking pains to listen for "acoustical defects."

Besides, be the acoustic imperfections what they may, they cannot interfere with the ocular enjoyment; and everybody knows that the Crystal Palace Music Shows appeal nearly as much to the one sense as the other. A deaf man or a blind one might alike find pleasure in them. Why, the sight of that great Orchestra, full to brimming over with its sea of beaming faces, is a sight quite worth a trip from the Antipodes to see, and those who live at the Land's End merely should certainly not miss it.

HE year we are now living in is fruitful in centenaries. A while ago we had the BURNS Centenary, the Centenary of Song; and now we have to celebrate the HANDEL Centenary, the Centenary of Music. Great as was the interest taken in the BURNS Festival, the excitement which is shown as to the HANDEL one exceeds it. This is as it should be: the interest is greater, as the genius was greater. In a pecuniary point, too, this is as it should be. On the attractiveness of festivals depends mainly their success; and to keep up their attractiveness, every centenary should eclipse all those Long before, and ever since the Frogs of ARISTOPHANES, there have, preceding it. Perhaps unre- in every corner of the universe, been croakers; and although the flecting minds may think that HANDEL Festival of two years since was a success, and that was there had better be no more merely a rehearsal for the one which now succeeds it;-although the centenaries, for the reason that management is trusted now to the same heads, and the performance of the climax of genius is now the music to the same hands and voices, both powers being strengthreached. But it will surely be ened by well-drilled reinforcements; although we know that every enough to silence these un- one of the army of Three Thousand, from Conductor-in-Chief COSTA, thinking ones, if we point out up to (in position) the blowers of the organ-bellows, has been for that within the limits of a century our great-great-grandchildren will months in training for this one grand week, and has scarcely passed a celebrate the centenary of Punch!

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However, it is early yet to speculate on this latter event. When the Punch Centenary comes, England will expect herself, of course, to do her duty. At present, England must content herself with going down to Sydenham, and in duty having a hand in the HANDEL celebration. All the world joins in concert to do honour to its HANDEL; and in the concerto England plays first fiddle. Ranking first in music, (as in all the other arts,) England deputes herself to head the show of hands for HANDEL; and as England, like her Punch, by no chance ever

day without taking a turn at HANDEL;-although they have a perfect knowledge of all this, there are very likely wiseacres still extant who affect to have a doubt if all will go off well, and to fear that the performance will not realise the promise. Now, croaks are at all seasons unpleasant sounds to listen to, and when ears are being sharpened for the notes of a NOVELLO, they naturally become more than usually sensitive. It devolves on Mr. Punch, then, in the interests of humanity, to act like a ST. PATRICK, and to crush the croakers. So Mr. Punch will not mind risking his prophetic reputa

crude, that we cannot venture to play the part of Jack Horner any longer. It is impossible to put one's thumb into this cluster without detaching a whole clot of plums. This is, the sentence by whose lumbering machinery HER MAJESTY is made to flounder into, and out of, the subject of Parliamentary Reform, in a style never surpassed by any master of the slip-slop or higgledypiggledy style, so much in vogue among advertisers, auctioneers, and fashionable novelists:

tion by predicting that, before he goes to press with his next Number, in which blunders occur clustered in a heap, at once so rich and so he will have split above a dozen pairs of best kid gloves, in applauding to the echo the trio of performances; and will have knocked the heels off eleven pairs of boots, in stamping his approval upon all who had a head, or hand, or voice in the matter. With this prophecy to back them, the Committee may rely that their "Commemoration Festival" will prove a great success. If any lover of good music wilfully absents himself, the fact should be regarded as a proof of his insanity, and his friends should all subscribe to buy him a strait-waistcoat. Tastes, we all know, differ. There are some men, it is true, who have no more love for HANDEL than PRINCE PLON-PLON has for fighting, and whom one no more expects to see at the Messiah than one expects to see LORD MALMESBURY presiding at a charity-school for the purpose of distributing, the prizes for good spelling. But these are merely the exceptions which serve to prove the rule. The majority of Englishmen love HANDEL as they love their national roast beef. His chorusses are good, sub. stantial mental food, and make a most delicious change from the toujours-Verdi diet with which the British Opera-goer is now annually sickened.

"All ye who music love, and would its pleasures prove," go, then, down to Sydenham, and take your places at the HANDEL feast. Mind you, it's no ordinary annual affair, like the lunch upon the Derby Day, or the LORD MAYOR'S dinner. Go now, or never; there will be no alternative. However well it may go off, you'll not get it encored for you. Centenaries come, like aloes bloom, once in a hundred years. Gather then, oh! gather ye, such blossoms while ye may! Unless you hope to live to be a rival of OLD PARR, you cannot hope to live to see another HANDEL Centenary!

MALMESBURY v. MAVOR,

AND

DISRAELI v. DILWORTH.

SUCH is Mr. Punch's loyalty, that he is reluctant to criticise the language which issues from the lips of his Gracious Sovereign, even when he knows it has been put into that august mouth by the Ministers for the time being. But in the case of a QUEEN'S Speech proceeding from the present Cabinet, Mr. Punch has a special reason for being critical.

If the Ministry include a MALMESBURY, nobly scornful of orthography, who considers PRISCIAN honoured, every time an attaché "of tact, temper, good manners, and savoir faire," condescends to break the head of the priggish old pedagogue, it contains, also, a DISRAELI, who has wielded the poet's pen as well as the romancer's, and a BULWER, who has won his spurs (whether golden or pinch-beck is not the question)-in almost every field of literature in which money can be made.

At the threshold of the Royal Speech, Mr. Punch breaks his shins over an unlicensed adjective. HER MAJESTY declares that

"She avails Herself with Satisfaction, in the present anxious State of Public Affairs, of the Advice of Her Parliament, which she has summoned to meet with the least possible Delay."

"An anxious state of affairs ?" A Minister may be anxious about a place, or about a pension. A Cabinet may be anxious about a division on a motion of no confidence. A "state of affairs" may inspire anxiety. But how a "state of affairs" can be "anxious," Mr. Punch's knowledge of his native tongue is not profound enough to inform him. Perhaps the Civil Service Commissioners will propose the question to the next batch of competitors for Clerkships in the Foreign Office. War, we are informed, has been declared. HER MAJESTY"Receiving Assurances of Friendship from both the contending Parties, intends to maintain between them a strict and impartial Neutrality."

Why "strict and impartial?" Can a neutrality be "strict" without being "impartial," or "impartial" without being "strict?" HER MAJESTY hopes

"With God's Assistance, to preserve to Her People the Blessings of continued Peace."

the) Amendment of the Laws which regulate the Representation of My People in "I should with Pleasure give My Sanction to any well-considered (Measure for Parliament; and should you be of opinion that the Necessity of giving your immediate Attention to Measures of Urgency relating to the Defence and financial Condition during the present Session on a Subject 3 at once so difficult and so extensive, I of the Country will not leave you sufficient Time for legislating with due Deliberation trust that at the Commencement of the next Session your earnest Attention will be given to a Question of which an early and satisfactory Settlement would be greatly to the Public Advantage."

Words in italics

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(3) It is not the n mucity ottering, which "will not leave time," but "the giving." Again, measures of urgency" is only another phrase for measures to which "immediate attention" must be given. (3) Query, what subject? The defence, or the financial condition of the country. Again, 66 so difficult" as what?

(4) If an early" settlement is desirable, why defer it to next Session? Of course a "satisfactory" settlement must be "to the public advantage."

subject of a Reform Bill. Probably it is this obscurity which reflects Ministers, we know, are by no means clear in their notions on the itself in the haze of words we have just quoted.

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If she hopes to "preserve" peace, Mr. Punch would submit that sayings of le Grand Empereur. He is not half quick enough with his continued" is impertinent.

HER MAJESTY has thought fit, she tells us,

"To renew Her diplomatic Intercourse with the Court of Naples, which had been suspended during the late Reign."

What has been suspended? The Court of Naples? The law of grammatical antecedents would lead one to conclude so. We regret that the law of political antecedents is not equally strict. The "Court of Naples," whatever it may have deserved, was not "suspended' during the late reign. It was only our intercourse that was suspended -greatly to the disadvantage of the sufferers from Royal misrule in Naples.

These, however, are but a few of the undigested plums of the Cabinet Pudding, selected almost at random. There is one sentence

It is time that LOUIS NAPOLEON began to burlesque some of the parodies. However, he has a chance now at Milan, which he is not the clever man we take him to be, if he allows to slip through his fingers. Let LOUIS NAPOLEON ascend the cathedral, and then, bearing in mind what the first Emperor said about the forty centuries contemplating the French soldiers from the top of the Pyramids, address his brave army thus:-"Soldats! du haut de cette Cathédrale, non quarante siècles, mais Milan vous contemple."

"THE ROMANCE OF WAR."-The bulletins published on both sides, in which there is a difference sometimes of only 14,000 and 15,000 killed and wounded, and a like proportion of guns, standards, and prisoners!

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THE FOOR FLY-DRIVERS ARE UP SO LATE AT NIGHTS, THAT THEY ARE GLAD TO GET A NAP WHEN THEY CAN.

THIS IS NOT TO

BE WONDERED AT, BUT IT IS NOT LIKELY TO ADD TO THE REPOSE EITHER OF OLD MRS. DUMBLEDORE OR OF OLD MRS. BLOWHARD, WHO ARE OUT FOR AN AIRING!

THE COMMON LOT AND WIMBLEDON COMMON.

THE Surrey Comet has appeared with a tale calculated to excite serious alarm-with fear of change perplexing the inhabitants of the great metropolis and its suburbs. A rumour, inserted by the Comet, with some likelihood, has gone forth to the effect that steps have been taken towards the enclosure of Wimbledon Common. This horrid whisper may have intimated the discovery of a mare's nest; but lest it should turn out to be the prediction of a deplorable event, let it be noised abroad, that it may either create a laugh or excite an agitation. The idea of the possible enclosure of Wimbledon Common must make the heart of every Londoner who is not a Cockney sink within him, and affect him with a qualm like that which is the effect of antimony. Wimbledon Common is a part of the respiratory system of London, whereon we depend for a change of the air we breathe, which if we get not we die. When we stamp on Wimbledon Common, our foot is on one of our native heaths,-Hampstead is another, and our name is BROWN, JONES, or ROBINSON.

by turnips and mangold wurzel, or, worse still, by eligible residences, principally stuccoed villas.

Utility for ever; but heath, brambles, butterflies, moths, beetles, grasshoppers, cock-robins, and other small birds, in combination with fresh breezes and bright skies, are food for the soul, which is at least as useful as food for the stomach-as turnips and wheat. Without such nourishment, life is not worth living, for any being above a pig or an ass. Let not a brutal utilitarianism convert, as it threatens to do, the whole of beautiful England into a hot-bed whereon to raise crops of human beings! Ere we come to that, who that differs much inwardly from a hog does not wish that his body may form part of the hot-bed, and he himself may be in a nicer place? Commons of England, may it please your honourable House to protect the Common of Wimbledon. Let not that bit of beauty be devoured by unsparing agriculture, or destroyed and defiled by the extension of this great copropolis.

Portrait of the Derby Ministry.

Wimbledon Common is as fine an expanse of heath and bramble as a pedestrian could perambulate on a summer's day. Botanists find MR. DISRAELI characterised the speech of the young MARQUIS, who several choice weeds there, entomologists no end of beetles and opened the indictment against Ministers, as being "flimsy, feeble, and butterflies, which juvenile collectors pursue with hats, and the more illusive.". If a photograph had been taken of the Derby Ministry, we advanced with hand-nets. Ornithology, also, affords objects of interest do not think we could have had a more striking likeness than the one to the schoolboy and the elder student: that rare little bird, the Dart- that is conveyed in the above three simple words. Is it not emphatiford Warbler, occasionally cocks his tail on a briar in the path of the cally a Ministry that is alike "flimsy, feeble, and illusive ?" The explorer, who may mistake him for a Cock-robin; and the Stonechat, flimsy" applies to MANNERS; the "feeble" takes off MALMESBURY the Winchat, and Wheatear, chit-chatting on bush or hillock, present capitally; while the "illusive" is the very picture of DISRAELI himself. themselves as marks to the observant eye of mature age, or the projectile pebble of youth.

Enclose Wimbledon Common? Pull down St. Paul's! The only motive for either enormity would be that of slavery to the basest material interests; and there are those who had rather see St. Paul's demolished than Wimbledon Common spoiled. To them, the sight of the Cathedral occupied by warehouses would be a less grievous spectacle than the heather and blackberry bushes of the Common replaced |

The Consciousness of the River.

OLD Father Thames is not a very inviting personage, but if he did invite anybody to take something to drink, his invitation would probably be couched in familiar, not to say vulgar terms. In the language of the lower orders, the nasty old fellow would most likely with propriety, if not with elegance, express the offer by saying, "Have a drain!"

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