Mor. Give him money, knight. Yo. Lo. Do you begin the offering. Mor. There, poor fellow; here's an angel for thee.

Yo. Lo. Art thou in earnest, Morecraft? Mor. Yes, faith, knight. I'll follow thy example: Thou hadst land and thousands, thou spent'st, and flungst away, and yet it flows in double. I purchased, wrung, and wire-draw'd for my wealth, lost, and was cozen'd: For which I make a vow, to try all ways above ground, but I'll find a constant means to riches without curses.

Yo. Lo. I am glad of your conversion, Master Morecraft: You're in a fair course; pray pursue it still.

Mor. Come, we are all gallants now; I'll keep thee company.-Here, honest fellow, for this gentleman's sake, there's two angels more for thee. Sav. God quit you, sir, and keep you long in this mind!

Yo. Lo. Wilt thou persevere ?

Mor. 'Till I have a penny. I have brave clothes a-making, and two horses: Canst thou not help me to a match, knight? I'll lay a thousand pound upon my Crop-ear.

Yo. Lo. 'Foot, this is stranger than an Afric monster! There will be no more talk of the Cleve wars while this lasts. Come, I'll put thee into blood.

Sav. 'Would all his damn'd tribe were as tender-hearted! I beseech you let this gentleman join with you in the recovery of my keys; I like his good beginning, sir; the whilst, I'll pray for both your worships.

Yo. Lo. He shall, sir.

El. Lo. And the moon too; in which I'll be the

man.

Lady. But had I known this, had I but surmised it, you should have hunted three trains more, before you had come to the course; you should have hank'd o' the bridle, sir, i'faith.

El. Lo. I knew it, and mined with you, and so blew you up.-Now you may see the gentle. woman: Stand close. [They retire.

Enter WELFORD in his own Apparel, and MARTHA. Mar. For God's sake, sir, be private in this business;

You have undone me else. Oh, God, what have I done?

Wel. No harm, I warrant thee.

Mar. How shall I look upon my friends again? With what face?

Wel. Why, e'en with that; 'tis a good one, thou canst not find a better. Look upon all the faces thou shalt see there, and you shall find 'em smooth still, fair still, sweet still, and, to your thinking, honest; those have done as much as you have yet, or dare do, mistress; and yet they keep no stir.

Mar. Good sir, go in, and put your woman's clothes on:

If you be seen thus, I am lost for ever.

Wel. I'll watch you for that, mistress: I am no fool. Here will I tarry till the house be up, and witness with me.

Mar. Good dear friend, go in !

Wel. To bed again, if you please, else I am fix'd here till there be notice taken what I am, and what I have done. If you could juggle me into my womanhood again, and so cog me out of your company, all this would be forsworn, and I again an asinego, as your sister left me. No; I'll have it known and publish'd: Then, if you'll be a whore, forsake me, and be shamed: and, when you can hold out no longer, marry some cast Cleve captain, and sell bottle-ale.

Mar. I dare not stay, sir; use me modestly:

El, Lo. Your sister has found it so, or I mistake.
Mark how she blushes when you see her next.
Ha, ha, ha! I shall not travel now. Ha, ha, ha!
Lady. Pr'ythee, sweetheart,

Be quiet; thou hast angered me at heart.
El. Lo. I'll please you soon again.
Lady. Welford?

El. Lo. Ay, Welford. He's a young handsome fellow; well-bred, and landed: Your sister can instruct you in his good parts better than I, by this time.

Lady. Ud's foot, am I fetch'd over thus ? El. Lo. Yes, i'faith; and over shall be fetch'd again, never fear it.

Lady. I must be patient, though it torture me! You have got the sun, sir.

Wel. Go in; I'll make up all.

El. Lo. I'll be a witness of your naked-truth, sir. This is the gentlewoman; pr'ythee, look upon him This is he that made me break my faith, sweet; but thank your sister, she hath solder'd it.

Lady. What a dull ass was I, I could not see this wencher from a wench! Twenty to one, if I had been but tender, like my sister, he had served me such a slippery trick too.

Wel. Twenty to one I had.

El. Lo. I would have watch'd you, sir, by your
good patience, for ferreting in my ground.
Lady. You have been with my sister?
Wel. Yes; to bring―

El. Lo. An heir into the world, he means.
Lady. There is no chafing now.

Wel. I have had my part on't: I have been chaft this three hours, that's the least; I am reasonable cool now.

Lady. Cannot you fare well, but you must cry roast meat?

Wel. He that fares well, and will not bless the founders, is either surfeited, or ill taught, lady. For mine own part, I have found so sweet a diet, I can commend it, though I cannot spare it. El. Lo. How like you this dish, Welford? I

made a supper on't, and fed so heartily, I could not sleep.

Lady. By this light, had I but scented out your train, you had slept with a bare pillow in your arms, and kiss'd that, or else the bed-post, for any wife you had got this twelvemonth yet. I would have vex'd you more than a tired post-horse, and been longer bearing than ever after-game at Irish was. Lord, that I were unmarried again!

El. Lo. Lady, I would not undertake you, were you again a haggard, for the best cast of ladies i' th' kingdom: You were ever tickle-footed, and would not truss round.

Wel. Madam, can you tell what we did? El. Lo. She has a shrewd guess at it; I see it by her

Lady. Well, you may mock us: But, my large gentlewoman, my Mary Ambrée, had I but seen into you, you should have had another bed-fellow, fitter a great deal for your itch.

Wel. I thank you, lady; methought it was well. You are so curious.

Enter YOUNG LOVELESS, his Lady, MORECRAFT, SAVIL, and Serving-men.

El. Lo. Get on your doublet; here comes my brother.

Yo. Lo. Good-morrow, brother; and all good to your lady!

Mor. God save you, and good morrow to you all. El. Lo. Good morrow.-Here's a poor brother of yours.

Lady. Fie, how this shames me!

Mor. Pr'ythee, good fellow, help me to a cup of beer.

Yo. Lo. Brother, what make you here? Will this lady do? Will she? Is she not nettled still? El. Lo. No, I have cured her.-Master Welford, pray know this gentleman; he's my brother. Wel. Sir, I shall long to love him.

Yo. Lo. I shall not be your debtor, sir.-But how is't with you?

El. Lo. As well as may be, man: I am married. Your new acquaintance hath her sister; and all's well.

Yo. Lo. I am glad on't.-Now, my pretty lady sister, how do you find my brother?

Lady. Almost as wild as you are.

Yo. Lo. He'll make the better husband: You have tried him?

Lady. Against my will, sir.

Yo. Lo. He'll make your will amends soon, do not doubt it. But, sir, I must entreat you to be better known to this converted Jew here.

Re-enter Servant.

Serv. Here's beer for you, sir.

Mor. And here's for you an angel. Pray buy

no land; 'twill never prosper, sir.

El. Lo. How's this?

Yo. Lo. Bless you, and then I'll tell. He's turn'd gallant.

El. Lo. Gallant?

Yo. Lo. Ay, gallant, and is now call'd Cutting Morecraft. The reason I'll inform you at more leisure.

Wel. Oh, good sir, let me know him presently.
Yo. Lo. You shall hug one another.
Mor. Sir, I must keep you company.
El. Lo. And reason.

Yo. Lo. Cutting Morecraft, faces about; I must present another.

Mor. As many as you will, sir; I am for 'em. Wel. Sir, I shall do you service.

Mor. I shall look for't, in good faith, sir.

El. Lo. Pr'ythee, good sweetheart, kiss him.
Lady. Who? that fellow?

Sav. Sir, will it please you to remember me? My keys, good sir!

Yo. Lo. I'll do it presently.

El. Lo. Come, thou shalt kiss him for our sport sake.

Lady. Let him come on then; and, do you hear, do not instruct me in these tricks, for you may repent it.

El. Lo. That at my peril.-Lusty master Morecraft, here is a lady would salute you.

Mor. She shall not lose her longing, sir. What is she?

El. Lo. Oh, yes, you must. Mor. And you must take this ring, a poor pawn of some fifty pound.

El. Lo. Take it, by any means; 'tis lawful prize. Lady. Sir, I shall call you servant.

Mor. I shall be proud on't.-What fellow's that? Yo. Lo. My lady's coachman.

Mor. There's something, my friend, for you to buy whips; and for you, sir; and you, sir.

[Gives money to the Servants. El. Lo. Under a miracle, this is the strangest I ever heard of.

What

Mor. What, shall we play, or drink? shall we do? Who will hunt with me for a hundred pounds?

Wel. Stranger and stranger! Sir, you shall find sport after a day or two.

Yo. Lo. Sir, I have a suit unto you, concerning your old servant Savil.

El. Lo. Oh, for his keys; I know it.
Sav. Now, sir, strike in.

Mor. Sir, I must have you grant me.

El. Lo. 'Tis done, sir.-Take your keys again: But hark you, Savil; leave off the motions of the flesh, and be honest, or else you shall graze again : I'll try you once more.

Sav. If ever I be taken drunk or whoring, take off the biggest key i' th' bunch, and open my head with it, sir.-I humbly thank your worships.

El. Lo. Nay, then, I see we must keep holiday.

Enter ROGER and ABIGAIL.

Here's the last couple in hell.

Rog. Joy be amongst you all!

Lady. Why, how now, sir, what's the meaning of this emblem?

Rog. Marriage, an't like your worship.
Lady. Are you married?

Rog. As well as the next priest could do it,

madam.

COUNT CLODIO, Governor, and a dishonourable pursuer of ZENOCIA.

MANUEL DU Sosa, Governor of Lisbon, and Brother to GUIOMAR.

ARNOLDO, a Gentleman contracted to ZENOCIA.
RUTILIO, a merry Gentleman, Brother to ARNOLDO.
CHARINO, Father to Zenocia.

DUARTE, Son to GUIOMAR, a Gentleman well qualified, but vain-glorious.

ALONZO, a young Portuguezc Gentleman, enemy to DUARTE.

LEOPOLD, a Sea Captain, enamoured of HIPPOLYTA.

SCENE,

ZABULON, a Jew, Servant to HIPPOLYTA. JAQUES, Servant to SULPITIA.

ZENOCIA, Mistress to ARNOLDO, and a chaste Wife. GUIOMAR, a virtuous Lady, Mother to DUARTE. HIPPOLYTA, a rich Lady, wantonly in love with AR

NOLDO.

SULPITIA, a Bawd, Mistress of the Male-Stews.

Doctor, Chirurgeon, Officers, Guard, Page, Bravo, Knaves of the Male-Stews, Servants.

So free this work is, gentlemen, from offence
That, we are confident, it needs no defence
From us, or from the poets. We dare look
On any man, that brings his table-book
To write down what again he may repeat
At some great table, to deserve his meat.
Let such come swell'd with malice, to apply
What is mirth here, there for an injury.
Nor lord, nor lady, we have tax'd; nor state,
Nor any private person; their poor hate

Will be starved here; for Envy shall not find
One touch that may be wrested to her mind.
And yet despair not, gentlemen; the play
Is quick and witty; so the poets say,
And we believe them; the plot neat and new;
Fashion'd like those that are approved by you:
Only, 'twill crave attention in the most,
Because, one point unmark'd, the whole is lost.
Hear first then, and judge after, and be free;
And, as our cause is, let our censure be.

WE wish, if it were possible, you knew
What we would give for this night's luck, if new;
It being our ambition to delight

Our kind spectators with what's good and right.
Yet so far know, and credit me, 'twas made
By such as were held workmen in their trade;
At a time too, when they, as I divine,
Were truly merry, and drank lusty wine,
The nectar of the muses. Some are here,
I dare presume, to whom it did appear

A well-drawn piece, which gave a lawful birth
To passionate scenes, mixed with no vulgar mirth.
But unto such to whom 'tis known by fame
From others, perhaps, only by the name,

I am a suitor, that they would prepare
Sound palates, and then judge their bill of fare.
It were injustice to decry this now,

For being liked before: You may allow
(Your candour safe) what's taught in the old schools,
"All such as lived before you were not fools."

And prettily esteem'd of; but take heed then, Take heed, dear brother, of a stranger fortune Than e'er you felt yet: Fortune my foe's a friend to it.

Arn. 'Tis true, I love, dearly and truly love, A noble, virtuous, and most beauteous maid; And am beloved again.

Rut. That's too much, o' conscience! To love all these, would run me out o' my wits. Arn. Pr'ythee, give ear. I am to marry her, Rut. Dispatch it, then, and I'll go call the piper. Arn. But, oh, the wicked Custom of this Country!

The barbarous, most inhuman, damned Custom ! Rut. 'Tis true, to marry is [the most inhuman, Damn'd] custom in the world; for, look you, brother,

Would any man stand plucking for the ace of hearts,

With one pack of cards, all days on's life?

Arn. You do not,

Or else you purpose not to, understand me.
Rut. Proceed; I will give ear.

Arn. They have a Custom

In this most beastly country-out upon't!
Rut. Let's hear it first.

Arn. That when a maid's contracted,

And ready for the tie o' the church, the governor, He that commands in chief, must have her maidenOr ransom it for money, at his pleasure.

[head, Rut. How might a man achieve that place?— A rare custom!

An admirable rare custom !—And none excepted? Arn. None, none.

Rut. The rarer still! How could I lay about me, In this rare office!-Are they born to it, or chosen? Arn. Both equal damnable.

Rut. Methinks both excellent : 'Would I were the next heir!

Arn. To this mad fortune

Am I now come; my marriage is proclaim'd,

And nothing can redeem me from this mischief. Rut. She's very young?

Arn. Yes.

Rut. And fair, I dare proclaim her,

Else mine eyes fail.

Arn. Fair as the bud unblasted.

Rut. I cannot blame him then: If 'twere mine

own case,

I would not go an ace less.

Arn. Fie, Rutilio,

Why do you make your brother's misery

Your sport and game?

Rut. There is no pastime like it.

Arn. I look'd for your advice, your timely counsel,

How to avoid this blow; not to be mock'd at,
And my afflictions jeer'd.

Rut. I tell thee, Arnoldo,

An thou wert my father, as thou art but my broMy younger brother too, I must be merry. [ther, And when there is a wench i' th' case, a young

wench,

A handsome wench, and so near a good turn too,
An I were to be hang'd, thus must I handle it.
But you shall see, sir, I can change this habit
To do you any service; advise what you please,
And see with what devotion I'll attend it.
But yet, methinks, I am taken with this Custom,
And could pretend to th' place.

Enter CHARINO and ZENOCIA. Arn. Draw off a little; Here come my mistress and her father.

Rut. A dainty wench!

'Would I might farm this Custom! Char. My dear daughter,

[They retire.

Now to bethink yourself of new advice,
Will be too late; later, this timeless sorrow;
No price, nor prayers, can infringe the fate
Your beauty hath cast on you. My best Zenocia,
Be ruled by me; a father's care directs you:
Look on the count, look cheerfully and sweetly.
What though he have the power to possess you,
To pluck your maiden honour, and then slight you,
By Custom unresistable to enjoy you;
Yet, my sweet child, so much your youth and
goodness,

The beauty of your soul, and saint-like modesty,
Have won upon his wild mind, so much charm'd

him,

That, all power laid aside, what law allows him,
Or sudden fires, kindled from those bright eyes,
He sues to be your servant, fairly, nobly;
For ever to be tied your faithful husband.
Consider, my best child.

Zen. I have consider'd.

Char. The blessedness that this breeds too, consider :

Besides your father's honour, your own peace,
The banishment for ever of this Custom,
This base and barbarous use: For, after once
He has found the happiness of holy marriage,
And what it is to grow up with one beauty,
How he will scorn and kick at such an heritage,
Left him by lust, and lewd progenitors!

All virgins too shall bless your name, shall saint it,
And, like so many pilgrims, go to your shrine,
When time has turn'd your beauty into ashes,
Fill'd with your pious memory.

Zen. Good father,