POEMS

OF

SIR SAMUEL GARTH.

THE DISPENSARY,

A POEM IN SIX CANTOS.

-Hanc veniam petimusque damusque vicissim.
HOR. de Arte Poet.

CANTO I.
SPEAK, Goddess! since 'tis thou that best canst
How ancient leagues to modern discord fell; [tell,
And why physicians were so cautious grown
Of others' lives, and lavish of their own;
How by a journey to th' Elysian plain
Peace triumph'd, and old Time return'd again.
Not far from that most celebrated place,
Where angry' Justice shows her awful face;
Where little villains must submit to fate,
That great ones may enjoy the world in state; 10
There stands a dome2, majestic to the sight,
And sumptuous arches bear its oval height;
A golden globe, plac'd high with artful skill,
Seems, to the distant sight, a gilded pill:
This pile was, by the pious patron's aim,
Rais'd for a use as noble as its frame;
Nor did the learn'd society decline
The propagation of that great design;
In all her mazes, Nature's face they view'd,
And, as she disappear'd, their search pursued.
Wrapt in the shade of night the goddess lies,
Yet to the learn'd unveils her dark disguise,
But shuns the gross access of vulgar eyes.

Why bilious juice a golden light puts on,

40

And floods of chyle in silver currents run;
How the dim speck of entity began
T'extend its recent form, and stretch to man;
To how minute an origin we owe
Young Ammon, Cæsar, and the great Nassau;
Why paler looks impetuous rage proclaim,
And why chill virgins redden into flame;
Why envy oft' transforms with wan disguise,
And why gay mirth sits smiling in the eyes;
All ice why Lucrece; or Sempronia, fire;
Why Scarsdale rages to survive desire;
When Milo's vigour at th' Olympic 's shown,
Whence tropes to Finch, or impudence to Sloane;
How matter, by the vary'd shape of pores,
Or idiots frames, or solemn senators.

50

GO

Hence 'tis we wait the wondrous cause to find,
How body acts upon impassive mind;
How fumes of wine the thinking part can fire,
Past hopes revive, and present joys inspire;
Why our complexions oft our soul declare,
And how the passions in the feature are;
How touch and harmony arise between
Corporeal figure, and a form unseen;
How quick their faculties the limbs fulfil,
And act at every summons of the will;
20 With mighty truths, mysterious to descry,
Which in the womb of distant causes lie.
But now no grand inquiries are descry'd,
Mean faction reigns where knowledge should pre-
side,

30

Now she unfolds the faint and dawning strife
Of infant atoms kindling into life;
How ductile matter new meanders takes,
And slender trains of twisting fibres makes;
And how the viscous seeks a closer tone,
By just degress to harden into bone;
While the more loose flow from the vital urn,
And in full tides of purple streams return;
How lambent flames from life's bright lamps arise,
And dart in emanations through the eyes;
How from each sluice a gentle torrent pours,
To slake a feverish heat with ambient showers;
Whence their mechanic powers the spirits claim;
How great their force, how delicate their frame;
How the same nerves are fashion'd to sustain
The greatest pleasure and the greatest pain;

70

Feuds are increas'd, and learning laid aside.
Thus synods oft concern for faith conceal,
And for important nothings show a zeal:
The drooping sciences neglected pine,
And Pæan's beams with fading lustre shine.
No readers here with hectic looks are found,
Nor eyes in rheum, through midnight-watching,
The lonely edifice in sweats complains [drown'd;
That nothing there but sullen silence reigns.

80

This place, so fit for undisturb'd repose,
The god of Sloth for his asylum chose,
Upon a couch of down in these abodes,
Supine with folded arms he thoughtless nods;
Indulging dreams his godhead lull to ease,
With murmurs of soft rills, and whispering trees:
The poppy and each numbing plant dispense
Their drowsy virtue, and dull indolence;

No passions interrupt his easy reign,
No problems puzzle his lethargic brain;
But dark oblivion guards his peaceful bed,
And lazy fogs hang lingering o'er his head.

As at full length the pamper'd monarch lay,
Battening in ease, and slumbering life away;
A spiteful noise his downy chains unties,
Hastes forward, and increases as it flies.

90

First, some to cleave the stubborn 3 flint en-
Till, urg'd by blows, it sparkles into rage: [gage,
Some temper lute, some spacious vessels move;
These furnaces erect, and those approve;
Here phials in nice discipline are set,
There gallipots are rang'd in alphabet.
In this place, magazines of pills you spy;
In that, like forage, herbs in bundles lie;
While lifted pestles, brandish'd in the air,
Descend in peals, and civil wars declare,
Loud strokes, with pounding spice, the fabric
And aromatic clouds in spirés ascend. [rend,

But see how ill-mistaken parts succeed;
He threw off my dominion, and would read;
Engag'd in controversy, wrangled well;
In convocation language could excel;
In volumes prov'd the church without defence,
By nothing guarded but by Providence ;
How grace and moderation disagree;
And violence advances charity.

Thus writ till none would read, becoming soon
A wretched scribbler, of a rare buffoon.

160

170

"Mankind my fond propitious power has try'd,
Too oft to own, too much to be deny'd.
And all I ask are shades and silent bowers,
100 To pass in soft forgetfulness my hours.
Oft have my fears some distant villa chose,
O'er their quietus where fat judges dose,
And lull their cough and conscience to repose:
Or, if some cloister's refuge I implore,
Where holy drones o'er dying tapers snore,
The peals of Nassau's arms these eyes unclose,
Mine he molests, to give the world repose.
That ease I offer with contempt he flies,
His couch a trench, his canopy the skies.
Nor climes nor seasons his resolves control,
Th' equator has no heat, no ice the pole.
With arms resistless o'er the globe he flies,
And leaves to Jove the empire of the skies."
But, as the slothful God to yawn begun, 180
H shook off the dull mist, and thus went on:
""Twas in this reverend dome I sought repose,
These walls were that asylum I had chose.
Here have I rul'd long undisturb'd with broils,
And laugh'd at heroes, and their glorious toils.
My annals are in mouldy mildews wrought,
With easy insignificance of thought.
But now some busy, enterprising brain
Invents new fancies to renew my pain,
And labours to dissolve my easy reign."

So when the Cyclops o'er their anvils sweat,
And swelling sinews echoing blows repeat;
From the volcanos gross eruptions rise,
And curling sheets of smoke obscure the skies. 110
The slumbering god, amaz'd at this new din,
Thrice strove to rise, and thrice sunk down again.
Listless he stretch'd, and gaping rubb'd his eyes,
Then falter'd thus betwixt half words and sighs:
"How impotent a deity am I!

120

With godhead born, but curs'd, that cannot die!
Through my indulgence, mortals hourly share
A grateful negligence, and case from care.
Lull'd in my arms, how long have I withheld
The northern monarchs from the dusty field!
How I have kept the British fleet at ease,
From tempting the rough dangers of the seas!
Hibernia owns the mildness of my reign,
And my divinity 's ador'd in Spain.

130

I swains to sylvan solitudes convey,
Where, stretch'd on mossy beds, they waste away
In gentle joys the night, in vows the day.
What marks of wondrous clemency I've shown,
Some reverend worthies of the gown can own:
Triumphant plenty, with a cheerful grace,
Basks in their eyes, and sparkles in their face.
How sleek their looks, how goodly is their mien,
When big they strut behind a double chin!
Each faculty in blandishments they lull,
Aspiring to be venerably dull;

No learn'd debates molest their downy trance,
Or discompose their pompous ignorance;
But, undisturb'd, they loiter life away,
So wither green, and blossom in decay;

Deep sunk in down, they, by my gentle care, 140
Avoid th' inclemencies of morning air,
And leave to tatter'd crape the drudgery of

With that, the god his darling phantom calls,
And from his faltering lips this message falls:

"Since mortals will dispute my power, I'll try
Who has the greatest empire, they or I.
Find Envy out, some prince's court attend,
Most likely there you'll meet the famish'd fiend;

VARIATIONS,

Ver. 170. Sometimes among the Caspian cliffs Í

creep,

Where solitary bats and swallows sleep;
Or, if some cloister's refuge 1 implore,
Where holy drones o'er dying tapers snore,
Still Nassau's arms a soft repose deny,
Keep me awake, and follow where I fly.

Since he has bless'd the weary world with peace,
And with a nod has bid Bellona cease;
I sought the covert of some peaceful cell,
Where silent shades in harmless raptures dwell;
That rest might past tranquillity restore,
And mortal never interrupt me more.

Ver. 183. Nought underneath this roof but damps
are found,

Nought heard but drowsy beetles buzzing round.
Spread cobwebs hide the walls, and dust the floors,'
And midnight silence guards the noiseless doors.

Ver. 196. Or in cabals, or camps, or at the bar,
Or where ill poets pennyless confer,
Or in the senate-house at Westminster.

See Boileau's Lutrin.

Soon as the evening veil'd the mountains heads,
And winds lay hush'd in subterranean beds;
Whilst sickening flowers drink up the silver dew,
And beaux for some assembly dress anew;
The city saints to prayers and play-house
The rich to dinner, and the poor to rest: [haste;
Th' officious phantom then prepar'd with care
To slide on tender pinions through the air.
Oft he attempts the summit of a rock,
And oft the hollow of some blasted oak;
At length approaching where bleak Envy lay;
The hissing of her snakes proclaim'd the way.

10

60

Then blazons in dread smiles her hideous form;
So lightning gilds the unrelenting storm.
Thus she" Mankind are blest, they riot still
Unbounded in exorbitance of ill.

By devastation the rough warrior gains,
And farmers fatten most when famine reigns;
For sickly seasons the physicians wait,
And politicians thrive in broils of state;
The lover 's easy when the fair-one sighs,
And gods subsist not but by sacrifice.

"Each other being some indulgence knows:-
Few are my joys, but infinite my woes.
My present pain Britannia's genius wills,
And thus the Fates record my future ills.

70

80

"A heroine shall Albion's sceptre bear, [prayer.
With arms shall vanquish Earth, and Heaven with
She on the world her clemency shall shower,
And only to preserve exert her power.
Tyrants shall then their impious aims forbear,
And Blenheim's thunder more than Etna's fear.
"Since by no arts I therefore can defeat
The happy enterprises of the great,
Pil calmly stoop to more inferior things,
And try if my lov'd snakes have teeth or stings."
She said; and straight shrill Colon's1 person
In morais loose, but most precise in look. [took,
Black-friars' annals lately pleas'd to call
Him warden of Apothecaries-hall;
And, when so dignify'd, did not forbear
That operation which the learn'd declare
Gives colics ease, and makes the ladies fair.
201n trifling show his tinsel talent lies;

Beneath the gloomy covert of an yew,
That taints the grass with sickly sweats of dew;
No verdant beauty entertains the sight,
But baneful hemlock, and cold aconite;
In a dark grot the baleful haggard lay,
Breathing black vengeance, and infecting day,
But how deform'd, and worn with spiteful woes,
When Accius has applause, Dorsennus shows.
The cheerful blood her meagre cheeks forsook,
And basilisks sate brooding in her look;

A bald and bloated toad-stool rais'd her head;
The plumes of boding ravens were her bed:
From her chapp'd nostrils scalding torrents fall,
And her sunk eyes boil o'er in floods of gall.
Volcanos labour thus with inward pains,
While seas of melted ore lay waste the plains.
Around the fiend in hideous order sate,
Foul bawling Infamy, and bold Debate;
Gruff Discontent, through Ignorance misled,
And clamorous Faction at her party's head;
Restless Sedition still dissembling fear,
And sly Hypocrisy with pious leer.

30

Glouting with sullen spite the fury shook
Her clotted locks, and blasted with each look;
Then tore with canker'd teeth the pregnant scrolls,
Where Fame the acts of demigods enrols;
And, as the rent-records in pieces fell,
Each scrap did some immortal action tell.

40

This show'd, how fix'd as fate, Torquatus stood,
That, the fam'd passage of the Granic flood;
The Julian eagles, here, their wings display,
And there, like setting stars, the Decii lay;
This does Camillus as a god extol,
That points at Manlius in the Capitol;
How Cocles did the Tiber's surges brave,
How Curtius plung'd into the gaping grave.
Great Cyrus, here, the Medes and Persians join,
And, there, th' immortal battle of the Boyne. 50
As the light messenger the fury spy'd,
Awhile his curdling blood forgot to glide:
Confusion on his fainting vitals hung,
And faltering accents flutter'd on his tongue:
At length, assuming courage, he convey'd
His errand, then he shrunk into a shade.
The bag lay long revolving what might be
The blest event of such an embassy:

VOL. IX.

And form the want of intellects supplies.
In aspect grand and goodly he appears,
Rever'd as patriarchs in primeval years.
Hourly his learn'd impertinence affords
A barren superfluity of words;

The patient's ears remorseless he assails,
Murders with jargon where his med'cine fails.

VARIATIONS.

Ver. 60. Then she: "Alas! how long in vain have
Aim'd at these noble ills the Fates deny?
Within this isle for ever muşt I find
Disasters to distract my restless mind?
Good Tenison's celestial piety..

90

At last has rais'd him to the sacred see.
Somers does sickening equity restore,
And helpless orphans are oppress'd no more.
Pembroke to Britain endless blessings brings.
He spoke; and Peace clapp'd her triumphant

wings.

Great Orinond shines illustriously bright
With blazes of hereditary right.

The noble ardour of a royal sire
Inspires the generous breast of Devonshire.
And Macclesfield is active to defend
His country with the zeal he loves his friend.
Like Leda's radiant sons divinely clear,
Portland and Jersey deck'd in rays appear,
To gild by turns the Gallic hemisphere.
Worth in distress is rais'd by Montague;
Augustus listens if Mæcenas sue;

And Vernon's vigilance, no slumber takes,,
Whilst faction peeps abroad, and anarchy awakes,"

Ver. 95. In haste he strides along, to recompense
The want of business with its vain pretence.

Lee, an apothecary.

F F

GARTH'S POEMS.

100

The fury thus assuming Colon's grace,
So slung her arms, so shuffl'd in her pace.
Onward she hastens to the fam'd abodes,
Where Horoscope 2 invokes th' infernal gods;
And reach'd the mansion where the vulgar run,
For ruin throng, and pay to be undone.

This visionary various projects tries,
And knows that to be rich is to be wise.
By useful observations he can tell

110

The sacred charms that in true sterling dwell;
How gold makes a patrician of a slave,
A dwarf an Atlas, a Thersites brave.
It cancels all defects, and in their place
Finds sense in Brownlow, charms in lady Grace;
It guides the fancy, and directs the mind;
No bankrupt ever found a fair-one kind,

So truly Horoscope its virtues knows,
To this lov'd idol 'tis, alone, he bows;
And fancies such bright heraldry can prove,
The vile plebeian but the third from Jove.

120

Long has he been of that amphibious fry,
Bold to prescribe, and busy to apply.
His shop the gazing vulgar's eyes employs
With foreign trinkets, and domestic toys.
Here muminies lay most reverendly stale;
And there the tortoise hung her coat of mail;
Not far from some huge shark's devouring head
The flying fish their finny pinions spread;
Aloft in rows large poppy heads were strung,
And near, a scaly alligator hung;

In this place, drugs in musty heaps decay'd;
In that, dry'd bladders and drawn teeth were laid.
An inner room receives the numerous shoals 130
Of such as pay to be reputed fools.
Globes stand by globes, volumes on volumes lie,
And planetary schemes amuse the eye.
The sage, in velvet chair, here lolls at ease,
To promise future health for present fees;
Then, as from tripod, solemn shame reveals,
And what the stars know nothing of, foretels.

One asks how soon Panthea may be won,
And longs to feel the marriage-fetters on:
Others, convinc'd by melancholy proof,
Inquire when courteous fates will strike them off.
140
Some, by what means they may redress their
wrong,

150

When fathers the possession keep too long.
And some would know the issue of their cause,
And whether gold can solder up its flaws.
Poor pregnant Lais his advice would have,
To lose by art what fruitful Nature gave;
And Portia, old in expectation grown,
Laments her barren curse, and begs a son:
Whilst Iris his cosmetic wash would try,
To make her bloom revive, and lovers die.
Some ask for charms, and others philtres choose,
To gain Corinna, and their quartans lose.
Young Hylas, botch'd with stains too foul to name,
In cradle here renews his youthful frame:
Cloy'd with desire, and surfeited with charms,
A hot-house he prefers to Julia's arms.
And old Lucullus would th' arcanum prove,
Of kindling in cold veins the sparks of love.
Bleak Envy these dull frauds with pleasure sees,
And wonders at the senseless mysteries.
In Colon's voice she thus calls out aloud
On Horoscope environ'd by the croud:

161

"Forbear, forbear, thy vain amusements cease, Thy woodcocks from their gins awhile release; Dr. Baruard.

170

And to that dire misfortune listen well,
Which thou should'st fear to know, or I to tell.
'Tis true, thou ever wast esteem'd by me
The great Alcides of our company.
When we with noble scorn resolv'd to ease
Ourselves from all parochial offices;
And to our wealthier patients left the care
And draggled dignity of scavenger;
Such zeal in that affair thou didst express,
Nought could be equal, but the great success.
Now call to mind thy generous prowess past,
Be what thou should'st, by thinking what thou

wast:

The faculty of Warwick-lane design,

If not to storm, at least to undermine.

Their gates each day ten thousand night-caps

croud,

181

190

And mortars utter their attempts aloud.
If they should once unmask our mystery,
Each nurse, ere long, would be as learn'd as we;
Our art expos'd to every vulgar eye;
And none, in complaisance to us, would die.
What if we claim their right t' assassinate,
Must they needs turn apothecaries straight?
Prevent it, gods! all stratagems we try,
To crowd with new inhabitants your sky.
'Tis we who wait the Destinies' command,
To purge the troubled air, and weed the land.
And dare the college insolently aim
To equal our fraternity in fame?
Then let crabs-eyes with pearl for virtue try,
So glow-worms may compare with Titan's beams,
Or Highgate-hill with lofty Pindus vie !
And Hare-court pump with Aganippe's streams.
Our manufactures now they meanly sell,
And their true value treacherously tell;

Nay, they discover too, their spite is such, 200
That health, than crowns more valued, costs not
much;

Whilst we must steer our conduct by these rules,
To cheat as tradesmen, or to starve as fools."

At this fam'd Horoscope turn'd pale, and straight
The crowd in great confusion sought the door,
In silence tumbled from his chair of state >
And left the magus fainting on the floor;
Whilst in his breast the fury breath'd a storm,
Then sought her cell, and re-assum'd her form.
Thus from the sore although the insect flies, 210
It leaves a brood of maggots in disguise.

Officious Squirt in haste forsook his shop,
To succour the expiring Horoscope.
Oft he essay'd the magus to restore,
By salt of succinum's prevailing power;
Yet still supine the solid lumber lay,
Till Fates, indulgent when disasters call,
An image of scarce-animated clay;
By Squirt's nice hand apply'd a urinal.
The wight no sooner did the stream receive, 220
But rouz'd, and bless'd the stale restorative.
The springs of life their former vigour feel;
Such zeal he had for that vile utensil.
So when the great Pelides Thetis found,
He knew the sea-weed scent, and th' azure god-
dess own'd.

VARIATIONS.

Ver. 202. Whilst we, at our expense, must per

severe,

And for another world, be ruin'd here.

Dr. Barnard's man.

CANTO III.

ALL night the sage in pensive tumults lay,
Complaining of the slow approach of day;
Oft turn'd him round, and strove to think no more
Of what shrill Colon said the day before.
Cowslips and poppies o'er his eyes he spread,
And Salmon's works he laid beneath his head.
But those bless'd opiates still in vain he tries,
Sleep's gentle image bis embraces flies:
Tumultuous cares lay rolling in his breast,
And thus his anxious thoughts the sage exprest. 10
"Oft has this planet roll'd around the Sun,
Since to consult the skies I first begun:
Such my applause, so mighty my success,
Some granted my predictions more than guess.
But, doubtful as I am, I'll entertain
This faith, there can be no mistake in gain.
For the dull world must honour pay to those,
Who on their understanding most impose.
First man creates, and then he fears the elf;
Thus others cheat him not, but he himself;
He lothes the substance, and he loves the show;
You'll ne'er convince a fool, himself is so:
He hates realities, and hugs the cheat,
And still the only pleasure's the deceit.
So meteors flatter with a dazzling dye,
Which no existence has, but in the eye.
As distant prospects please us, but when near
We find but desert rocks and fleeting air;
From stratagem to stratagem we run,
And he knows most, who latest is undone.

"Mankind one day serene and free appear; The next, they're cloudy, sullen, and severe: New passions new opinions still excite;

20

30

And what they like at noon they leave at night.
They gain with labour what they quit with ease;
And health, for want of change, becomes disease.
Religion's bright authority they dare,
And yet are slaves to superstitious fear.
They counsel others, but themselves deceive;
And though they 're cozen'd still, they still believe.
"So false their censure, fickle their esteem, 41
This hour they worship, and the next blaspheme.
"Shall I then, who with penetrating sight
Inspect the springs that guide each appetite;
Who with unfathom'd searches hourly pierce
The dark recesses of the universe;

Be aw'd, if puny emmets would oppress;
Or fear their fury, or their name caress?
If all the fiends that in low darkness reign
Be not the fictions of a sickly brain,
That prospect, the Dispensary they call,
Before the Moon can blunt her horns, shall fall."
With that, a glance from mild Aurora's eyes

50

Shoots through the crystal kingdoms of the skies.
The savage kind in forests cease to roam,

Fly with what haste you us'd to do of old,
When clyster was in danger to be cold;
With expedition on the beadle call,
To summon all the company to th' Hall.'
Away the friendly coadjutor flies,
Swift as from phial steams of harts-horn rise.
The magus in the interim mumbles o'er
Vile terms of art to some infernal power,
And draws mysterious circles on the floor.
But from the gloomy vault no glaring spright
Ascends, to blast the tender bloom of light.
No mystic sounds from Hell's detested womb
In dusky exhalations upwards come.
And now to raise an altar he decrees,
To that devouring harpy call'd Disease:
Then flowers in canisters he hastes to bring,
The wither'd product of a blighted spring';
With cold solanum from the Pontic shore,
The roots of mandrake and black hellebore;
The griper senna, and the puker rue,
The sweetener sassafras, are added too;
And on the structure next he heaps a load
Of sulphur, turpentine, and mastic wood;
Gums, fossils too, the pyramids increas'd;
A mummy next, once monarch of the east;
Then from the compter he takes down the file,
And with prescriptions lights the solemn pile.

Feebly the flames on clumsy wings aspire,
And smothering fogs of smoke benight the fire.
With sorrow he beheld the sad portent,
Then to the hag these orisons he sent:

70

80

90

96

"Disease! thou ever most propitious power,
Whose kind indulgence we discern each hour! 100
Thou well canst boast thy numerous pedigree,
Begot by Sloth, maintain'd by Luxury.

In gilded palaces thy prowess reigns,
But flies the humble sheds of cottage swains.
To you such might and energy belong,
You nip the blooming, and unnerve the strong.
The purple conqueror in chains you bind,
And are to us your vassals only kind.

"If, in return, all diligence we pay
To fix your empire, and confirm your sway, 110
Far as the weekly-bills can reach around,
From Kent-street end, to fam'd St. Giles's pound;
Behold this poor libation with a smile,
And let auspicious light break through the pile."
He spoke; and on the pyramid he laid
Bay-leaves and vipers-hearts, and thus he said:
"As these consume in this mysterious fire,
So let the curs'd Dispensary expire!
And as those crackle in the flames, and die,.
So let its vessels burst, and glasses fly!"
But a sinister cricket straight was heard;
The altar fell, the offering disappear'd.
As the fam'd wight the omen did regret,

And sots, o'ercharg'd with nauseous loads, reel Squirt brought the news the company was met.

home; [pair, Drums, trumpets, hautboys, wake the slumbering Whilst bridegroom sighs, and thinks the bride less fair; [spread, Light's cheerful smiles o'er th' azure waste are And Miss from inns of court bolts out unpaid; 60 The sage, transported at th' approaching hour, Imperiously thrice thunder'd on the floor; Officious Squirt that moment had access, His trust was great, his vigilance no less. To him thus Horoscope:

"My kind companion in this dire affair, Which is more light, since you assume a share;

120

Nigh where Fleet-ditch descends in sable
streams,

To wash his sooty Naiads in the Thames;
There stands a structure on a rising hill,
Where Tyros take their freedom out to kill.
How, by the Delian god, the Python fell;
Some pictures in these dreadful shambles tell,
180
And how Medea did the philtre brew,
That could in Æson's veins young force renew;

VARIATIONS.

Ver. 101. Thou that would'st lay whole states and regions waste,

Sooner than we, thy cormorants, should fast,