CHAPTER VIII

MARRIAGE CUSTOMS

Life to-day, no less than in the past, is made brighter for the Caveman by examples of symbolization that we scarcely recognize as such. These acts satisfy our unconscious desires for primitive expression, often without the least conscious inkling of their real underlying significances. For instance, we throw rice and old shoes at newlyweds without comprehending the true meaning of the act. Consciously we are following an established custom, but unconsciously we are doing something more important. We are giving expression in a symbolical way to a wish that is quite appropriate for the occasion, but which our conventional ethics would not permit us to express in a more direct way.

M

-WILLIAM J. FIELDING.

THE ANTIQUITY OF HUMAN MARRIAGE

ARRIAGE is one of the oldest and most sacred of human institutions. It emerges from the long shadow of prehistory and silhouettes itself against the blackness of savage life like a sun in a cloudshrouded sky.

Writers of authority, such as Bachofen, Morgan, Lubbock, McLennan, Bastian, Wilken, and others, are of the opinion that man lived at first in a state of promiscuity. That is, the earliest men and women had no bond to unite them except the fact that they lived together. They had no higher marriage sense than the animals.

On the other hand, Westermarck, whose "History of Human Marriage" is one of the finest discussions ever written on this subject, declares that there is not a shred of genuine evidence to prove that simple promiscuity ever prevailed. There was, of course, a time when there was no man-made marriage ceremony; but in the actual union of man and woman in early life there was latent the idea of marriage.

We are inclined to believe that men, from the very first,

were on a higher plane than the animals, and that marriage in its truer sense has existed since the very beginning of time. Its origin seems to us coeval with the origin of man, and its development follows in the footsteps of man's development.

But marriage in the sense of binding together by manmade law or ceremony is another thing. This marriage grew out of external conditions, and was precipitated by certain very definite circumstances influencing the daily life of man.

Early Sexual Relations.-We cannot attempt to discuss at any great length the sexual relations of mankind at the remote period of life's beginning. Nothing very definite is known; we can only theorize and conjecture, as so many have done before us. Yet the earliest relations of men and women had so tremendous an influence upon the later habits and customs of life that we dare not leave the subject untouched.

In the very earliest times, if promiscuity existed at all, it probably did not exist for any very great length of time. We know that it never formed a general stage in the social history of mankind. It could not have been a common or general state, for reasons which will presently be set forth.

From what is known of the jealousy of all male quadrupeds in matters relating to sex, it is very unlikely that early man would have been satisfied to share his woman with other men. He would have preferred to live with one woman who belonged to him alone, than to live promiscuously and share his women.

According to the famous old Thlinket myth, the jealousy of man is older than the world itself. This myth tells us that there was an age when men groped in the dark searching for the world. They knew it existed, but they did not know where it was or how to find it. During this age a Thlinket lived with his wife and sister; and he was so insanely jealous of his wife that he killed all his sister's children because they dared to look at her.

But even jealousy could not have played so large a part in sexual relations as the natural attraction of one certain woman for one man. As Westermarck says, "I am strongly of opinion that the tie which joins male and female is an instinct developed through the powerful influence of natural selection." This influence undoubtedly played a large part in establishing monogamy.

At this point it may be useful to define certain terms that will be used constantly throughout this chapter.

Monogamy means the marriage of one man to one woman, marriage as it exists in modern civilized life.

Polygamy means one man but several women in the marriage union— in other words, more than one wife.

Polyandry is the exact opposite-several men but only one woman. Exogamy relates to the law prohibiting marriage between persons of the same blood or stock as incest.

Endogamy is the opposite law, prohibiting marriage with any persons except those of the same blood or stock.

It is interesting to note how various existing conditions in widely separated parts of the globe induced habits of life. For instance, where there was a scarcity of women, polyandry flourished. Where there were many more women than men, polygamy was the custom.

Why Man Became Monogamous.-Man appears originally to have practised polygamy. If he saw a woman hè wanted, he took her. Possibly three or four women lived with one man at one time. The woman was a captive before she was a wife.

But while this may have been the state of existence among various wandering tribes or even among a great body of people, it is easy to see why polygamy could not have survived as a universal and general thing. In the first place, conditions all over the world-the world of that time-were not the same. Some peoples practised infanticide, killing chiefly the female infants. This resulted in a scarcity of women. Among other savage peoples, constantly at war with each other, there would be a scarcity of men in proportion to the women.

This disproportion between sexes would lead at first to polygamy or polyandry, according to the direction in which the pendulum swung. But later it would tend to turn man toward monogamy. The woman would try to hold the affections of one man so as to be assured of his protection and a constant supply of food. This would give her an advantage in a community where men were scarce. Taking the opposite angle, the man would want to be assured of at least one woman whom he would not have to share, in a community where women were scarce. Thus would evolve the idea of one woman for one man, one man for one

woman.

However, there seems to be no doubt that the child was the greatest impetus toward monogamy. As Andrew Lang indicates, "The family is the most sacred of human institutions." Among many savage peoples even to-day the marriage is not solemnized until the first child is born, and if no child is born the man is at perfect liberty to leave the

woman.

Even among the lower animals the natural instinct to protect the young and supply food for the subsistence of the young is strong. In primitive life it must have been the tie which bound man to one cave, one woman, one home.

In the first flush of passion, let us suppose, man found a home for himself where he would be safe with his woman. -where no stronger fellow would be able to steal her from him. He probably discovered a cave for himself, advantageously situated on a hill or in a grotto; and here he would bring his bride. He would roll a stone against the entrance at night to keep out wild beasts. He would contrive in various crude ways to make his little home a stronghold, entirely protected from invasion by either man or beast.

To this home the man would return after the hunt, knowing that he would find his woman safe, and that he himself would be in safety. Here, probably, a child or two would be born, and the man would begin to find pleasure

in coming home to those who waited for him eagerly. He would bring queer shells for the young to play with, food for the woman to cook, ornaments for himself. And he would be happy.

So potent is habit, that the man would not think of wandering off in search of another woman-would not dream of leaving the little stronghold he had built, the home he had come to know and depend upon. Thus the family would become an important factor in his life—and monogamy would enter the social life of even the most primitive peoples.

Morality enters into a discussion of the sexual relations, although in a minor sense. We have already discovered the high morality that existed among primitive men (see p. 169). There are numerous people to-day, whom we would consider otherwise savage and barbarous, among whom intercourse out of wedlock is rare and unchastity on the part of either man or woman looked upon as a disgrace and even a crime.

Morality may have had a little to do with the ultimate establishing of monogamy; but we doubt whether it actu ally helped induce it. Selfishness and jealousy; the fear of being forced to fight to keep three or four wives when another fellow hadn't any; disproportion between the sexes; perhaps even scarcity of food; most certainly the powerful influence of natural selection; and finally the child and the family these are the outstanding causes that led to monogamy.

As we proceed with the study of marriage in all its many phases you will recognize certain other factors which helped to strengthen monogamy in the march through time.

The Ceremonious Aspect of Marriage.-We can understand why man came to celebrate marriage and make of it a ceremony. It was a change from one mode of life to another. It was the throwing aside of childhood and of sexlessness. To the primitive mind it was one of the most important changes in life, and it was dramatized accord