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in a pea-coat, with his hands buried in the pockets thereof, staring in the face of the Dons whom he meeteth (and he meeteth them purposely), and whistling an insubordinate kind of a ditty, to indicate his defiance of them. He procureth him a fiddle, and goeth round in the dead of night, tweaking the cat-gut in every staircase of the College, by which he bringeth a very unpleasant scrape upon himself as well as his somnolent hearers. He delighteth in incurring the displeasure of the College authorities, and setting at nought the penalties imposed. When "gated to six o'clock" for a week, he systematically absenteth himself from his College until one; and when asked for his imposition, coolly sendeth word to the Dean that he hath not yet received it from his amanuensis. And the Pestilent Freshman continueth his obnoxious career until he either findeth that College is not the place wherein to display school tricks, or getteth a serious warning from the Master and Seniors, or taketh more to his books and less to his jokes, or groweth grave by discovering that College Examinations are “no jokes;” or, in fine (which is usually the case), findeth it expedient to post off to Oxford, to kick his heels there, and practise waggery upon the Dean of Christ Church, or similar deserving objects.

NO. VIII.

THE MUSICAL FRESHMAN.

The Musical Freshman we do incline to classify as a distinct species, although considered by most Freshmanologists as perfectly identical with the Pestilent Freshman. Moreover, we do deem it vastly essential to pourtray the genuine Musical Freshman accurately, seeing that there be no small number of pretenders, or sham Musical Freshmen; for, verily, most Freshmen, if asked, will arrogate unto themselves that popular appellation. The genuine Musical Freshman, then, is generally likewise a home-bred, as well as a pestilent, Freshman; music being an "extra" rarely taught (except by the birch rod) in schools. He may be known by having his rooms crammed like an Egyptian catacomb with a peculiar kind of lumber, strongly resembling mummy cases, and containing the bodies of defunct fiddles and superannuated wind instruments. He always sporteth a pianoforte, and seldom less than four flutes, wherewith he keepeth up such a perpetual “pother o'er the heads” of the unhappy students underneath, as to compel them two or three times a week to fire pistols up their chimneys as a counterblast to the hideous annoyance. He never goeth to hear the sacred music in the college chapels (pronouncing it "execrable"); but invariably payeth his seven-and-sixpence to hear Italian ditties squalled, and slip-slop fantasias attempted, at concerts, upon which he delivereth elaborate critiques to his admiring friends for a month afterwards. He is perpetually humming and whistling tunes, at the end of which he ejaculateth “splendid thing that!" or “sweet air this !” He hath a whole library of obsolete music, which he palmeth off as a “glorious collection,” though he knoweth not the contents of one-tenth, he having purchased them great bargains at salės. He ordereth coffee and fiddles for four, for the purpose of favouring the whole court with what he is pleased to dignify by the name of a

“quartett;" after which he inflicteth on the company an “original" composition of his own, which (albeit it smelleth strongly of plagiarisms from Jem Crow and the Dead March in Saul) is nevertheless highly applauded. In his second term the Musical Freshman becometh emboldened to hang out a “septett” in the same style; wherein No. 1 puffeth the flute, No. 2 punisheth the pianoforte, No. 3 tweaketh the fiddle, No. 4 pummeleth the drum, No. 5 murdereth the violincello, No. 6 grunteth on the bassoon, and No. 7 playeth variations with his closed hand in imitation of the French horn ; when the Dean unhappily breaketh in upon them, and gateth the drummer, as a public nuisance, for a month, and the rest for a week each, desiring them severally not to be so unpleasantly musical for the future.

NO. IX.

THE SPORTING FRESHMAN.

Of Sporting Freshmen there be annually imported many from the country into the University. They being usually high-breds, we do therefore incline to consider them as a cross breed between the Fast Freshman and the Home Freshman, though partaking mostly of the former character. The genuine Sporting Freshman doth of necessity keep him one horse at the least, with the paraphernalia, or rattletraps whereof he not unfrequently garnisheth the walls of his room, thereby assimilating it as far as possible unto a stable; which interesting illusion he heighteneth by a judicious disposition of whips, spurs, hunting pictures, racing cards, and similar miscellaneous nickknackery pertaining unto horsemanship, besides many guns, fishingrods, and other rural vanities. Indeed we did personally know one very sporting Freshman, who kept his hunting-saddle and leather breeches constantly on his book-shelf. The Sporting Freshman knoweth the pedigree of every horse, and the name of every black-legs, at Newmarket, of the latter, indeed, he sometimes knoweth to his cost more than the mere names. He never toucheth a book of any kind by any chance or under any circumstances; his governor, the Squire, having assured him that he never learned how to worm a dog or sit in a saddle from Arrian or Xenophon, and therefore opineth that his hopeful son will not feel the want of them either,-indeed he rather questioneth whether those worthies knew too much about the matter. As to Euclid, he shrewdly abjureth it; most wisely concluding that a man of spirit wanteth no straight lines except those which he cutteth across country, and no circles beyond such as are described round a race-course. For divinity-why he never so much as goeth near a church except in a steeple-chase. He is constantly talking vociferously at dinner-time, to a party of “sporting birds,” about the old mare, or the bay colt, or the grey filly, or the chesnut something ; and recounteth to them what and who he met in his ride that morning, with every particular (saving and excepting the precise number of posts he ran against, or of tumbles he got). He is soon well known

at all the livery-stables, where he rnnneth many bills up, and many horses down. He indulgeth likewise in shooting in a small way, going out and scaring the blackbirds most magnanimously, but not as yet venturing to pop at more aspiring game, lest he should himself be popped upon by certain obnoxious keepers in the neighbourhood, which verily would be no game at all. He always weareth a cut-away coat, and red or green shawl by way of choaker. He even sporteth a red coat in his second term, which unlawful vestment being quickly pounced upon by the Tutor, is sent home to the governor, as a notification that the owner is afflicted with a severe scarlet fever, and as a proof of his advancement in polite letters: whereupon the said governor immediately sendeth it back to the son, commending his good taste, and telling him that health, air, and exercise are worth all musty, fusty Greek books and rubbishing mathematics in the University, or the universe either,-in which old-fashioned opinion of the governor we assuredly do most particularly coincide.

Ohe, jam satis.

TO THE AVON.

Fairest of rivers, Avon, roll along
In softest course—the theme of many a song !
Though on thy verdant bank and willowy shore
Thy own sweet SHAKSPEARE sings, alas ! no more;
And, where the Muses loved with him to stray,
To list and learn their Poet's heavenly lay,
To his wild notes to tune the watchful lyre,
And catch from him an all immortal fire,
Each shady bower-each lonely, fairy spot,
Are now deserted all, unknown, forgot ;-
Still'd though that harp which angels loved to hear,
Silent that voice which zephyrs strove to bear,
Hush'd though that tongue which charm'd a ravish'd world,
Low laid that lip with proudest genius curl'd,-
Still thou art beauteous !_On thy wave-worn shore
Though fairies dance in lightest maze no more,
Yet oft the wanderer's eye may there behold
E'en brighter beings of an earthly mould :
With crystal waters and with loveliest green
Still anxious Nature decks her favourite scene,
Plants the pale willow and each sweetest flower
Along those banks where Shakspeare mused of yore;
And all that's bright and beautiful adorns
The spot where she her much-loved Poet mourns :-
Where wondering nations haste to bow the head,
Let fall the tear-drop o'er the mighty dead,
And cry,—with feelings mix'd of awe and pain,
- We ne'er shall look upon his like again !"

P.

A (VERY) FREE IMITATION OF THE FIRST ECLOGUE

OF VIRGIL.*

DIALOGUE BETWEEN SMART AND WALKER, TWO CANTABS,

B.A. OF A FEW MONTHS' STANDING.

SCENE- The Walks.

WALKER.

You lie reclined, friend Smart, at ease
Beneath these old wide-spreading trees,
And calmly sum, embow'r'd in shade,
Your profits from your pupils made;
But I, poor dog, obliged to start
To-morrow from fair Learning's mart,
Forth froin my college studies hurld,
Am turn'd adrift upon the world,
While you in literary leisure
Can in these gardens take your pleasure,
And con with cool untroubled eye
The mysteries of x and y.

SMART.

E'en so, friend Walker, as you see,
Thanks to my capital degree !
To mathematics, as you know,
My fame and fellowship I owe;
(And long shall shine my glory's taper,
Lit by the Cambridge Tripos paper) -
Hence with the Dons I daily dine,
In Combination-room sip wine.

WALKER.

I trust to keep all envy under,
And yet must own you raise my wonder ;
So many of the men I know
Were " fummox'd” at the last great-go;
E’en I, the young hope of my college,
In spite of all my skill and knowledge,
Was well-nigh gulf'd, unlucky loon,
And lighted on the wooden spoon.
I might have look'd for this disaster,
Remembering how my cross old master
Said, “ You'll do better when you're older,”
And wish'd it-over his left er,
Winking the while with malice sly :-

But how came you to stand so high? * The precise date of this translation is uncertain-consequently it is unknown to which year's Tripos Mr. Walker belongs.

SMART,

I used to fancy, like a fool,
Cambridge was like the country school
Where I long since spent many a day,
In boyish tasks and boyish play.
I thought the University
Of course must somewhat larger be:
A dog is large, a puppy small-
In size they differ—that is all !-
So till I hither came-no later-
I thought !_but with great Alma Mater,
Blessing and glory of our nation,
The minor seats of education
Can no more stand comparison
Than can a Whig with Wellington.

WALKER, True, Smart-but say (you won't se), What first to college turn’d your views ?

SMART.

When my first pair of whiskers curl'd,
I thought 'twas time to see the world,
So left my master in the lurch,
And took my leave of tasks and birch ;
For I was eager to be free
From school and all its drudgery,
Where, plod however I might plod,
I work'd for nothing but the rod.

WALKER.

And so you bade to school adieu,
Although the master's fruit for you
Hung on the trees, a tempting prey ;
To school where your initials may,
Carved by your pocket-knife, I ween,
On desks and benches still be seen.

SMART.

What could I better, () my friend,
Than hitherward my footsteps bend ?
Here first to Optics, Hydrostatics,
And the whole range of Mathematics,
In earnest I gave up my mind,
And now the rich reward I find;
At yearly audit I my share
May claim, and feast on Fellows' fare.

WALKER.

Ah lucky dog! in learned pride,
In college you may still reside,
Unplagued by what your friends befals
Far exiled from old Granta's walls :
Of beef and mutton you your fill
May eat, and dread no butcher's bill.
Ah lucky dog! you still may dream
Nigh sluggish Cam's familiar stream-

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