thought that people should be hung to a moment, for fear his tea should cool; like the stupid old politician in Stevens's Lecture, who imagined that soldiers were bound to be knocked on the head as often as possible, simply that he might read an account of the circumstance in the newspapers. An odd affair, somewhat similar, occurred two weeks ago, though the likeness, no doubt, is merely in the strange turn of expression. An account of a horrid murder at Barnet was sent to an evening newspaper, which seemed as ferocious and as well au thenticated as the most veteran police student could desire; but alas! so fallacious is human happiness, it turned out to have been a mere piece of Irish pugilism, in which neither of the real belligerents was much burt; but the wife of one of them got either a black eye, or two black eyes. Historians, I think, differ as to this important point. However, the drollery of this national catastrophe, in which an innocent third party proved to be the greatest sufferer, was considered by no means a sufficient compensation for the loss of the sentimental Christmas pudding on which his Majesty's romantic lieges had fondly hoped to banquet for the remainder of the holidays at least, including the time necessary for the culprit's apprehension and committal; then, too, there was his execution, and the probability of his killing a tornkey in an attempt to escape; to say nothing of that delicious catering to rational curiosity, the indispensable exposure of his relatives and connexions-such as his aunt, on the mother's side, we understand, is a respectable washerwoman at Gosport; and they do say (but for this we cannot vouch) that he has a second cousin who formerly kept the Black Boy in Dublin, but is now, we are credibly assured, a re

spectable pawnbroker at Liverpool, &c. &c. Of all these tit-bits, we say, the police dilettanti, who will give the world for a tender sensation, were most nefariously and cru elly deprived. In this dilemma, the poor reporter who furnished the account to the newspaper, might have sheltered himself under the story of the Grecian citizen, who arriving first at home from a battle in which his countrymen had been defeated, boldly reported that they had gained a complete victory; and when he was called to account for the deception, very coolly inquired, Well, and ought you not to thank me for giving you two days happiness? This precedent might have answered in the case of a mere burglary, or even as to a fatal duel, in the height of summer, but the offence of palming off a rich bit of fictitious downright homicide at this season of the year (particularly when the supposed offender was an Irishman), was not so easily to be got over. The reporter, there fore, was obliged to apologize; and the manner in which he did it was, I think, as characteristic as anything in Shakespeare. These are the very words: Sir-It is with extreme regret I have to contradict the report of a murder at Barnet, &c. He then proceeds to relate how the unfortunate mistake origi nated; the process of which reminds me of the little boy's story of five hundred cats in the washhouse, which at last dwindled down to our cat and another.'-Here is the affecting ineident of a poor Irishman, assassinhted in his bed; with a wound in his throat as long as his mouth (that is to say, from ear to ear); and at last, when the pitiful, sneaking truth comes out (I am shocked while I write it) it appears we must put up with a paltry black eye, received by a lady, who had superintended the

T

THE JEW OUTWITTED.

A Sailor once, his pockets filled with gold,
Having oft heard the sights of London told,
Determin'd that the joys of town he'd
taste,

And thither go with all convenient haste;
But first he says, 'Avast, and let me see,
What though I am inclined a fool to be,
Shiver my timbers if I throw away
My cash, and save none for a rainy day;
In vain to Portsmouth I may try to steer
Without the comfort of a drop of beer-
On rocks and quicksands I may chance to
run,

And founder in the midst of all my fun! Stop, splice my mainsails, if I've not a thought,

Which, if I'm cast away, may yield support.'

Inspired by grog, he makes no longer stay, But mounts the upper deck and sails away. The stage drives on-now to change horses stays,

While Jack with pride his purse of gold

surveys:

'Bring me a glass of grog!" he loudly cries, The waiter on the errand briskly flies; Sly Jack the landlord takes aside alone, And thus begins his tale in under tone:'I'm on a cruise to town, d'ye hear, my friend,

And to cast anchor some short time intend;

But should I chance somehow to run agrouud,

I then immediately am homeward bound;
But that, d'ye see, no evil may betide,
I for my voyage back will thus provide→
I'll pay you double now for all I have,
And a secure return by this means savé; í

amaze,

"Not for one single thing this sailor pays;
I do not understand why for is dat,
Unless dere be some witchcraft in dat hat;
If I could get dat hat what would I give,
'Twould keep me all the days vat I shall
live.'

At length, in under voice, to Jack he said,
Dat is a shabby hat upon you head;
Now I'll sell you a new one, if you please,
If you and I for dat old hat agrees;

Vat vill you take ?'-Jack plainly saw his aim,

And said, 'If you will give what I shall

name,

The hat is yours-you see it's use, no doubt

So either give my price or go without; You've got a watch, I want one, give me that,

And for ten pounds beside I'll sell the hat.' What!' cried the Jew, eh, vere's your conscience gone?

Ten pounds for that old shabby hat alone.' 'Ten pounds,' bawls Jack, and just what I have said,

Or damme, if the hat comes off my head.' The Jew gave the watch, besides ten pounds,

And scarcely could he keep his joy in

bounds;'

Determined he will end his journey there; At the first inn he stops and takes a chair, Here, waiter, here! he bawls, 'I want to dine,

Make haste and bring a bottle of good wine;

OF

IN

A

A poor Peasant in the East Indies had raised a stock of 500 dollars among his friends and neighbours, and was on his way to Mocha, to lay it out in merchandize proper for the parts he lived in. villain, who knew of his journey, and the stock he carried, way-laid him, and after inhumanly cutting his throat, stabbed him in the breast with his dagger, and so possessed himself of the money and made off with it. Some passengers coming that way shortly after, discovered the mangled corse of the poor peasant, and immediately informed the neighbourhood of the tragedy. The body was soon identified by the murdered peasant's relatives, and the utmost vigilance used to trace out the murderer.

No. 99.-N. S.

Some months after, one of the relations being at Mocha, chanced to see his dead kinsman's ring on the murderer's finger, and challenged it; for it is the custom of all the eastern countries, both the Mahometans and Gentiles, to wear rings. They wear no gold rings, but silver, among the Mahometans, and the Gentiles commonly wear gold. The person who recognized the ring, gave information to the Cadjee, or Judge, of the circumstance, who immediately ordered the murderer to be apprehended and brought before him. On searching him, to discover if any farther proof could be adduced against him, the very purse that contained the money was found concealed in his bosom. However the murderer solemnly protested his in