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Tothil-fialde. 8 April, 17790

I am alive and she is dead. I shot her, and not myself. Some of her blood and brains is still upon my cloaths. . I don't ask you to speak to me, I don't ak you to look at me. Only come hither, and bring me a little poison ; such as is strong enough. Upon my knees, I beg, if your friendship for me ever was fincere, do, de, bring me some poison.

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Your note just now; and the long letter I received at the same time, which should have found me the day bfore yesterday, have changed my resolution. The K2


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promise you desire, I most folemnly give you.

I will make no attempt upon my life. Had I received your comfortable letter when you meant I should. I verily do not think this would have happened.

Pardon what I wrote to you about the poison. Indeed I am too composed for any such thing now. Nothing should tempt me. My death is all the recompence I can make to the laws of my country. Dr. V.. has sent ine some excellent advice, and Mr. H. has refuted all my false arguments. Even such a being as I finds friends.

Oh, that my feelings and his feelings would let me see my dearest friend. Then I would tell you how this happened.



To the Same.

Newgate, 14 April, 1779.

My best thanks for all your goodness since this day se'nnight.

Oh, Charles, this is about the time. I cannot write.

My trial comes on either Friday or Saturday. It will be indeed a trial. God (whom I have so outraged) can alone tell how I shall go through it. My resolution is not fixed as yet about pleading guilty: The arguments by which they tell me I may escape that death so much my due, I certainly will not suffer to be used. My present situation of mind you may collect from the enclosed copy of what I mean to say, if I continue in the resolution, in which I yesterday wrote you word I was, of pleading not guilty.


“ My “ My Lord,

I should not have troubled the Court with the examination of witnesses to support the charge against me, had I not thought the pleading guilty to the indictment would give an indication of contemning death, not suitable to my present condition ; and would, in some measure, make me acceffary to a second peril of my life. And I likewise thought that the justice of my country ought to be fatisfied, by suffering my offences to be proved, and the fact to be established by evidence.

I stand here the most wretched of human beings! and confefs myself criminal in a high degree. I acknowledge with shame and repentance that my determination against my owu life was formal and complete. I proteft, with that regard to truth which becomes my fituation, that the will to destroy her, who was ever dearer to me than life, was never mine until a momentary frenzy overcame me, and induced me to commit the deed I deplore.—The letter which I meant for my brother-in-law, after my decease, will have its due weight, as to this point, with good men.

Before this dreadful act, I truft, nothing will be found in the tenor of my life, which the commoni charity of mankind will not readily excuse. I have no wish to avoid the punishment which the laws of my country appoint for my crime; but, being already too unhappy to feel a punifliment in death, or a fatisfaction in life, I submit myself to the disposal and judgment of Almighty God, and to the consequences of this enquiry into my conduct and intention."


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Whatever the world may think, you, I know, believe that I had no intention against her till the very inftant. The account I wrote to you of the shocking business since it happened, was the real truth. All Tuesday, after I had finished my letter to you, I in vain fought for an opportunity to destroy myself in her presence. So, again, on the Wednesday, all the morning. In the afternoon, after dining at poor B.'s, I saw Lord S.'s coach pass by. the Cannon Coffee-house, where I was watching for it. I followed it to G.'s (inhuman, and yet not guilty G. !) From her house I faw it take them to the play. Now, I was determined ; and went to my lodgings, for my pistols, where I wrote a letter to B. which I put into my pocket, intending to send it ; but, as I forgot it, the letter was found there. When I returned to


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