54 A FAITHFUL PUBLIC course. I would even myself play my part in, any innocent buffooneries to divert them. tyrant for their amusement. But I never will act the If they will mix malice in their sports, I shall never consent to throw them any living, sentient creature whatsoever; no, not so much as a kitling to torment. But, if I profess all this impolitic stubbornness, I may chance to lose my election. It is certainly not pleasing to be put out of the public service. But I wish to be in office so as to have my share of doing good and resisting evil. It would, therefore, be absurd to renounce my objects in order to obtain my seat. I deceive myself indeed most grossly, if I had not much rather pass the remainder of my life hidden in the recesses of the deepest obscurity, feeding my mind even with the visions and the imaginations of such things, than to be placed on the most splendid throne of the universe, tantalized with a denial of the practice of all which can make the greatest situation any other than the greatest curse. Gentlemen, I have had my day. I can never sufficiently express my gratitude to you for having set me in a place wherein I could lend the slightest help to great and laudable designs. If I have had my share in any measure in giving quiet to private property and private conscience; if, by my vote, I have aided in securing to families the best possessions, peace; if I have joined in reconciling kings to their subjects and subjects to their prince; if I have taught the citizen to look for his protection to the laws of his country, and for his comfort to the good will of his countrymen; if I have thus taken my part POOR MAN AND FIEND. 55 with the best of men in the best of their actions, I can shut the book I might wish to read a page or two more but this is enough for my measure -I have not lived in vain. And now, gentlemen, on this serious day, when I come as it were to make up my account with you, let me take to myself some honest pride on the nature of the charges that are against me. I do not stand here before you accused of venality or of neglect of duty. It is not said, that in the long period of my service I have in a single instance sacrificed the slightest of your interests to my ambition or to my fortune. It is not alleged that to gratify any anger or revenge of my own or of my party, I have had a share in wronging or oppressing any description of men, or any one man in any description. No! The charges against me are all of one kind that I have pushed the principles of general justice and benevolence too far; farther than a cautious policy would warrant. In every accident which may happen through life, in pain, in sorrow, in depression, and distress, I will call to mind this accusation and be comforted. 25. THE POOR MAN AND THE FIEND. A FIEND once met a humble man At night, in the cold, dark street, And led him into a palace fair, Where music circled sweet; And light and warmth cheered the wanderer's heart, From frost and darkness screened, 56 POOR MAN AND FIEND. Till his brain grew mad beneath the joy, Ah! well if he ne'er had knelt to that Fiend, And he said, "One half of thy life on earth And when, from rising till set of sun, Thou hast toiled in the heat or snow, Let thy gains on mine altar an offering be;" The poor man had health, more dear than gold; Stout bone and muscle strong, That neither faint nor weary grew, To toil the June day long; And the Fiend, his god, cried hoarse and loud, "Thy strength thou must forego, Or thou no worshipper art of mine; And the poor man ne'er said, "No!" Three children blessed the poor man's home The Fiend beheld their sweet blue eyes, I want an evening sacrifice;" And the poor man ne'er said, "No!" A young wife sat by the poor man's fire, Had gilded his sorrow, and brightened his joys, His guardian, friend, and guide. OFFICE-SEEKER'S PLATFORM. Foul fall the Fiend! he gave command, 'Come, mix the cup of woe, Bid thy young wife drain it to the dregs; Oh! misery now for this poor man! Next the Fiend his godlike Reason took, IIe pilfered his Soul also; And marvel of marvels! he murmured not: The poor man ne'er said, "No!". Now, men and matrons in your prime, Come listen, with soul as well as ear, O, listen! till your brain whirls round, In a Christian land all this befell; And the name of the Fiend was - DRINK ! 57 26. THE OFFICE-SEEKER'S PLATFORM. No O man can be truly great without money, and the easiest way to get money is to take it on every occasion, no matter whose it may be. I mean to be truly great. It is safe to say, the way society is now constituted, that an honest man is a fool; and if a knave is not the noblest work of God, then what is he? I 58 OFFICE-SEEKER'S PLATFORM. think that is very well put — what is he? Look at him as he moves in the highest circles of society, swaggers along the sidewalk, talks of stocks, bonds, and mortgages, and boasts his untold wealth, and say, what is he? As for me, I mean to move in the highest circles of society. I am going to Congress to make money. I shall refuse no bribe, and shut my eyes to corruption. I care nothing for my constituents; let them look out for themselves. That is their business; my business is to get money, and be truly great, and move in the highest circles of society. Honesty is the best policy for everybody but me. Not I. it. I'll none of I do not purpose to steal from any private individual, and make myself answerable to the laws; but if any man wants a job put through, by which the people can be robbed, and a large share of the plunder find its way into my pocket, you may count on me. I am not a common ruffian; I am a high-toned congressman. I do not knock a man down with a bludgeon, and go through his pockets; but I offer my congressional services, and then it is nothing to me who knocks him down after that. I can only say that I fear he would be poor picking after I get through with him. I am a man of enterprise. I go in for railroads and canals - not so much because these things are public benefits, as because they open a channel for wealth to flow into my coffers from the pockets of the unsuspecting public. There is nothing better than money. My religion is money. My patriotism is money. I am perfectly willing to be a patriot, if I |