Rudyard Kipling Study of an Elevation, in Indian Ink POTIPHAR GUBBINS, C. E., Stands at the top of the tree; And I muse in my bed on the reasons that led Potiphar Gubbins, C. E., Is seven years junior to Me; Each bridge that he makes either buckles or breaks, And his work is as rough as he. Potiphar Gubbins, C. E., Is coarse as a chimpanzee; And I can't understand why you gave him your hand, Lovely Mehitabel Lee. Potiphar Gubbins, C. E., Is dear to the Powers that Be; For They bow and They smile in an affable style Potiphar Gubbins, C. E., Is certain as certain can be Of a highly paid post which is claimed by a host Careless and lazy is he, Greatly inferior to Me. What is the spell that you manage so well, Lovely Mehitabel Lee, Let me inquire of thee, Should I have riz to what Potiphar is, Hadst thou been mated to Me? -"Departmental Ditties." Oonts! WoT makes the soldier's 'eart to penk, wot makes 'im to perspire? It isn't standin' up to charge or lyin' down to fire; Oh, the oont, Oh, the oont, Oh, the commissariat With 'is silly neck a-bobbin' like a basket full o' snakes. We packs 'im like a idol, an' you ought to 'ear 'im grunt, An' when we gets 'im loaded up 'is blessed girth rope breaks. Wot makes the rear-guard swear so 'ard when night is drorin' in, An' every native follower is shiverin' for 'is skin? It ain't the chanst o' bein' rushed by Paythans frum the 'ills, It's the commissariat camel puttin' on 'is blessed frills! Oh, the oont, Oh, the oont, Oh, the hairy, scary oont! A-trippin' over tent-ropes when we've got the night alarm. We socks 'im with a stretcher-pole, an' 'eads 'im off in front, 'An' when we've saved 'is bloomin' life 'e chaws our bloomin' arm. The 'orse 'e knows above a bit, the bullock's but a fool, The elephant's a gentleman, the baggage-mule's a mule; But the commissariat cam-u-el, when all is said an' done, 'E's a devil an' a ostrich an' a orphan-child in one. Oh, the oont, Oh, the oont, Oh, the Gawd-forsaken oont! The 'umpy-lumpy 'ummin'-bird a-singin' where 'e lies, 'E's blocked the 'ole division from the rear-guard to the front, An' when we gets 'im up again-the beggar goes an' dies! 'E'll gall an' chafe an' lame an' fight; 'e smells most awful vile; 'E'll lose 'imself for ever if you let 'im stray a mile; 'E's game to graze the 'ole day long an' 'owl the 'ole night through, 'An' when 'e comes to greasy ground 'e splits 'isself in two. Oh, the oont, Oh, the oont, Oh, the floppin', droppin' oont! When 'is long legs give from under an' 'is meltin' eye is dim, The tribes is up be'ind us an' the tribes is out in front, It ain't no jam for Tommy, but it's kites and crows for 'im. So when the cruel march is done, an' when the roads is blind, An' when we sees the camp in front an' 'ears the shots be'ind, oont! The late lamented camel in the water-cut he lies; front, But 'e gets into the drinkin' casks, and then o' course we dies. "Barrack-Room Ballads." The Courting of Dinah Shadd "DID I ever tell you how Dinah Shadd came to be wife av mine?" I dissembled a burning anxiety that I had felt for some months-ever since Dinah Shadd, the strong, the patient, and the infinitely tender, had, of her own good love and free will, washed a shirt for me, moving in a barren land where washing was not. "I can't remember," I said casually. "Was it before or after you made love to Annie Bragin, and got no satisfaction?" The story of Annie Bragin is written in another place. It is one of the many episodes in Mulvaney's checkered career. "Before-before-long before was that business av Annie Bragin an' the corp'ril's ghost. Never woman was the worse for me whin I had married Dinah. There's a time for all things, an' I know how to kape all things in place—barrin' the dhrink, that kapes me in my place, wid no hope av comin' to be aught else." "Begin at the beginning," I insisted. "Mrs. Mulvaney told me that you married her when you were quartered in Krab Bokhar barracks." "An' the same is a cess-pit," said Mulvaney piously. "She spoke thrue, did Dinah. 'Twas this way. Talkin' av that, have ye iver fallen in love, sorr?" I preserved the silence of the damned. Mulvaney continued: "Thin I will assume that ye have not. I did. In the days av my youth, as I have more than wanst towld you, I was a man that filled the eye an' delighted the sowl av women. Niver man was hated as I have been. Niver man was loved as I-no, not within half a day's march av ut. For the first five years av my service, whin I was what I wud give my sowl to be now, I tuk whatever was widin my reach an' digested ut, an' that's more than most men can say. Dhrink I tuk, an' ut did me no harm. By the hollow av hiven, I could play wid four women at wanst, an' kape thim from findin' out anything about the other three, and |