Mac. What a fool is a fond wench! Polly is air with you, sir, this evening upon the heath? I drink a dram now and then with the stage coach-most confoundedly bit. I love the sex; and a men, in the way of friendship and intelligence; and I know, that about this time, there will be passengers upon the western road who are worth speaking with. Mac. I was to have been of that partybut Mat. But what, sir? Mac. Is there any man who suspects my courage? Mat. We have all been witnesses of it. Mac. in the division of our booty, have I ever shewn the least marks of avarice or injustice? Mat. By these questions something seems to have ruffled you. Are any of us suspected? Mac. I have a fixed confidence, gentlemen, in you all as men of honour, and, as such, I value and respect you; Peachum is a man that is useful to us. Mat. Is he about to shew us any foul play? I'll shoot him through the head. Mac. I beg you, gentlemen, act with conduct and discretion. A pistol is your last resort. Mat. He knows nothing of this meeting. Mac. Business cannot go on without him: he is a man who knows the world, and is a necessary agent to us. We have had a slight difference, and till it is accommodated, I shall be obliged to keep out of his way. Any private dispute of mine shall be of no ill consequence to my friends. You must continue to act under his direction; for, the moment we break loose from him, our gang is ruined. Mat. He is, to us, of great convenience. Mac. Make him believe I have quitted the gang, which I can never do but with life. At our private quarters, I will continue to meet you. A week or so, will probably reconcile us. Mat. Your instructions shall be observed— 'Tis now high time for us to repair to our several duties; so, till the evening, at our quarters in Moorfields, we bid you farewell. Mac. I shall wish myself with you. Success attend you. [Sits down melancholy at the table. man, who loves money, might as well be content ed with one guinea, as I with one woman. The town, perhaps, hath been as much obliged to me for recruiting it with free-hearted ladies, as to any recruiting officer in the army. If it were not for us and the other gentlemen of the sword, Drury-lane would be uninhabited. AIR-Would you have a young virgin, &c. But her ripe lips are more sweet than those; Dissolve us in pleasure and soft repose. I must have women! There is nothing unbends the mind like them; money is not so strong a cordial for the time-Drawer! Enter MRS. COAXER, DOLLY TRULL, MRS. VIXEN, BETTY DOXY, JENNY DIVER, MRS. SLAMMEKIN, SUKY TAWDRY, and MOLLY BRAZEN. Mac. Dear Mrs. Coaxer! you are welcome; you look charmingly to-day: I hope you don't want the repairs of quality, and lay on paint?Dolly Trull! kiss me, you slut! are you as amorous as ever, hussy? you are always so taken up with stealing hearts, that you don't allow yourself time to steal any thing else; ah, Dolly! thou wilt ever be a coquette. Mrs. Vixen! I'm your's; I always loved a woman of wit and spirit; they make charming mistresses, but plaguy wives.Betty Doxy! come hither, hussy! do you drink as hard as ever? you had better stick to good wholesome beer; for, in troth, Betty,strong waters will in time ruin your constitution: you should leave those to your betters.-What, and my pretty Jenny Diver, too! as prim and demure as ever! there is not any prude, though ever so high bred, hath a more sanctified look, with a more mischievous heart; ah, thou art a dear, artful hypocrite!Mrs. Slammekin! as careless and genteel as ever: all you fine ladies, who know your own beauty, affect an undress.-But see! only fit for cowardly cheats, who prey upon their friends. [She takes up one pistol, TAWDRY takes up the other. here's Suky Tawdry come to contradict what I was saying;-Molly Brazen! [She kisses him.] that's well done! I love a free-hearted wench: thou hast a most agreeable assurance, girl, and art as willing as a turtle.But hark! I hear Tawd. This sir, is fitter for your hand. Bemusic: the harper is at the door. If music be sides your loss of money, 'tis a loss to the the food of love, play on. Ere you seat your-ladies. How fond could I be of you! but, beselves, ladies, what think you of a dance? fore company, 'tis ill bred. Come in! Jen. You look as if you meant me. Wine is strong enough for me. Indeed, sir, I never drink strong waters, but when I have the cholic. Mac. Just the excuse of the fine ladies! why, a lady of quality is never without the cholic. I hope, Mrs. Coaxer, you have had good success of late in your visits among the mercers? Cour. We have so many interlopers; yet, with industry, one may still have a little picking. If any woman hath more art than another, to be sure it is Jenny Diver. Mac. Have done with your compliments, ladies, and drink about. You are not so fond of me, Jenny, as you used to be. Jen. 'Tis not convenient, sir, to shew my fondness among so many rivals. 'Tis your own choice, and not the warmth of my inclination, that will determine you. But to be sure, sir, with so much good fortune as you have had upon the road, you must be grown immensely rich? Mac. The road, indeed, hath done me justice, but the gaming-table hath been my ruin. Jen. A man of courage should never put any thing to the risk but his life. These are the tools of a man of honour: cards and dice are Mac. Wanton hussies! Jen. I must, and will have a kiss, to give my wine a zest. [They take him about the neck, and make signs to PEACHUM and constables, who rush in upon him. Peach. I seize you, sir, as my prisoner. Mac. Was this well done, Jenny ?-Women are decoy-ducks; who can trust them? beasts, jades, jilts, harpies, furies, whores! Peach. Your case, Mr. Macheath, is not particular. The greatest heroes have been ruined by women. But, to do them justice, I must own they are pretty sort of creatures, if we could trust them. You must now, sir, take your leave of the ladies; and, if they have a mind to make you a visit, they will be sure to find you at home. This gentleman, ladies, lodges in Newgate. Constables, wait upon the captain to his lodgings. AIR.-When first I laid siege to my Chloris. Mac. At the tree I shall suffer with pleasure. At the tree I shall suffer with pleasure; Let me go where I will, In all kinds of ill, I shall find no such furies as these are. [Exit MACHEATH, guarded, with PEACHUM and constables, the ladies after with great ceremony. SCENE II.-Newgate. Enter LOCKIT, Turnkeys, MACHEATH and Lock. Noble captain! you are welcome; you have not been a lodger of mine this year and half. You know the custom, sir: garnish, captain, garnish. Hand me down those fetters there. Mac. Those, Mr. Lockit, seem to be the heaviest of the whole set. With your leave I should like the further pair better. Lock. Look ye, captain, we know what is fittest for our prisoners. When a gentleman uses me with civility, I always do the best I can to please him. Hand them down, I say. We have them of all prices, from one guinea to ten; and 'tis fitting every gentleman should please himself. Mac. I understand you, sir. [Gives money.] The fees here are so many and so exorbitant, that few fortunes can bear the expence of getting off handsomely, or of dying like a gentleman. Lock. Those I see will fit the captain better. Lucy. Insinuating monster! And so you think I know nothing of the affair of Miss Polly Peachum?-I could tear thy eyes out! Mac. Sure, Lucy, you cannot be such a fool as to be jealous of Polly? Take down the further pair. Do but examine (have but patience) you shall be my wife, in them, sir. Never was better work; how gen-whatever manner you please. teelly they are made! They will sit as easy as a glove, and the nicest man in England need not be ashamed to wear them. He puts on the chains.]-If I had the best gentleman in the land in my custody, I could not equip him more handsomely. And so, sir-I now leave you to your private meditations. [Exeunt LOCKIT, Turnkeys, and Constables. AIR.-Courtiers, courtiers, think it no harm. Mac. Man may escape from rope and gun, Nay, some have outlived the doctor's pill; Who takes a woman must be undone, That basilisk is sure to kill. The fly that sips treacle is lost in the So he that tastes woman, woman, woman, To what a woeful plight have I brought myself! Here must I (all day long till I am hanged) be confined to hear the reproaches of a wench, who lays her ruin at my door. I am in the custody of her father; and, to be sure, if he knows of the matter, I shall have a fine time of it betwixt this and my execution. But I promised the wench marriage. What signifies a promise to a woman? Does not man, in marriage itself, promise a hundred things that he never means to perform? Do all we can, women will believe us; for they look upon a promise as an excuse for following their own inclinations-But here comes Lucy-and I cannot get from her-would I were deaf! Enter Lucy. Lucy. You base man, you? How can you look me in the face after what hath passed between us? Oh, Macheath! Thou hast robbed me of my quiet-to see thee tortured, would give me pleasure. AIR.-A lovely luss to a friar came. Thus, when a good housewife sees a rat In her trap in the morning taken, With pleasure her heart goes pit a pat, In revenge for her loss of bacon; Then she throws him to the dog or cat To be worried, crushed, and shaken. Mac. Have you no bowels, no tenderness, my dear Lucy! to see a husband in these cir cumstances? Lucy. A husband! Mac. In every respect but the form; and that, my dear, may be said over us at any time. Friends should not insist upon ceremonies. From a man of honour, his word is as good as his bond. Lucy. 'Tis the pleasure of all you fine men to insult the women you have ruined. Mac. The very first opportunity, my dear, | Lucy. Are you not married to her, you brute you? Mac. Married! Very good! the wench gives it out only to vex thee, and to ruin me in thy good opinion. 'Tis true, I go to the house; I chat with the girl; I kiss her; I say a thousand things to her (as all gentlemen do that mean nothing) to divert myself; and now the silly jade hath set it about that I am married to her, to let me know what she would be at. Indeed, my dear Lucy, these violent passions may be of ill consequence to a woman in your condition. Lucy. Come, come, captain; for all your assurance, you know that Miss Polly hath put it out of your power to do me the justice you promised me. her passion suggests. To convince you of my Mac. A jealous woman believes every thing sincerity, if we can find the Ordinary, I shall have no scruples of making you my wife; and I time. know the consequence of having two at a Lucy. That you are only to be hanged, and so get rid of them both. Mac. I am ready, my dear Lucy, to give you satisfaction-if you think there is any in marriage. What can a man of honour say more? Lucy. So, then, it seems you are not married to Miss Polly? Mac. You know, Lucy, the girl is prodigiously conceited: no man can say a civil thing to her, but (like other fine ladies) her vanity makes her think he's her own for ever and ever. AIR.-The sun had loosed his weary teams. The first time at the looking glass Each time she looks, she, fonder grown, But alas, vain maid! all cyes but your own When women consider their own beauties, they are all alike unreasonable in their demands, for they expect their lovers should like them as long as they like themselves. Lucy.-Yonder is my father-Perhaps this way we may light upon the ordinary, who shall try if you will be as good as your word-for I long to be made an honest woman. [Exeunt. Enter PEACHUM and LocKIT, with an account book. Lock. in this last affair, brother Peachum, we are agreed. You have consented to go the wrong-we shall be both losers in the dishalves in Macheath? pute-for you know, we have it in our power to Peach. We shall never fall out about an exe-hang each other. You should not be so pascution.—But as to that article, pray how stands our last year's account? Lock. If you will run your eye over it, you'll find 'tis fair aud clearly stated. sionate. Lock. Nor you so provoking. Peach. 'Tis our mutual interest-'tis for the interest of the world, we should agree-If I said any thing, brother, to the prejudice of your character, I ask pardon. Lock. Brother Peachum-I can forgive, as Peach. This long arrear of the government, is very hard upon us. Can it be expected that we should hang our acquaintance for nothing, when our betters will hardly save theirs with-well as resent-Give me your hand: suspicion out being paid for it? Unless the people in does not become a friend. employment pay better, I promise them, for the future, I shall let other rogues live besides their own. Lock. Perhaps, brother, they are afraid these matters may be carried too far. We are treated too by them with contempt, as if our profession were not reputable. Peach. In one respect indeed, our employment may be reckoned dishonest, because, like great statesmen, we encourage those who betray their friends. Lock. Such language, brother, any where else, might turn to your prejudice. Learn to be more guarded, I beg you. AIR.-How happy are we, &c. Lest the courtiers offended should be ; I Each cries-That was levell'd at me. Peach. Here's poor Ned Clincher's name, see: sure, brother Lockit, there was a little unfair proceeding in Ned's case; for he told me, in the condemned hold, that, for value received, you had promised him a session or two longer without molestation. Lock. Mr. Peacbum-this is the first time my honour was ever called in question. Peach. I only meant to give you occasion to justify yourself. But I must now step home, for I expect the gentleman about this snuff-box, that Filch nimmed two nights ago in the Park. I appointed him at this hour. [Exit. Enter Lucy. Lock. Whence come you, hussy? Lucy. My tears might answer that question. Lock. You have been whimpering and fondling like a spaniel, over the fellow that hath abused you. Lucy. One can't help love; one can't cure it. 'Tis not in my power to obey you, and hate him. Lock. Learn to bear your husband's death like a reasonable woman: 'tis not the fashion now-a-days so much as to affect sorrow upon these occasions. No woman would ever marry, if she had not the chance of mortality for a release. Act like a woman of spirit, hussy, and thank your father for what he is doing. AIR.-Of a noble race was Shenkin. Lucy. Is, then, his fate decreed, sir? Lock. Look ye, Lucy-there's no saving him-so I think you must even do like other Peach. Business is at an end-if once we act widows-buy yourself weeds, and be cheerful. dishonourably. Lock. Who accuses me? Peach. You are warm, brother. Lock. He that attacks my honour, attacks my livelihood-And this usage-Sir-is not to be borne. Peach. Since you provoke me to speak,-I must tell you too, that Mrs. Coaxer charges you AIR. You'll think, ere many days ensue, This sentence not severe ; I hang your husband, child, 'tis true, [Exit. with defrauding her of her information-money, Like a good wife, go moan over your dying husfor the apprehending of Curl-pated Hugh. In- band: that, child, is your duty.-Consider, deed, indeed, brother, we must punctually pay girl, you can't have the man and the money our spies, or we shall have no information. too-so make yourself as easy as you can by Lock. Is this language to me, sirrah!-who | getting all you can from him. have sav'd you from the gallows, sirrah? [Collaring each other. Peach. If I am hanged, it shall be for ridding the world of an arrant rascal. Lock. This hand shall do the office of the halter you deserve, and throttle you-you dog! Peach. Brother, brother!-we are both in Enter MACHEATH. Lucy. Though the ordinary was out of the way to-day, I hope, my dear, you will, upon the first opportunity, quiet my scruples. Oh, sir, my father's hard heart is not to be softened, and I am in the utmost despair! Mac. But if I could raise a small sum-would not twenty guineas, think you, move him?-Of all the arguments, in the way of business, the perquisite is the most prevailing.-Your father's perquisites, for the escape of prisoners, must amount to a considerable sum in the year. Money, well timed, and properly applied, will do any thing. AIR.-London ladies. If you, at an office, solicit your due, And would not have matters neglected, You must quicken the clerk with the perquisite, too, To do what his duty directed. Or would you the frowns of a lady prevent, Lucy. What love or money can do, shall be done; for all my comfort depends upon your safety. Enter POLLY. Polly. Where is my dear husband?-Was a rope ever intended for this neck! Oh, let me throw my arms about it, and throttle thee with love!-Why dost thou turn away from me? 'Tis thy Polly-'tis thy wife! Mac. Was ever such an unfortunate rascal as I am! Lucy. Was there ever such another villain! Polly. Oh, Macheath! was it for this we parted? Taken! imprisoned! tried! hanged! Cruel reflection! I'll stay with thee till deathno force shall tear thy dear wife from thee now. What means my love?-not one kind word! not one kind look! Think what thy Polly suffers to see thee in this condition! Mac. I must disown her [Aside.] The wench is distracted! Lucy. Am I then bilked of my virtue? Can I have no reparation? Sure men were born to lie, and women to believe them; Oh, villain, villain! Polly. Am I not thy wife?-Thy neglect of me, thy aversion to me, too severely proves it. Look on me-Tell me, am I not thy wife? Lucy. Perfidious wretch! Polly. Barbarous husband! Lucy. Hadst thou been hanged five months ago, I had been happy! Polly. And I, too. If you had been kind to me till death, it would not have vexed me-and that's po very unreasonable request (though from a wife), to a man who hath not above seven or eight days to live. Lucy. Art thou, then, married to another? Hast thou two wives, monster? Mac. If womens' tongues can cease for an answer-hear me. Lucy. I won't.-Flesh and blood cannot bear my usage. Polly. Shall I not claim my own?-Justice bids me speak? AIR.-Have you heard of a frolicsome ditty? Polly. Sure, my dear! there ought to be some preference shewn to a wife; at least she may claim the appearance of it. He must be distracted with his misfortunes, or he could not use me thus. Lucy. Oh, villain, villain! thou hast deceived me! I could even inform against thee with pleasure. Not a prude wishes more heartily to than I now wish to have facts against thee. I have facts against her intimate acquaintance, would have her satisfaction, and they should all out. AIR.-Irish trot. Polly. I'm bubbled! These fingers, with pleasure, could fasten the noose, Polly. I'm bubbled, &c. Mac. Be pacified, my dear Lucy! this is all a fetch of Polly's, to make me desperate with you in case I get off. If I am hanged, she would fain have the credit of being thought my widow.dispute of this sort; for whenever you are talk-Really, Polly, this is no time for a ing of marriage, I am thinking of hanging. Polly. And hast thou the heart to persist in disowning me? Mac. And hast thou the heart to persist in persuading me that I am married? Why, Polly, dost thou seek to aggravate my misfortunes? Lucy. Really, Miss Peachum, you but expose yourself: besides, 'tis barbarous in you to worry a gentleman in his circumstances. AIR. Polly. Cease your funning, Never shall my heart trepan : Are but malice, To seduce my constant man. |