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O, happy is that man an' blest!

Nae wonder that it pride him! Whase ain dear lass, that he likes best, Comes clinkin' down beside him! Wi' arm reposed on the chair-back, He sweetly does compose him; Which, by degrees, slips round her neck, An's loof upon her bosom, Unkenned that day.

Now a' the congregation o'er

Is silent expectation;
For Moodie speels the holy door,
Wi' tidings 'o' damnation.
Should Hornie, as in ancient days,
'Mang sons o’G―— present him,
The vera sight o' Moodie's face,

To's ain het hame had sent him
Wi' fright that day.

Hear how he clears the points o' faith
Wi' rattlin' an' thumpin'!
Now meekly calm, now wild in wrath,
He's stampin' an he's jumpin'!

His lengthened chin, his turned-up snout,
His eldritch squeel and gestures,
O, how they fire the heart devout,
Like cantharidian plaisters,
On sic a day!

But hark! the tent has changed its voice;
There's peace an' rest nae langer :
For a' the real judges rise,

They canna sit for anger.
Smith opens out his cauld harangues
On practice and on morals;
An' aff the godly pour in thrangs,
To gi'e the jars an' barrels
A lift that day.

What signifies his barren shine

Of moral powers and reason? His English style, an' gesture fine, Are a' clean out o' season.

Like Socrates or Antonine,

Or some auld Pagan heathen, The moral man he does define, But ne'er a word o' faith in,

That's right that day.

In guid time comes an antidote
Against sic poisoned nostrum ;
For Peebles, frae the water-fit,
Ascends the holy rostrum :
See, up he's got the Word o' God,
An' meek an' mim has viewed it,
While Common Sense has ta'en the road,
An' aff, an' up the Cowgate,

Fast, fast that day.

Wee Miller, niest, the guard relieves,
An' orthodoxy raibles,

Though in his heart he weel believes,

An' thinks it auld wives' fables:
But, faith! the birkie wants a manse,
So cannily he hums them;
Although his carnal wit an' sense
Like hafflins-ways o'ercomes him
At times that day..

Now butt an' ben, the change-house fills,
Wi' yill-caup commentators:
Here's crying out for bakes and gills,

An' there the pint-stowp clatters;
While thick an' thrang, an' loud an' larg,
Wi' logic an' wi' Scripture,
They raise a din, that in the end
Is like to breed a rupture
O' wrath that day.

Leeze me on drink! it gi'es us mair
Than either school or college:
It kindles wit, it waukens lair,

It pangs us fu' o' knowledge:
Be 't whisky gill, or penny wheep,
Or ony stronger potion,
It never fails, on drinking deep,
To kittle up our notion

By night or day.

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How drink gaed round, in cogs an' An' mony jobs that day begun

caups,

Amang the furms an' benches :

An' cheese an' bread, frae women's laps,

Was dealt about in lunches,

May end in houghmagandie

Some ither day.

An' dawds that day.

EPISTLE TO JOHN LAPRAIK.

AN OLD SCOTTISH BARD.

[John Lapraik, a companion of Burns, though thirty-two years the latter's senior, was one of those mediocrities whom the poet was fond of idealizing into importance, out of the extravagant generosity of his friendship. Like David Sillar, this older rhyming dullard presumed to pass through the press, in 1788, in emulation of the then already famous bard of Ayrshire, a volume of verse of no intrinsic value what

It pat me fidgin' fain to hear 't,
And sae about him there I spier't,
Then a' that kent him round declared
He had ingine,

That nane excelled it, few came near 't,
It was sae fine.

That, set him to a pint of ale,
An' either douce or merry tale,
Or rhymes an' sangs he'd made himsel',
Or witty catches,

ever. What we are alone indebted to him for is
having elicited from Burns this poetical address,
dated April 1, 1785, together with other epistles 'Tween Inverness and Teviotdale
of the rarest excellence.]

WHILE briers an' woodbines budding

green,

An' paitricks scraichin' loud at e'en,
An' morning poussie whidden seen,

Inspire my muse,
This freedom in an unknown frien'
I pray excuse.

On Fasten-e'en we had a rockin',

To ca' the crack and weave our stockin';
And there was muckle fun an' jokin',
Ye need na doubt;

At length we had a hearty yokin'
At sang about.

There was ae sang amang the rest,
Aboon them a' it pleased me best,
That some kind husband had addrest

To some sweet wife;

He had few matches.

Then up I gat, an' swoor an' aith, Though I should pawn my pleugh and graith,

Or die a cadger pownie's death,

At some dyke back, A pint an' gill I'd gi'e them baith To hear your crack.

But, first an' foremost, I should tell,
Amaist as soon as I could spell,
I to the crambo-jingle fell,

Though rude an' rough,

Yet crooning to a body's sel',

Does weel eneugh.

I am nae poet, in a sense,
But just a rhymer, like, by chance,

It thirled the heart-strings through the An' ha'e to learning nae pretence,

breast,

A' to the life.

I've scarce heard ought describes sae
weel

What generous, manly bosoms feel;
Thought I, "Can this be Pope, or
Steele,

Or Beattie's wark?"
They tald me 't was an odd kind chiel
About Muirkirk.

Yet, what the matter? Whene'er my Muse does on me glance, I jingle at her.

Your critic-folk may cock their nose,
And say, 66 How can you e'er propose,
You wha ken hardly verse frae prose,
To mak' a sang ?"
But, by your leave, my learned foes,
Ye're may be wrang.

F

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But

ye whom social pleasure charms, Whose hearts the tide of kindness warms, Who hold your being on the terms, "Each aid the others,"

Come to my bowl, come to my arms,

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This vera night;.

My friends, my brothers! So dinna ye affront your trade,
But rhyme it right.

But, to conclude my lang epistle,
As my auld pen's worn to the grissle;
Twa lines frae you wad gar me fissle,
Who am, most fervent,
While I can either sing or whissle,

Shall bauld Lapraik, the king o' hearts,
Though mankind were a pack o' cartes,
Roose you sae weel for your deserts,
In terms sae friendly,

Your friend and servant. Yet ye 'll neglect to shaw your parts,
An' thank him kindly?"

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