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Sir, go there; and, when the writer comes to be paid for his expected booty, seize him?
Cro. My dear friend, it 's the very thing; the very thing. While I walk by the door, you shall plant yourself in ambush near the bar; burst out upon the miscreant like a masked battery; extort a confession at once, and so hang him up by surprise.
Honey. Yes, but I would not choose to exercise too much severity. It is my maxim, Sir, that crimes generally punish themselves.
Cro. Well, but we may upbraid him a little, I suppose ? (Ironically.)
Honey. Ay, but not punish him too rigidly.
Honey. Well, I do; but remember, that universal benevolence is the first law of nature.
[Exeunt HONEYWood and Mrs. CROAKER. Cro. Yes; and my universal benevolence will hang the dog, if he had as many necks as a hydra.
Enter OLIVIA, JARVIS. Olivia. Well, we have got safe to the inn, however. Now, if the post-chaise were ready
Jarv. The horses are just finishing their oats; and, as they are not going to be married, they choose to take their own time.
Olivia. You are for ever giving wrong motives to my impatience.
Jarv. Be as impatient as you will, the horses must take their own time; besides, you don't consider we have got no answer from our fellow-traveller yet. If we hear nothing from Mr. Leontine, we have only one way left us.
Olivia. What way?
Olivia. Not so. I have made a resolution to go, and nothiug shall induce me to break it.
Jarv. Ay; resolutions are well kept, when they jump with inclination. However, I 'll go basten things without. And I 'll call, too, at the bar, to see if any thing should be left for us there. Don't be in such a plaguy hurry, Madam, and we shall go the faster, I promise you.
[Exit JARVIS. Enter LANDLADY. Land. What! Solom why don't you move? Pipes and tobacco for the Lamb there. Will nobody answer? To the Dolphin; quick. The Angel has been outrageous this half hour. Did your ladyship call, Madam?
Olivia. No, Madam.
Land. I find as you 're for Scotland, Madam. — But that 's no business of mine; married, or not married, I ask no questions. To be sure we had a sweet little couple set off from this two days ago for the same place. The gentleman, for a tailor, was, to be sure, as fine a spoken tailor as ever blew froth from a full pot. And the young lady so bashful, it was near half an hour before we could get her to finish a pint of raspberry between us.
Olivia. But this gentleman and I are not going to be married, I assure you.
Land. May be not. That's no business of mine; for certain, Scotch marriages seldom turn out. There was, of my own knowledge, Miss Macfag, that married her father's footman - Alacka-day, she and her husband soon parted, and now keep separate cellars in Hedge-lane. Olivia. A very pretty picture of what lies before me! [Aside.
Enter LEONTINE. Leon. My dear Olivia, my anxiety, till you were out of danger, was too great to be resisted. I could not help coming to see you set out, though it exposes us to a discovery.
Olivia. May every thing you do prove as fortunate. Indeed, Leontine, we have been most cruelly disappointed. Mr. Honeywood's bill upon the city has, it seeins, been protested, and we have been utterly at a loss how to proceed.
Leon. How! an offer of his own too. Sure, he could not mean to deceive us?
Olivia. Depend upon his sincerity; he only mistook the desire for the power of serving us. But let us think no more of it. I believe the post-chaise is ready by this.
Land. Not quite yet; and, begging your ladyship's pardon, I don't think your ladyship quite ready for the post-chaise. The north-road is a cold place, Madam. I have a drop in the house of as pretty raspberry as ever was tipt over tongue. Just a thimblefull to keep the wind off your stomach. To be sure, the last couple we had here, they said it was a perfect nosegay. Ecod, I sent them both away as good-natured – Up went the blinds, round went the wheels, and drive away post-boy, was the word.
Enter CROAKER. Cro. Well, while my friend Honeywood is upon the post of danger at the bar, it must be my business to have an eye about me here. I think I know an incendiary's look; for wherever the devil makes a purchase, he never fails to set his mark. Ha! who have we here? My son and daughter! What can they be doing here?
Land. I tell you, Madam, it will do you good; I think I know by this time what's good for the north-road. It 's a raw night, Madam. Sir
Leon. Not a drop more, good Madam. I should now take it as a greater favour, if you hasten the horses, for I am afraid to be seen myself.
Land. That shall be done. Wha, Solomon! are you all dead there? Wha, Solomon, I say!
[Excit, bawling. Olivia. Well, I dread lest an expedition begun in fear, should end in repentance. - Every moment we stay increases our danger, and adds to my apprehensions.
Leon. There 's no danger, trust me, my dear; there can be none. If Honeywood has acted with honour, and kept my father, as he promised, in employment till we are out of danger, nothing cau interrupt our journey.
Olivia. I have no doubt of Mr. Honeywood's sincerity, and even his desires to serve us. My fears are from your father's suspicions. A mind so disposed to be alarmed without a cause, will be but too ready when there's a reason.
Leon. Why let him when we are out of his power. But believe me, Olivia, you have no great reason to dread his resentment. His repining temper, as it does no manner of injury to himself, so will it never do harm to others. He only frets to keep himself employed, and scolds for his private amusement.
Olivia. I don't know that; but I'm sure, on some occasions it makes him look most shockingly.
CROAKER, discovering himself.
Cro. How do I look now? Sir, I am your very humble servant. Madam, I am yours. What, you are going off, are you? Then, first, if you please, take a word or two from me with you before you go. Tell me first where you are going; and when you have told me that, perhaps I shall know as little as I did before.
Leon. If that be so, our answer might but increase your displeasure, without adding to your information.
Cro. I want no information from you, puppy: and you too, good Madam, what answer have you got? Eh! (A cry without, Stop him!) I think I heard a noise. My friend Honeywood without
has he seized the incendiary? Ah, no; for now I hear no more on 't.
Leon. Honeywood without! Then, Sir, it was Mr. Honeywood that directed you hither?
Cro. No, Sir, it was Mr. Honeywood conducted me hither. Leon. Is it possible?
Cro. Possible! Why he's in the house now, Sir; more anxious about me thau my own son,
Sir. Leon. Then, Sir, he's a villaiu.
Cro. How, sirrah! a villain, because he takes most care of your father? I'll not bear it. I tell you I'll vot bear it. Honeywood is a friend to the fanily, and I'll have hiin treated as such.
Leon. I shall study to repay his friendship as it deserves.
Cro. Ah, rogue, if you kuew how earnestly he entered into my griefs, and pointed out the means to detect them, you would love him as I do. (A cry without, Stop him!) Fire and fury ! they have seized the incendiary: they have the villain, the incendiary in view! Stop him! stop an incendiary! a murderer! stop him!
[Exit. Olivia. O, my terrois! What can this tumult mean?
Leon. Some new mark, I suppose, of Mr. Honeywood's sincerity. But we shall have satisfaction: he shall give me instant satisfaction.
Olivia. It must not be, my Leontine, if you value my esteem or my happiness. Whatever be our fate, let us not add guilt to our misfortunes Consider that our innocence will shortly be all that we have left us. You must forgive him.
Leon. Forgive him! Has he not in every instance betrayed us? Forced to borrow money from him, which appears a mere trick to delay us; promised to keep my father engaged till we were out of danger, and here brought him to the very scene of our escape?
Olivia. Don't be precipitate. We may yet be mistaken. Enter Postboy, dragging in Jarvis; HONEYWOOD entering
soon after. Post. Ay, master, we have him fast enough. Here is the incendiary dog. I'm entitled to the reward: I'll take my oath I saw him ask for the money at the bar, and then run for it.
Honey. Come, bring him along. Let us see him. Let him learn to blush for his crimes. (Discovering his mistake.) Death! what's here? Jarvis, Leontine, Olivia! What can all this mean?
Jarv. Why, I'll tell you what it means: that I was an old fool, and that you are my master- that's all.
Honey. Confusion !
Leon. Yes, Sir, I find you have kept your word with me. After such baseness, I wonder how you can venture to see the man you have injured ?
Honey. My dear Leontine, by my life, my honour
Leon. Peace, peace, for shame; and do not continue to aggravate baseness by hypocrisy. I know you, Sir, I know you.
Honey. Why, won't you hear me ? By all that 's just, I know not