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What is a, b, spelt backward with a horn on his head?
Hol. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.
Moth. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn :-You hear his learning. Hol. Quis, quis, thou consonant?
50 Moth. The third of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the fifth, if I.
Hol. I will repeat them, a, e, i.
Moth. The sheep : the other two concludes it; 0, ui,
Arm. Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a quick venew of wit : snip, snap, quick and home; it rejoiceth my intellect : true wit.
Moth. Offer'd by a child to an old man ; which is wit-old.
61 Hol. What is the figure? what is the figure ? Moth. Horns. Hol. Thou disputest like an infant: go, whip thy
gig. Moth. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your infamy circùm circà; A gig of a cuckold's horn!
Cost. An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it to buy ginger-bread : hold, there is the very remuneration I had of thy master, thou half-penny purse of wit, thou pigeon-eyg of discre. tion. O, an the heavens were so pleased, that thou wert but my bastard! what a joyful father wouldst thou make me? Go to; thou hast it ad dungkill, at the fingers' ends, as they say,
Hol. Oh, I smell false Latin ; dunghill for unguem.
Arm. Arts-man, præambula ; we will be singled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the charge-house on the top of the mountain ? Hol. Or, mons the hill.
80 Arm. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain. Hol. I do, sans question.
Arm, Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection, to congratulate the princess at her pavilion, in the posteriors of this day; which the rude multitude call, the afternoon.
Hol. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable, congruent, and measurable for the afternoon: the word is well cull'd, chose ; sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do assure.
90 Arm. Sir, the king is a noble gentleman; and my familiar, I do assure you, very good friend :-For what is inward between us, let it pass :—I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy ;-) beseech thee, apparel thy head :-and among other importunate and most serious designs,—and of great import indeed, too ;-but let that pass :-for I must tell thee, it will please his grace (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder ; and with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with my mustachio : but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world, I recount no fable ; some certain special honours it pleaseth his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel, that hath seen the world : but let
-The very all of all is, - but, sweet
heart, I do implore secrecy,- that the king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck, with some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antick, or fire-work. Now, understanding that the curate, and your sweet self, are good at such eruptions, and sudden breakings out of mirth, as it were,
I have acquainted you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.
Hol. Sir, you shall present before her the nine worthies.-Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some show in the posterior of this day, to be render'd by our assistance,-at the king's command; and this most gallant, illustrate, and learned gentleman,-before the princess; I say, none so fit as to present the nine worthies.
Nath. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?
Hol. Joshua, yourself; myself, or this gallant gentleman, Judas Maccabæus; this swain, because of his great limb or joint, shall pass Pompey the great ; the page, Hercules.
Arm. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that worthy's thumb: he is not so big as the end of his club.
Hol. Shall I have audience ? he shall present Hercules in minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake; and I will have an apology for that purpose.
133 Moth. An excellent device! so, if any of the audience hiss, you may cry; well done, Hercules! now Gij
thou crushest the snake! that is the way to make an offence gracious; though few have the grace to do it.
Arm. For the rest of the worthies ?-
Arm. We will have, if this fadge not, an antick. I beseech you, follow.
Hol. Via, goodman Dull! thou hast spoken no word all this while..
Dull. Nor understood none neither, sir.
Dull. I'll make one in a dance, or so: or I will play on the tabor to the worthies, and let them dance the hay.
152 Hol. Most dull, honest Dull, to our sport, away.
Before the Princess's Pavilion. Enter Princess, and
Ladies. Prin. Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart, If fairings come thus plentifully in A lady wall'd about with diamonds !Look yoll,
what I have from the loving king. Ros. Madam, came nothing else along with that?
Prin. Nothing but this ? yea, as much love in
rhime, As would be cramm'd up in a sheet of paper,
160 Writ on both sides the leaf, margent and all; That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.
Ros. That was the way to make his god-head wax; For he hath been five thousand years a boy.
Kath. Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows too.
Kath. He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy; And so she died : had she been light, like you, Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit, She might have been a grandam ere she dy'd : And so may you ; for a light heart lives long. Ros. What's your dark meaning, mouse, of thiş
light word? Kath. A light condition in a beauty dark. Ros. We need more light to find your meaning
out. Kath. You'll mar the light, by taking it in snuff; Therefore, I'll darkly end the argument. Ros. Look, what you do, you do it still i' the
dark. Kath. So do not you ; for you are a light wench. Ros. Indeed, I weigh not you; and therefore light, Kath. You weigh me not,-0, that's, you care not
for me. Ros. Great reason; for, Past cure is still past care. Prin. Well bandied both; a set of wit well play'd, Giij