Then took his loaf, and went his way;
But soon the baker bawl'd him back,"You've laid down but three half-pence, Jack, And two-pence was the loaf's amount. How's this, you cheating rascal, hey?” "Sir," says the boy, "you've less to count!"
THE CHAMELEON.
OFT has it been my lot to mark
A proud, conceited, talking spark,
With eyes that hardly served at most
To guard their master 'gainst a post;
Yet round the world the blade has been
To see whatever could be seen,
Returning from his finished tour,
Grown ten times perter than before.
Whatever word you chance to drop,
The traveled fool your mouth will stop:-
"Sir, if my judgment you'll allow,
I've seen, and sure I ought to know."
So begs you'd pay a due submission,
And acquiesce in his decision.
Two travelers of such a cast,
As o'er Arabia's wilds they passed,
And on their way, in friendly chat,
Now talked of this, and then of that;
Discoursed awhile, 'mongst other matter,
Of the Chameleon's form and nature.
"A stranger animal," cries one,
"Sure never lived beneath the sun:
A lizard's body, lean and long,
A fish's head, a serpent's tongue;
Its foot with triple claw disjoined ;
And what a length of tail behind!
How slow its pace; and then its hue,―
Who ever saw so fine a blue!"
"Hold there!" the other quick replies;
"'Tis green, I saw it with these eyes,
As late with open mouth it lay,
And warmed it in the sunny ray;
Stretched at its ease the beast I viewed,
And saw it eat the air for food."
"I've seen it, sir, as well as you,
And must again affirm it blue;
At leisure I the beast surveyed,
Extended in the cooling shade."
"'Tis green, 'tis green, sir, I assure ye!”— "Green!" cries the other, in a fury;
"Why, sir, d'ye think I've lost my eyes?""'T were no great loss," the friend replies;
"For if they always serve you thus, You'll find them of but little use."
So high, at last, the contest rose,
From words they almost came to blows;
When luckily came by a third ;
To him the question they referred,
And begged he'd tell them, if he knew,
Whether the thing was green or blue."
"Sirs," cries the umpire,
cease your pother, The creature's neither one nor t'other; I caught the animal last night, And viewed it o'er by candle-light: I marked it well,-'t was black as jetYou stare; but, sirs, I've got it yet,
And can produce it." "Pray, sir, do;
I'll lay my life the thing is blue.”
"And I'll be bound, that when you've seen
The reptile, you'll pronounce him green."
"Well, then, at once to end the doubt,"
Replies the man, "I'll turn him out:
And when before your eyes I've set him,
If you don't find him black, I'll eat him."
He said; then full before their sight
Produced the beast, and, lo!-'t was white.
"BOXIANA.”
I HATE the very name of box;
It fills me full of fears;
It 'minds me of the woes I've felt,
Since I was young in years.
They sent me to a Yorkshire school,
Where I had many knocks;
For there my schoolmates box'd my ears,
Because I couldn't box.
I pack'd my box; I picked the locks;
And ran away to sea;
And very soon I learnt to box
The compass merrily.
I came ashore,-I called a coach,
And mounted on the box;
The coach upset against a post,
And gave me dreadful knocks.
I soon got well; in love I fell,
And married Martha Cox;
To please her will, at fam'd Box hill,
I took a country box.
I had a pretty garden there,
All border'd round with box;
But ah, alas! there liv'd, next door,
A certain Captain Knox.
He took my wife to see the play ;—
They had a private box:
I jealous grew, and from that day,
I hated Captain Knox.
I sold my house,-I left my wife;-
And went to Lawyer Fox,
Who tempted me to seek redress
All from a jury box.
I went to law, whose greedy maw
Soon emptied my strong box;
I lost my suit, and cash to boot,
All thro' that crafty Fox.
The name of box I therefore dread,
I've had so many shocks;
They'll never end,-for when I'm dead,
They'll nail me in a box.
THE FRENCHMAN AND THE RATS.
A FRENCHMAN once who was a merry wight,
Passing to town from Dover in the night,
Near the road-side an ale-house chanced to spy:
And being rather tired as well as dry,
Resolved to enter; but first he took a peep,
In hopes a supper he might get, and cheap.
He enters: "Halloo! Garçon, if you please,
Bring me a leetle bread and cheese.
And halloo! Garçon, a pot of portar too!" he said, "Vich I shall take, and den myself to bed."
His supper done, some scraps of cheese were left,
Which our poor Frenchman, thinking it no theft,
Into his pocket put; then slowly crept
To wished-for bed; but not a wink he slept,-
For, on the floor some sacks of flour were laid,
To which the rats a nightly visit paid.
Our hero now undressed, popped out the light,
Put on his cap and bade the world good-night;
But first his breeches, which contained the fare,
Under his pillow he had placed with care.
Sans cérémonie soon the rats all ran,
And on the flour-sacks greedily began ;
At which they gorged themselves; then smelling round,
Under the pillow soon the cheese they found;
And while at this they regaling sat,
Their happy jaws disturbed the Frenchman's nap;
Who, half awake, cries out, Halloo! halloo !
Vat is dat nibbel at my pillow so?
Ah! 't is one big huge rat!
Vat de diable is it he nibbel, nibbel at?”
In vain our little hero sought repose;
Sometimes the vermin galloped o'er his nose;
And such the pranks they kept up all the night
That he, on end antipodes upright,
Bawling aloud, called stoutly for a light.
"Halloo! Maison! Garçon, I say!
Bring me the bill for vat I have to pay !"
The bill was brought, and to his great surprise,
Ten shillings was the charge, he scarce believes his eyes;
With eager haste he runs it o'er,
And every time he viewed it thought it more.
Vy zounds, and zounds!" he cries, "I sall no pay;
Vat, charge ten shelangs for vat I have mangé?
A leetle sup of portar, dis vile bed,
Vare all de rats do run about my head ?"
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