Replied his friend." No? I'm surprised at that; Where I come from, it is the common chat: But you shall hear an odd affair indeed! And that it happened, they are all agreed: Not to detain you from a thing so strange, A gentleman, that lives not far from 'Change, This week, in short, as all the alley knows, Taking a puke, has thrown up three black crows.' "Impossible!"-"Nay, but it's really true; I had it from good hands, and so may you." "From whose, I pray?" So having named the man, Straight to inquire his curious comrade ran. 'Sir, did you tell,"—relating the affair,— "Yes, sir, I did; and if it's worth your care, Ask Mr. Such-a-one; he told it me: But, by-the-by, 't was two black crows, not three." Resolved to trace so wondrous an event, Whip to the third the virtuoso went. "Sir," and so forth,-" Why, yes; the thing is fact, Though in regard to number not exact; It was not two black crows; 't was only one; The gentleman himself told me the case.' "Where may I find him ?” "Why, in such a place." Away he goes, and having found him out, Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt." Then to his last informant he referred, And begged to know if true what he had heard. "Did you, sir, throw up a black crow?" "Bless me! how people propagate a lie! "Not I!" Black crows have been thrown up, three, two, and one, And here I find, at last, all comes to none !" Did you say nothing of a crow at all?” "Crow,-crow,-perhaps I might, now I recall The matter over." "And pray, sir, what was 't?" "Why, I was horrid sick, and, at the last, I did throw up, and told my neighbor so, [Byrom. THE GOUTY MERCHANT AND THE STRANGER. IN Broad-street buildings (on a winter night), His feet, rolled up in fleecy hose; The Public Ledger, in whose columns grubbing Ships, shops, and slops, Gums, galls, and groceries, ginger, gin, "Your footman, sir, has gone his nightly track To the,-King's Head, And left your door ajar, which I Observed in passing by; And thought it neighborly to give you notice." "Ten thousand thanks,-how very few get In time of danger Such kind attentions from a stranger! Assuredly, that fellow's throat is Doomed to a final drop at Newgate : He knows, too (the unconscious elf), That there's no soul at home except myself." He knows that rogues and thieves by scores And see, how easily might one Even beneath your very nose, Enter your room, as I have done, Blow out your candles,-thus,-and thus, Pocket your silver candlesticks, And walk off,—thus !" So said, so done,—he made no more remark, Nor waited for replies, But marched off with his prize, Leaving the gouty merchant in the dark. [Anonymous. MISCONCEPTION. ERE night her sable curtains spread; In Thetis' lap; Ere Drowsy watchmen yet had ta'en A wight, by hungry fiend made bold, Did slily creep, Where numerous flocks were quiet laid No doubt, the sheep he meant to steal; Who just arrived in time to stop May ill luck on ill actions wait! Where prosecutors urge his guilt, 66 With fear o'erwhelmed, the victim stands, Anticipates the dread commands From the elbow chair, Where justice sits in solemn state. With brow austere. Rogue! what excuse hast thou for this? Thou knew'st full well, The sheep within that fold belonged,- Confess thy crime; 't will naught avail For G. F. M., in letters large, Thou plain mightst read." "'Tis true, I did," the thief replies; I really thought that G. F. M. Meant,-Good, Fat, Mutton!" [Anonymous. THE APPLE-DUMPLINGS AND GEORGE III. Where an old crone was hanging on the pot; Like lightning asked, "What's here? what's here? what? what? what? what?" Then taking up a dumpling in his hand, And oft did majesty the dumpling grapple: “'Tis monstrous, monstrous, monstrous hard,” he cried; "What makes the thing so hard?" The dame replied, Low courtseying, "Please your majesty, the apple." "Very astonishing indeed! strange thing!" (Turning the dumpling round) rejoined the king, "'Tis most extraordinary now, all this is,— It beats the conjurer's capers all to pieces,Strange I should never of a dumpling dream,But Goody, tell me, where, where, where's the ream ?” "Sire, there's no seam," quoth she, "I never kor That folks did apple-dumplings sew !"— "No?" cried the staring monarch with a grin, "Then, where, where, where, pray, got the apple Volcott THE DIRECTING POST. In winter, once, an honest traveling wight It out, and after much of poring, fumbling, Some angry oaths, and a great deal of grumbling, 'T was thus the words he traced," To Derby,-five ;' "A goodly distance yet, as I'm alive!" But on he drove, a weary length of way, |