The rival chiefs, a worthy pair, Of heads and shoulders quickly meet, And all seem to yon blue-eyed lass And now, while still they push and shout, He's found both pleasure, health, and fame. Pastime, September 7, 1883. AN EPITAPH. On the admirable Dramatic Poet, William Shakespeare. WHAT needs my Shakespeare for his honour'd bones, Or that his hallowed relics should be hid Dear son of memory, great heir of fame, What needs't thou such weak witness of thy name? Thou, in our wonder and astonishment, Hast built thyself a livelong monument. For whilst, to the shame of slow-endeavouring art, The easy numbers flow; and that each heart Dost make us marble with too much conceiving; And, so sepulchred, in such pomp dost lie, That Kings, for such a tomb, would wish to die. JOHN MILTON. AN EPITAPH (CONSIDERABLY) AFTER MILTON. On that admirable, but lately maligned Dramatic Poet, the divine WILLIAMS. "WHAT needs my SHAKSPEARE for his honoured bones," The veneration of SMITH, BROWN, and JONES? Or that his hallowed genius should be hid From dunces by pedantic Form bestrid? Esteem thy numbers, and the German heart This parody appeared in Punch, December 27, 1856, and another, very much resembling it appeared in the same paper in 1863 :— MR. MILTON MODERNISED. WHAT needs my Shakespeare for his honoured bones, Under a Hepworth-Dixon pyramid ? Dear son of memory-great heir of fame, -:0: A READING MAN. "One whose mind is devoted to nothing else but the study of Mathematics; one who, though naturally, perhaps, of a peacable, quiet temper, and disposition, so congenial to study, yet whose highest ambition is to be accounted the greatest WRANGLER in the university!" Hence, loathed MATHEMATICS! Of lecturer and blackest tutor born, Mongst horrid quizzes, bloods, and bucks unholy; Where pallid study spreads his midnight wings, There, mid'st unhallow'd souls, with sapless brain, And in the mind of READING Quizzes dwell From Gradus ad Cantabrigiam, by a Brace of Cantabs, London, John Hearne, 1824. - :0: A SEASIDE SONNET. After Milton-Oysters. How jaunty the jelly-fish frolic and roar, On the footprints, by ocean all foam fizzled o'er, Of an amber-shod maiden who looks to the Nore, Alas! for that maiden awaiting her mate She knew not the ways of the sons of the wave, When she bade him go ride at a rollicking rate O'er the billow that bounds; and she knows not her brave Hath struggled with "swipes" and sea sickness and fate, Till gone with his "grub" is the joy that she gave. Judy, September 8, 1880. "Orator" Henley, and Rock, a noted quack doctor, were well known men, Dr. John Hill was a surgeon, a botanist, an unprincipled satirical writer, an actor, and finally a dramatic author, in which latter character his want of success caused Garrick to remark : "For physic and farces, his equal there scarce is : His farces are physic, his physic a farce is." Hill was knighted through the favour of Lord Bute, and died in 1775. 0. On page 156, Parodies, the Shakespearian forgeries of W. H. Ireland were referred to, they gave rise to many bitter caricatures and satires. Amongst others appeared the following parody, by some ascribed to William Mason, by others to Steevens. "FOUR forgers*, born in one prolific age, The first was soon by Doughty Douglas scar'd, Tho' Johnson would have screen'd him had he dar'd, The third, invention, genius-nay, what not? To her fourth Son their threefold impudence." It is said that Ireland was so enraged at this publication that he broke the shop windows where it was exposed for sale. In the days of Daniel O'Connell beards were not usually worn, and in the House of Commons, Col. Sibthorp, M.P. for Lincoln, was the only member who wore one. O'Connell, wishing to retort to some attacks made on him by Colonel Sibthorp, Col. Verner, M.P. for Armagh County, and Col. Gore, M.P. for Sligo county, composed the following parody: THREE colonels in three distant counties born, The next in impudence, in both the last. To beard the third she shaved the other two." This version is taken from "Notes and Queries " of February 24, 1883, but the Athenæum, in quoting the lines, said they referred to Cols. Verner, Percival, and Sibthorp, thus omitting Col. Gore; whilst another paper named three totally different constituencies: The Editor of Truth selected Dryden's Epigram as the model for a parody competition, and the replies were published in that paper on March 27, 1884. They were very numerous, the following have been selected from amongst them, as being the best parodies, on the most interesting topics: THREE brightest blessings of this thirsty race, Brisk soda, welcome when the morn is bright; The force of Nature can no further go. SEXTON. THREE wishes granted to a jolly tar, Who east, and west, and south had travelled far. First, " grog enough to float a fleet!" The next Was, "all the baccy in the world!" Perplext, Imagination could no further go; "More grog and baccy!" was the final throw. GUINEA PIG. In 1879 the Editor of The World commenced a series of Prize Parody Competitions, the sixth of which had for its subject "Mr. Charles Warner in Drink," and the poem chosen as the model was Matthew Arnold's Sonnet on George Cruikshank's picture, "The Bottle." The first and second prizes were awarded to V.A.C.A. and FESS-GULES, and two other parodies were also printed. Matthew Arnold's original sonnet is here given, followed by the parodies, which appeared in The World, August 20, 1879. To GEORGE CRUIKSHANK. On seeing, in the Country, his Picture of "The Bottle." Shall breathless glades, cheered by shy Dian's horn, |