I was now under great exercise of mind; and my tears were poured out before the Lord, with inward cries that he would graciously help me under these trials.

In this case I believe my mind was resigned, but did not feel clearness to proceed; and my own weakness and the necessity of Divine instruction, were impressed upon me.

I was for a time as one who knew not what to do, and was tossed as in a tempest; under which affliction, the doctrine of Christ, "Take no thought for the morrow," arose livingly before me. I remembered that it was some days before they expected the vessel to sail, and was favored to get into a good degree of stillness; and having been nearly two days in town, I believed my obedience to my heavenly Father consisted in returning homeward. I went over amongst Friends on the Jersey shore, and tarried till the morning on which they had appointed to sail; and as I lay in bed the latter part of that night, my mind was comforted; and I felt what I esteemed a fresh confirmation, that it was the Lord's will I should pass through some further exercises near home.

So I went home, and still felt like a sojourner with my family, and in the fresh spring of pure love, had some labors in a private way amongst Friends, on a subject relating to Truth's testimony; under which I had frequently been exercised in heart for some years. I remember, as I walked on the road under this exercise, that passage in Ezekiel came fresh before me, "Whithersoever their faces were turned, thither they went"; and I was graciously helped to discharge my duty, in the fear and dread of the Almighty.

After a few weeks it pleased the Lord to visit me with a pleurisy; and after I had lain a few days, and felt the disorder very grievous, I was thoughtful how it might end.

I had, of late, through various exercises, been much weaned from the pleasant things of this life; and I now thought if it was the Lord's will to put an end to my labors, and graciously

receive me into the arms of his mercy, death would be acceptable to me; but if it was his will further to refine me under affliction, and make me, in any degree, useful in his church, I desired not to die. I may with thankfulness say, that in this case I felt resignedness wrought in me, and had no inclination to send for a doctor; believing if it was the Lord's will, through outward means, to raise me up, some sympathizing Friends would be sent to minister to me; who were accordingly. But though I was carefully attended, yet the disorder was at times so heavy, that I had no thoughts of recovery. One night in particular, my bodily distress was great; my feet grew cold, and cold increased up my legs towards my body, and at that time I had no inclination to ask my nurse to apply anything warm to my feet, expecting my end was near. After I had lain nearly ten hours in this condition, I closed my eyes, thinking whether I might now be delivered out of the body; but in these awful moments my mind was livingly opened to behold the church, and strong engagements were begotten in me, for the everlasting well-being of my fellow-creatures; and I felt in the spring of pure love, that I might remain some time longer in the body, in filling up according to my measure, that which remains of the afflictions of Christ, and in laboring for the good of the church. After this I requested my nurse to apply warmth to my feet, and I revived. The next night feeling a weighty exercise of spirit, and having a solid Friend sitting up with me, I requested him to write what I said; which he did, as follows:

"4th day of the first month, 1770, about five o'clock in the morning. I have seen in the light of the Lord, that the day is approaching when the man that is the most wise in human policy, shall be the greatest fool; and the arm that is mighty to support injustice, shall be broken to pieces. The enemies of righteousness shall make a terrible rattle, and shall mightily torment one another; for He that is omnipotent is rising up

to judgment, and will plead the cause of the oppressed; and he commanded me to open the vision."

Near a week after this, feeling my mind livingly opened, I sent for a neighbor, who, at my request, wrote as follows:

"The place of prayer is a precious habitation; for I now saw that the prayers of the saints were precious incense; and a trumpet was given me, that I might sound forth this language, that the children might hear it, and be invited to gather to this precious habitation, where the prayers of the saints, as precious incense, arise up before the throne of God and the Lamb — I saw this habitation to be safe; to be inwardly quiet, when there were great stirrings and commotions in the world.

"Prayer at this day, in pure resignation, is a precious place: the trumpet is sounded, the call goes forth to the church, that she gather to the place of pure inward prayer; and her habitation is safe."

CHAPTER XI

Preparing to visit Friends in England - Embarks at Chester, in company with Samuel Emlen, in a ship bound to London - His deep exercise, in observing the difficulties and hardships the common sailors are exposed to - Considerations on the dangers to which youths are exposed, in being trained to a sea-faring life; and its inconsistency with a pious education — Thoughts in a storm at sea; with many instructive contemplations on the voyage-Arrival at London.

HAVING been some time under a religious concern to prepare for crossing the seas, in order to visit Friends in the Northern parts of England, and more particularly in Yorkshire; after weighty consideration, I thought it expedient to inform Friends at our Monthly Meeting at Burlington of it; who having unity with me therein, gave me a certificate. I afterward communicated the same to our Quarterly Meeting, and they likewise certified their concurrence therewith. Some time after, at the General Spring Meeting of ministers and elders, I thought it my duty to acquaint them of the religious exercise which attended my mind; and they likewise signified their unity by a certificate, dated the 24th day of the third month, 1772, directed to Friends in Great Britain.

In the fourth month following, I thought the time was come for me to make some inquiry for a suitable conveyance; being apprehensive, that as my concern was principally toward the northern parts of England, it would be most proper to go in a vessel bound to Liverpool or Whitehaven. While I was at Philadelphia deliberating on this occasion, I was informed that my beloved friend Samuel Emlen, jr., intending to go to Lon

don, had taken passage for himself in the cabin of the ship called Mary and Elizabeth, of which James Sparks was master, and John Head of the city of Philadelphia, one of the owners; and I feeling a draft in my mind toward the steerage of the same ship, went first and opened to Samuel the feeling I had concerning it.

My beloved friend wept when I spoke to him, and appeared glad that I had thought of going in the vessel with him, though my prospect was toward the steerage; and he offering to go with me, we went on board, first into the cabin, a commodious room, and then into the steerage, where we sat down on a chest, the sailors being busy about us; the owner of the ship came and sat down with us.

Here my mind was turned toward Christ, the heavenly counsellor; and feeling at this time my own will subjected, my heart was contrite before him.

A motion was made by the owner to go and sit in the cabin, as a place more retired; but I felt easy to leave the ship, and made no agreement as to a passage in her; but told the owner, if I took a passage in the ship, I believed it would be in the steerage; but did not say much as to my exercise in that case.

After I went to my lodgings, and the case was a little known in town, a Friend laid before me the great inconvenience attending a passage in the steerage; which for a time appeared very discouraging to me.

I soon after went to bed, and my mind was under a deep exercise before the Lord, whose helping hand was manifested to me as I slept that night, and his love strengthened my heart. In the morning I went again with two Friends on board the vessel; and after a short time spent therein, I went with Samuel Emlen to the house of the owner; to whom in the hearing of Samuel, I opened my exercise in relation to a scruple I felt with regard to a passage in the cabin, which was in substance as follows:

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