fore him, and, with a twinkle in his eye, left the | me, and seein' a big tree on the ground I laid down office.

This little financial transaction over, our friend went straightway to the drug-store, and with a satisfied expression told the druggist that he would pay for that medicine now; he had fixed it all up with the doctor; and forking over the requisite sum he left. Upon comparing notes with the druggist a few days after, Dr. S was apprised of the sell that had been practiced on him, and the joke soon became known, but to this day he is decidedly sensitive on the subject of his military practice.

behind it, so they wouldn't hit me." "How did you feel while you was lying there?" asked the Captain. Said Sandy, "I just felt as if every hair of my head was a brass band, and every band playing Home, sweet Home!'"

6

AN officer at Atlanta, Georgia, writes to the Drawer:

In a late number of Harper I had the pleasure of reading some good anecdotes of that brave old German, Brigadier-General Matthies, formerly commanding a brigade in the Fifteenth Corps, but now resigned. When the number containing the anecdotes came out General M. was commanding at Decatur, Alabama. The "good ones" were read to him, in company with other officers, causing much hearty laughter, in which the General joined, and said they were true enough.

BARTIMEUS WILLARD, one of the early settlers of Egremont, Massachusetts, was a ready wit, a keen satirist, and a natural poet. He was one day at Lenox during session of County Court, and the lawyers there were much diverted with his poetical effusions and sallies of wit. One of the lawyers said to him, "Come, Barty, and take dinner with us; it sha'n't cost you any thing." He consented and accompanied the lawyers. One said to him, "Barty, we want you to ask a blessing." Barty, who made no pretension to religion, said, "Well, if I do I hope you will behave as men should do on such an occasion, and not make a mock of it; and I want some one to return thanks." One was accordingly appointed. All stood up around the table and Bar-ery point, General M., riding along the lines, enjoyty began thus:

"Lord of the climes,

Haste on the times

When death makes lawyers civil;

Lord stop their clack

And send them back

Unto their father devil.

Don't let this band
Infest our land,

Nor let these liars conquer;
Oh, let this club

Of Beelzebub

Insult our land no longer!

They are bad indeed
As the thistle weed,

Which chokes our fertile mowing;
Compare them nigh

To the Hessian fly,

Which kills our wheat when growing.
Come sudden death,

And cramp their breath,
Refine them well with brimstone;
And let them there

To hell repair,

And turn the devil's grin'stone."

The landlord said they ate but very little dinner; and the one appointed to return thanks rose, turned on his heel, and did not make the attempt.

PRETTY good for Sandy this is:

During the battle of Antietam the Eighth Connecticut Regiment, one company of which was commanded by Captain Tubbs, of Norwich, Connecticut, was ordered to a new field a little distant from the lines, to be on hand to check any advance there might be in that quarter from the enemy. It was not expected there would be any work for them to perform, and the Captain's servant, a stalwart darkey called Sandy, accompanied them to their new position; but hardly had they got there when the balls commenced to fly around like hail, wounding the Captain and cutting up the men. After the Captain had got to hospital and his servant had been found, the Captain began questioning him as to where he was during the fight. "Well," says Sandy, "I thought it was getting rather too hot for

Those anecdotes were good, but not better nor more characteristic than the following: Just before going into the engagement at Mission Ridge the General told Captain John —, one of his staff-officers, that if he should fall in the engagement he should take his sword and keep it in remembrance of him. Very soon, in the heat of the action, when our brave boys were driving the enemy at ev

ing the conflict, fell suddenly from his horse, wounded in the head. Captain John, seeing his beloved commander fall, rushed to the spot, threw himself from his saddle, kneeled down by the prostrate form, and began an examination to find whether indeed it were lifeless, when the General, recovering a little from the shock, opened his eyes, and seeing the Captain, who was fumbling about his sword-belt and uniform to loosen them, raised his hand as if in remonstrance, and said, in a feeble voice, "No, John; no, my dear John, you no get him yet, you no get him yet; I bees not dead!"

ANOTHER: While the General was commanding at Decatur, Alabama, last May, he had very strong works constructed round the town. One pleasant morning, as I was walking about, "a mere lookeron in Vienna," I happened to meet the General near where the men were at work, and said to him, "General, you will soon have your fort completed." "Yes," said he; "and as strong as pepper, as strong as pepper, Sir!"

A NEW ORLEANS correspondent writes:

I know that the Drawer is not the place for notices of new books, but perhaps it may admit a reference to a late English novel, for the sake of what is certainly one of the "curiosities of literature," and a very funny one.

I have lately happened upon and read a novel announced to be "by Lady Jane Scott, a daughterin-law of Sir Walter Scott." (Is the public expected to believe that the Lady Jane has inherited the genius of her father-in-law?) A passably good story, with some rather clever analysis of society in England, and two or three well-drawn charac ters, but with the absurdest incongruity in the dénouement. The first husband of the heroine, whom it is thought best to remove from this sublunary sphere, has a fall on a wharf, and breaks his arm badly. Mortification ensues, and the arm is amputated above the elbow. Quite an original incident for a novel, certainly, and one which the author, at least, might be expected to remember for a few

pages. But amputation was of no avail, was performed too late, and the poor fellow dies about ten pages after the operation. Just before he dies he calls his young and lovely wife and his friend, who is to be her second husband, to his bedside, and "takes the hand of his wife in one of his, and with the other seizes that of his friend."

where is the force? I have been waiting for that for some time!"

ANY one who has sojourned in Chicago, the "Garden City," for a fortnight can bear testimony to the abominable character of the aqueous fluid, as sometimes dispensed to the city by the Water Commissioners, and can perhaps appreciate the fol

THE following I vouch for as fact, as well as the lowing table-talk: preceding:

In the Academy located in Village, at one time, some years ago, albums became very popular among the fair ones. Among the gentlemen was a good-natured, careless, heedless fellow, by name Jim F, who, whatever other qualifications he might have lacked, had a large share of self-esteem. Miss Lucy had one of the nicest albums in school, which was sent to Jim, "with Miss Lucy's compliments, hoping he would favor her with something from his pen." Any thing original was, of course, beyond expectation; so he sat down to search the fields of poesy for something appropriate. At last he found it, as the following lines, copied from the good old "English Reader," attest:

"How loved, how valued once, avails thee not To whom related, or by whom begot; A heap of dust alone remains of thee, 'Tis all thou art, and all the proud shall be." It is needless to add that Jim's contributions were at a discount thereafter.

MR. SMITH (holding up a glass of water). “I
guess, Margaret, you forgot to filter this water."
MARGARET. "Indade, Sir, I filtered it as well as
I could, Sir."

MRS. SMITII. "How did you filter it, Margaret ?"
MARGARET. "Through flannel, ma'am."
MRS. SMITH. "Through flannel? Why, where
did you get flannel to make a filter?"

MARGARET. "Oh! I jist took one of your hushand's undershirts, ma'am."

MRS. SMITH. "Why, Margaret, I'm surprised at your doing such a thing."

MARGARET. "Oh, ma'am, I didn't take one of the clean ones; I jist took one out of the clothesbasket, ma'am."

A CORRESPONDENT in San Francisco writes to the Drawer:

The following, which is positively true, occurred in one of the so-called cow counties in this State, in the summer of 1859:

A lady who was authorized to act as agent OLD Venango is one of the counties of Western for the Mount Vernon Association called upon a Pennsylvania, and its county seat, sometimes call-wealthy neighbor, one of the District School Died "the nursery of great men," has had more char-rectors, and presented the subscription list to his acters in its history than most towns of the same lady, with the request that she should aid in the population. Among these was one known famil- patriotic object. Aunt Polly, as she was familiarly iarly as "Van," the proprietor of a restaurant, well called, said that her old man usually 'tended to the stocked with the popular drinks of the day. Al- money, and that when he came in from work he though in the liquor business, Van's friends claimed "mout give su hin' to'rd it." Soon the old man that he was doing more for the temperance cause presented himself, and, upon being requested to subthan any man in town, on the principle that he di- scribe, said that "he wa'n't acquainted much about luted his liquors so thoroughly with water as to sich affairs, and didn't know but thar mout be some render them harmless. humbug 'bout it." He wanted to know how the money was to be used, and disclaimed all knowledge of General Washington and Mount Vernon. He wanted to know how much the "old farm" was "a-going" to cost; and upon being told $250,000, he burst out with "Humph! I know it's a humbug now. Why, I've seen as fine farms as ever lay out door sell in old Kanetuck for five thousand. No, they can't catch me with any sich humbug as that. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars! Humph!" and the poor fellow went out to his work, probably counting on his fingers how many five-thousanddollar farms that would buy.

We have another character known as "the Major," famous for his politeness and harmlessness, but liable at times to become very thirsty. The Major one summer afternoon repaired to Van's grocery to indulge in a quiet bender. Seating himself in the back-room he commenced imbibing, all alone in his glory. After drinking all afternoon most persistently, and yet without the desired effect, he called Van, and with an exclamation better omitted in the recital, he declared his liquor was "the meanest he ever saw in his life, as the more he drank the more sober he grew!" The Major then returned home musing on the uncertainty of this world's pleasures.

On another occasion the Major called at the office of a young sprig of the law, Tom N-, who has since disappeared in the mazes of Secessiondom. A difficulty soon arose between them, resulting in Tom peremptorily ordering the Major out of his office. The latter not exhibiting a disposition to leave, Tom, who was more famous for strength of lungs than of muscle, assured him of his legal right to eject him forcibly, and taking a law-book from the shelf proceeded to read his authority for the use of just as much force as should be necessary for such ejectment.

"Very good," says the Major, with imperturbable gravity, and still occupying his seat; "but

A few days after this transpired I was relating the circumstance to a neighbor friend, a young man some twenty-five years of age, a good talker, and a heavy electioneerer at local elections. He listened with marked attention until I had got through, when, somewhat to my astonishment, he came out with, "Well, I've often hern tell of Washington, but don't know where he lives." I explained to him that he was the father of our country, and but for him and his co-operators we should not now be enjoying the liberties of a free people. He thanked me for the information, and promised that if our country called for aid that he should be "thar." He has kept his promise. The last I heard of him he was with Carlton's command in New Mexico, proving that the name of Washington is the watchword of at least one brave man.

country (California), who never heard the word "tailor." One day an older brother placed on him a dress-coat, and taking the shears he transformed it into a jacket. A neighbor coming to the house, the following conversation took place: "Good-morning, Albert! you have a new coat, for oil in the Volscian camp there; do you see the

A REASONABLE EXCUSE

MRS. BROWN.-"Why, how is this, Bridget? Nine o'clock, and the fire not made BRIDGET.-"Oh, ma'am, I was looking at my Photographic Album, un' forgot meself entirely!"

Fashions for February.

Furnished by Mr. G. BRODIE, 300 Canal Street, New York, and drawn by VOIGT from actual articles of Costume.

FIGURES 1 AND 2.-DINNER AND STREET TOILETS.