our nearest town, on the independent interest: that is to say, he had to bribe the best half of the corporation, and votes, of course, according to conscience, always with the Opposition. Oh! my Lord Wingham. I suppose he just came down to receive his rents and kill the pheasants for a week or two, and no doubt fancies that he does the country folks a great deal of honour by abusing their vulgarity and eating their dinners. What! Mr. Sandford, the agriculturist; he has invented I don't know how many new ploughs, weed extirpators, &c. and has tried ten thousand experiments; in consequence of which, his farm of course looks worse than any body's in the neighbourhood. That gentleman is a noted shot, the other a crack rider, and, as you may guess by his red face, a famous bottle companion. There," said he, pointing to a person with a sallow face and large loose frame of body, whose limbs seemed to dangle about without any connexion between them," goes a rich East Indian, who not many years ago bought a house and estate in the neighbourhood, and lives there like an Asiatic Prince. Such a quantity of attendants-such magnificent entertainments-every thing gilded and silvered over almost down to the pie-crust ;-then the rooms, so full of magnificent furniture, ivory cabinets, and precious gimcracks, that one is really afraid to move. The darkcomplexioned female with him is his wife, married in the country, and the fruits of this union are a swarm of copper-coloured children. An Indian nurse was brought over, merely because they cried at the thoughts of leaving her. In winter it is so cold that he dare not go out but in a carriage, and in summer he passes whole days reclining on a sofa in a light linen dress. He says he is fond of shooting, and sometimes goes out in September but that too he does quite like a Nabob. He himself rides on an easy pony; two attendants carry his guns, a third looks after the pointers, and a baggage mule follows. When the dogs make a stand, he takes his firelock, and leisurely takes his aim on horseback." He scarcely commented upon any of the ladies, excepting one elderly dame with three pretty daughters, who, he informed me, was a widow, and the best creature possible. can't remember how many schools she had established, how many dispensatories and saving banks she had set afoot or promoted, all of which institutions either she or her daughters regularly inspected. Besides, she was a thorough good church-going woman, who gave Prayer-Books as well as Bibles to her poor neighbours, and was a regular subscriber to the Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge. What should next meet my eye but a figure such as would certainly have arrested you and me in one of our walks in Windsor in search of oddities? Picture to yourself a furrowed weather-beaten countenance, a sharp and

I

prominent Roman nose, high bare cheek-bones, and a mouth horribly deformed by a great gash on the upper lip. To these you may add a body once tall and even gigantic, but now reduced to nothing but naked bone. All these peculiarities were fully displayed by an old black coat, with a waist considerably below even the fashionable lowness, a little star dangling on the breast, and a pair of light pantaloons, to use Shakspeare's expression,

"A world too wide for his shrunk shanks."

Picture to yourself, I say, a person answering this description, making his formal old-fashioned bow at the end of the room, and then walking onward with one hand in his pocket, and the other applying to his eye a little glass fastened to his neck by a gold chain. I eagerly inquired of my friend, after my first gaze of astonishment had subsided, who this old soldier was :—“ Oh!” said he," you know his profession, and consequently almost as much as I do. He will show you how Burgos might have been taken, although he himself was disabled from farther service by wounds received at the expedition against Walcheren, and will prove to a mathematical certainty how the battle of Waterloo might have been gained a day sooner, and with comparatively little bloodshed, although his information respecting it is only derived from the daily papers. He is a great stickler for the old discipline and tactics, and, by-the-bye, is not a little proud of that order of knighthood and that gold chain which was given him by some Prince or other for his former deserts. But look, here comes the master of the house. I cannot give you a better idea of his character than by telling you this single circumstance :-that I have lived his nearest neighbour now six years, and I know no more of him than I did at our first visit. You may guess from this that he is very shy; and equally economical; and, agreeably to these two prevalent passions, he prefers giving a grand entertainment two or three times a-year, to living sociably like other people. This plan suits his wife perfectly well, for she is fond of saving, and still fonder of show and ostentation. In fact, they seem exactly suited to each other. He, I have no doubt, up to the present time, has been employed in putting out the wine and carefully decanting it, for he would never trust the key of his cellar to a butler. She has been equally busy the whole of the morning in superintending jellies and making creams. Nobody, however, can dispute his being a gentleman. Her pretensions to the title of a lady are, I think, somewhat more equivocal. But look, do you see those two persons entering the hall? One is Sir Charles Radcliffe, the strong whig, and, as fame goes, a great rhodomontader; the short one is Captain Dory, his constant companion, an officer on half-pay, whose merits, as far as I can understand, consist in

being able to swallow as much wine as the Baronet chooses, to speak when he is spoken to, to ride and shoot at command, to play at billiards on a wet day, and as a principal duty, to back up with his word, if necessary, every suspicious assertion which his friend and master makes. In return, he lives well, has a good house over his head, keeps two horses without any expense, sees the best society, and in fact enjoys every thing except the liberty of doing with himself as he chooses."

The room was by this time very full, and the assembly, as I thought, completed, when a thorough Dandy was introduced. You are so well acquainted with these animals, that I have no need to describe his external appearance. I can only say that I do not think even Eton could turn out such a one. He was fashion all over;-fashionable in his dress, tone, and manner, and perhaps most fashionable in being later than every one else. Who," said I, "is this gay young man?" "What!" my informant replied, "he is one of my cloth-the curate to an old gentleman who is unable to perform his own duty. I see you are more surprised at my answer than I was at your question. He certainly is now a bit of a puppy, but that will wear off in time, and he will be as sober as I am when he becomes a vicar. He is in the habit of annoying me very much by constantly asking me to officiate in his place under some pretence or other, of going to see his friends at London or Bath; and whenever I happen to wish for a return of the favour, he is never in the way. But he is a good-natured well-meaning fellow, I believe, and besides, I hate to refuse."

I might have been honoured with a farther account, if a joyful messenger had not announced, to the satisfaction of the company, that dinner was on the table. It would have been worth while for you to have been there, if it were only to have seen Rowley's face, which had been heavy and dismal enough for some time, and now lightened up to a degree that I never witnessed even at the merriest meetings of the Club. He jumped up from his seat, opened his eyes, and most politely drew his chair out the way of some ladies who happened to be passing. There was such a confusion and delay about the order of precedence, that I longed for one of those ancient seneschals whom Scott is so fond of, with his gold-headed staff, who could tell a man's rank by a single glance, and could settle disputes by a single word. Our host was the most improper person in the world for such a task; however, at last they marshalled themselves and marched onwards to use the old Officer's phrase. Our hiding-place did not screen us from some very inquisitive eyeings, which I longed to return, but unluckily I had left my glass behind me, or I should have given the retort courteous with a vengeance. My friend, as the people

passed, said the party did not appear so large as usual, which he ascribed to the numbers who lived on the Continent, and the still greater number who were absent on the Queen's business, who would have formed the most distinguished part. We, like modest folks, brought up the rear. Rowley's looks were so much altered in a short time, that I could not help asking him what was the matter? "Nothing," said he, evidently betraying his apprehension, "nothing indeed, only all will be so cold." It was easy to supply what he meant, and I must allow his suspicions were well-grounded, not to mention that the dining-room was as naked and lofty, as full of doors and windows, as any temple of Eolus; one of the two fireplaces, built in the old hospitable times, was covered with a screen, after the notions of modern frugality. To make matters better, another stoppage was occasioned by the ridiculous punctilio of arranging the places at the table. At last these difficulties were overcome, and I found myself seated with Rowley on one side, and the warrior on the other, owing to the disproportionate quantity of ladies. As I am neither a great eater nor a good cook, I cannot give you an adequate idea of the venison, soups, champagne, &c.; I can only say that there was plenty of every thing, and every thing appeared to be good. If you want farther particulars, I must refer you to Rowley, who, I have no doubt, knows all the dishes by sight, and a good many of them more intimately. If I suf fered the cloth to be removed without having satisfied my appe→ tite, it was not from any want of attention on his part, for he never ceased every now and then recommending one thing or another, which he had found to be excellent by experience. How pathetically he lamented that they should not use those nice little lamps which keep the fricassees in a perpetual stew without the smallest trouble! But I shall never forget his consternation, when, after a long time and much exertion, a little lukewarm soup was brought to him in a plate, half cold. He said nothing, but his whole countenance changed colour, and I never before saw such a mingled expression of anger and dismay. This disappointment he made up for with some good slices of venison, ever and anon washed down with a glass of champagne, in which he bothered me to keep him company. Mrs. Thompson put me very much in mind of the physician who took such good care of Sancho Panza's health on his accession to the principality of Barrataria. The moment her poor husband had got any thing before him she interposed her rod." Bless me, my dear, what are you doing?—that same curry gave you the gout once before; let me give you a little wing of chicken, and send away that horrid spicy stuff;-you might as well eat poison. Re

member, you are but just recovered." The servant behind her understood the nod, and whisked away the dangerous viand before Mr. Thompson could say any thing against it. She would not

let him drink a glass of wine before she had herself tempered it with a quantum suff. of water. I plainly saw how he was tormented when any one asked him to drink a glass of Burgundy. He first looked at his wife, whose visage gave an evident veto, and then drawled out a reluctant No. Little did his good nurse foresee the ample amends he was about to make after her departure, for the restrictions she had put upon him at dinner. Our host did nothing but carve, scarcely opening his mouth, either to swallow or to speak: in the latter respect his lady fully made up for him. She was in a perpetual ferment, beckoning, calling, and whispering, to the servants. I observed her particularly attentive to Lord Wingham, who sat on her right hand. "Your Lordship has really ate nothing; let me persuade you to take a patty, or one of those cutlets." A significant shake of the head, accompanied with a polite excuse, changed her entreaties to condolence. "Dear me! I am so sorry! I am afraid there is nothing that your Lordship likes." I know not whether her pressing solicitations, frustrated by the inflexible Lord, took an oblique direction to the old officer; but certain it is that he acquitted himself like a campaigner, and even rivalled Rowley in the quantity, but not the variety of his food. Never was eating better studied, or talking less. No one person tried to be amusing. I listened in vain, with the hope of catching some bon mot; or what would do equally well, some attempt at one, that I might sport as my own the next time that the Club met, sure of not being detected by Rowley, who was, as usual, better employed, or by Burton, who was quite busied in a deep conversation with the East Indian, from whom he afterwards told me he received a great deal of information respecting the commercial laws of the Company, the comparative price which the native and imported articles bear, and many other useful particulars. Just at this time, when many had laid down their weapons altogether, and even the most persevering began to think they had done enough, the officer washed down his first course with a good tumbler of ale, better, I can tell you, by many degrees, than Garraway's Best, and employed his vacant interval between the two courses, in taking a deliberate view of my humble person. "Well," said he, "young man! I hear you are an Etonian-a very pretty thing to be, I dare say. Long before I was half as big or half as old as you, I carried my colours against those cursed Yankees. Fine amusement it was for a boy of sixteen to be popped at by some rascal or other, concealed behind every hedge to be beaten up five times every night with different alarms-fighting and starving all