the day, bivouacking all the night; always retreating but never beaten, till at last we retreated to old England. This is what I got by preferring the discipline of an army to the discipline of a school." I took advantage of a pause for breath, to ask him if he was ever quartered at Windsor. "Yes," he replied, " for a short time; there I used to see the Eton boys of that tinte, who, as far as I could judge, appeared to have nothing to do but to lounge and saunter about Windsor-but I was never kept upon the peace establishment, never intended for a painted sentinel. My pay and my promotion were not given me for nothing. Many a tough rub had I under the Duke of York, with the French revolutionary rabble, as they called them; but rabble or soldiers, they fought like devils. There the King of Prussia was pleased to give me this bauble," (he pointed to his star,) "I suppose I might have got myself styled Sir' when I came home again, but what is knighthood worth? Why every county Sheriff, every paltry Mayor, may have it if he pleases. Well, then, this expedition ended in retreat, and I returned Major-with an order and a wound. After this I was driven from Toulon, half blinded in Egypt; and, to crown all, disabled at Walcheren." Thus far, and another pause; the cloth had been removed for some time, and I could not invent any means of averting the threatened dissertation on the merits of old and new tactics, upon the advantage and respectability of powdered heads, long queues, long-tailed coats, and cocked hats, when the lady hostess opportunely and unexpectedly condescended to ask me some trivial question. In the mean time the indefatigable warrior fixed upon another victim; and I heard for a long time the ominous words, campaign, battle, commanding officer, sounded in my ears at intervals.

Shortly after this the Ladies retired, and every Gentleman, by a natural instinct, took a vacant seat, if it happened to be nearer the fire than his own. I, by a fortunate evolution, placed Rowley's insuperable taciturnity between me and this military lecturer, and freed myself from anxiety for the rest of the night. I never saw so sudden a change effected in a few minutes, as the one which now took place. The bottle went briskly round, and after the long silence there appeared to be quite a Babel of tongues, when in reality there was nothing more than sociable conversation. The first topic started was preserving game. Mr. Sandford said, that he gave all his tenants leave to shoot, course, and kill what they liked except foxes; as to the pheasants and partridges he cared not a farthing for them, and the rabbits and hares did so much mischief to the crops and young trees, that they were no better than vermin, and he wished heartily they were all extirpated. Mr. Thompson condemned the Game Laws as arbitrary and cruel-talked about the injustice of transporting a

man just for killing a few birds, and then selling them to keep his family; "surely the farmers had a right to them." His opinion was not much attended to; for, with his usual inconsistency, he was known to guard his manorial rights more strictly than any gentleman in the County." Mr. Thompson," said a person from the other end of the table, whose name I did not know," what became of the rascals whom you prosecuted at the last Assizes for poaching?" This somewhat staggered the advocate for liberty; however, he contrived to hatch an excuse." You are mistaken; they threatened my gamekeeper's life; what could I do?-they are only to be kept to hard labour in the hulks for a few years. The victory was complete, and the subject was dropped.

Next, by an easy consequence, came shooting adventures. Various were the opinions, all of high authority, about pointers, setters, and spaniels. Lord Wingham boasted greatly of his fifty guinea Manton, just turned out, and his beautiful new black bitch. Many, who had not opened their mouths before the whole night, gave out how much slaughter they had committed on the first days of September and October. But Sir C. Radcliffe at one stroke left them all far behind him.. He mentioned, as a singular circumstance, his having killed a wild duck at the distance of seventy yards, with a charge accidentally consisting of dust shot. They all looked at each other, and stared with astonishment. "Oh!" said Captain Dory, "I remember the circumstance which you allude to perfectly well; I was with you at the time; it happened as you were out snipe-shooting, just at that swamp between the Rivers. "Well done," rejoined the Baronet, "thanks to your good memory; really otherwise the thing would appear almost incredible. Do you recollect my favourite greyhound Pincher tumbling down a high chalk-pit with a hare in his mouth, and running another course afterwards?” “ Yes," said he, as well as I can any thing. We were some distance behind, when Daphne stood still on a sudden, and Pincher vanished altogether. I rode round, expecting to find him half dead, with all his bones broken; I jumped off my horse, and discovered that he had sustained no other injury than a sprain in one toe, which was probably done in the running before." This remarkable story introduced foxhunting in all its glory. We had spirited accounts from different hands of all the hard runs this season, embellished with every detail of local interest,-where they found, where they killed or were at fault, where Reynard took to earth,-not omitting the particulars of who were spilt, whose horses were knocked up, or left behind in the stiff country. I would give you one of them at length, but I can't remember the names. I assure you I enjoyed these chases very much, and longed for Musgrave to have been with us. Poor Mr. Thompson listened with great attention; he

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hoped his huntsman gave satisfaction."How," said he, "I curse my gout! I don't care for the pain nor for the lameness so much, but it prevents me from riding. They tell me I am getting better and better, but I never get well, and I am sure I never shall be well enough to halloo to my old pack. However, I am glad that it keeps up its former credit, and that my good friends can enjoy it better than myself." Hereupon the company drank his health, and a speedy return to the field. He thanked them in a short speech, but really rather an affecting one. "Stop! stop! Mr. Golightly," you will say, "don't launch into the pathetic."-

Well, next there was a violent tirade against some nameless person, who nevertheless appeared to be well understood, because it was suspected that he gave his gamekeeper orders to kill the foxes. This sacrilegious criminal did not escape without a good many execrations, and epithets far from equivocal. Mr. Sandford said he did not regard what harm the fox-hounds did to his crops and hedges; he liked to take a gallop with them now and then; it was as fair for one as the other; and as for the foxes he could not think why they should be persecuted: a few chickens killed now and then was the most harm they could do; in fact, they were not half so pernicions as those trumpery hares. A good many pretty surprising feats of horsemanship were related, which Sir Charles suffered to go on for some time, in order to obtain a more noble victory; and then, with one leap, properly attested and witnessed by the Captain, to use the words of the poet,

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"High o'erleapt all bound."

This wonderful flight (for I can call it nothing less) over so many feet of hedge and water, like all the worthy Baronet's actions of the same sort, of which he gave us a list afterwards, not unworthy of Munchausen, took place in Leicestershire, where, if we may believe him and his man, he keeps his stud and has a hunting seat. He has been asked frequently by the gentlemen here, and was on the present occasion, to take a day's sport with them; they have offered to mount and equip him, but he has always evaded it in some way or other, which renders his veracity in these accounts rather suspected.

I wondered that politics had been so long delayed, and now they burst forth with wonderful violence. The pending Trial of the Queen, the conduct of the Ministers, and fifty other hackneyed topics, upon which Wentworth and you have argued so frequently, gave rise to a debate, if not quite as clever, as least as furious, as any that ever took place within the Parliament walls. The master of the house, dreadfully frightened, out of his anxiety to prevent any quarrel, increased the tumult, by always giving, like Lozell, his assent to the last opinion that was delivered. I never before understood so plainly the grand advantage of Rule VIII,

in our Club. Wentworth would have been a valuable acquisition to the Whig side, which consisted of Sir Charles, the M.P., who, I suppose, thought himself bound to show off, and another gentleman; but this trio fully made up for the deficiency of their numbers and their arguments by their indefatigable tongues. At last our terrified host proposed an adjournment to the ladies, as the only way of effecting a truce between the contending parties. This I was heartily glad of, for nothing was said that you do not know as well as if you had been present; besides you may judge that we had sat pretty late.

The drawing-room was now furnished with a variety of cardtables; and tea, coffee, and cakes flew about unceasingly. Burton told me that he looked forward with much pleasure to a pool at commerce. Rowley, I verily believe, would have had no objection to a good supper when the cards were finished; and I was in some hopes of raising a quadrille, and had fixed upon my partner, though I won't tell you her name. In case of the failure of that scheme, I proposed a second conference with the clergyman. However, Mr. Seymour was afraid of being enlisted in some rubbers of long whist, so, under pretence of his distance, he ordered his carriage, and cut short Rowley's supper, Burton's commerce, and my quadrilles. I shook my nomenclator by the hand, made some respectful bows, and, as I went home, talked over the adventures of the evening.

Burton has evidently collected a great deal for his Essay on the Main Chance.

If you ever get as far as this, you will thank me for sitting up half the night to write this long epistle.

Compliments to the Knave and the rest of you.

Yours, &c.

F. GOLIGHTLY.

P.S. Make excuses for our non-attendance at the next Meeting. I shall certainly, when I come to Eton, send an "Etonian" down here to surprise them.

To Peregrine Courtenay, Esq. President of the King of Clubs,

Editor of "the Etonian," &c.

WE intend, with the permission of Mr. John Smith, to present our readers with a few observations upon Hair-dressing. Before we enter upon this topic, which we shall certainly treat capitally, we must assure the respectable individual above alluded to, that it is our intention in no respect to assume to ourselves the shears which he has so long and so successfully wielded. We should be sorry to encroach upon the privileges, or to step into the shoes of so respectable a member of the community. We have a real veneration for his pointed scissars, and his no less pointed narratives, although our ears are occasionally outraged by both, since the first deal occasionally in the Tmesis, and the latter more frequently in the Hyperbole. Long may he continue in the undisturbed possession of those rights which he so deservedly enjoys; long may he continue to restore its youthful polish to the whiskered lip, and to prune with tonsoric scythe the luxuriance of our capillary excrescences.

The last paragraph is from the pen of Allen Le Blanc. We must pull him down from his high horse, and remount our ambling hobby. As we observed, it is not our intention to provoke any competition or comparison with Mr. J. Smith in the science of Hair-dressing. We shall treat of a branch of the profession totally distinct from that which is exercised by the worthy tortor, or distortor of curls. We propose to discuss Hair-dressing as a test of character, and to show how you may guess at the contents of the inside of the head, by an inspection of the cultivation of the outside of it.

The difficulty we experience in reading the hearts of men is a trite subject of declamation. We find some men celebrated for their discrimination of character, while others are in the same proportion blamed for their want of it. The country Maiden has no means of looking into the intentions of her Adører until she has been unfeelingly deserted; and the Town Pigeon has no means of scrutinizing the honour of his Greek until he has been bit for a thousand. These are lamentable, and, alas! frequent cases. The prescriptions of the regular philosophers have had but little effect in the prevention of them. The idea of Horace, torquere mero quem perspexisse laborant," has but little influence, since the illiterate, who are most frequently in want of assistance, have seldom the cash requisite to procure the necessary merum. Allow us then to recommend our nostrum.