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throne, and the punch-bowl, which, as Mr. Musgrave expressed it, seemed to have taken off its horses at the O'Connor Public-house, was handed to the top of the table. Sir Thomas threw himself on one knee.—The scene was most impressive. The Secretary was called upon to read the Oath of Fealty, which I did in a clerkly manner.
“ You shall swear faithful vassalage to your liege Lord the King of Clubs, his crown and dignity; you shall swear to drink his health, once a week, in Champaigne, Claret, Port, Panch, or Porter, as seemeth to you best; you shall swear to do what you can for the amusement of your schoolfellows, whether by prose or verse, wit or absurdity, song or sonnet, as seemeth to you best : all this you shall swear in the name of your liege Lord the King, and the Club which he wields, and the Punch which he drinks.”
Then Sir Thomas, laying his hand to his heart, replied, with all the originality of expression for which he is so deservedly celebrated,
“I SWEAR.” The Ceremony was completed by compotation. Each Member, in succession, drank to the health of his new fellow-subject, who returned the compliment by turns to the whole body of his future associates. By the time he had arrived at the end of the list, he was evidently on terms of familiarity with every gentleman present, and felt himself (to use his own expression) “a Good Fellow to the bottom of the soul and the bottom of the bowl.”
Some conversation arose among a few gentlemen who felt doubts upon the meaning of Sir T. Nesbit's expression, “ a Good Fellow.”—Mr. Le Blanc understood it to mean “ Regiæ Societatis Socius,” “ a Member of the King of Clubs.” Mr. Sterling hoped no sarcasm was intended at the Fellows of the College, many of whom he was sure were sincere friends to the undertaking. Sir T. Nesbit was finally requested to draw up a few remarks on the words in question, and to publish the said remarks in “ The Etonian,” under the title of “Sir Thomas Nesbit's Definition of a Good Fellow.” Sir Thomas promised to comply with the wish of the Meeting, and concluded a neat address by paying a high and deserved compliment to Mr. Golightly, who, he was sure, although he asked for a definition of a Good Fellow, was by no means in want of a definition of “Good Punch.”—N. B. The bowl had been replenished.
MR. BURTON'S SONNET ON THE ASSES’-BRIDGE. Here the harmony of the Meeting was disturbed by loud snoring from Mr. Burton. Gerard Montgomery was preparing to wake him from these delicious slumbers, when a small piece of neat Bath paper was observed projecting from his waistcoat-pocket. Gerard motioned to the company to be silent, and deprived the unconscious sleeper of the treasure. Gerard immediately proceeded to unfold the precious MS., and gave much entertainment to the Meeting by the recital of Mr. Burton's first offering to the Muses.
WRITTEN ON THE ASSESS-BRIDGE.
« The Asses’-Bridge, for ages doom'd to bear
The deafening surge assault his wooden ear."-CANNING.
Lookest serenely from these columns high,
B C, F G, D Е, beneath thee lie:
Like a Colossus; and thy subject letters,
Beneath thee bound in Adamantine fetters,
To top the cloud-conceald Olympus_vain,
Vain was the toil !-Labour, and Rout, and Pain
Mr. BURTON, upon his waking, (which event was possibly occasioned, or rather, accelerated, by the laughter and cheers of the Club), was saluted by the congratulations of all his friends, which he received with an affected appearance of astonishment, and look of conscious satisfaction, which gave room for conjecture that he had heard all that passed, feigning sleep in order to save blushes.
The above Sonnet, in its original state, was without the figure which we have prefixed; and was therefore somewhat unintelligible. Mr. STERLING for Great A suggested Grant-A, and supposed the Sonnet to be addressed to Cambridge. The fourth line he would read thus,—“B.A.M.A.D.D.,” which he would explain-Bachelor of Arts, Master of Arts, Doctor of Divinity. For “ thy” in line 6 he would insert “the”—“ The arts,"_" The letters." The rest of the Sonnet he thought might be addressed with equal propriety figuratively to Cambridge.
Mr. Le Blanc had no doubt the Sonnet was figurative, but differed from his Honourable Friend as to its meaning. We were indebted to Mr. Le Blanc for the construction we have put upon it, which was afterwards allowed to be correct by Mr. Burton.
Mr. GOLIGHTLY quoted from Shakspeare
• Why! Man, be doth bestride this narrow world,
Like a Colossus !" The Hon. GERARD MONTGOMERY considered Mr. Burton's Sonnet excellent, in every respect, save only the comparison of Jupiter with Great A.
Mr. LE BLANC was proceeding to justify the comparison, by an allusion to the “ Alpha and Omega" of Scripture, when he was silenced by an authoritative “ Order!” from Mr. Martin Sterling.
Mr. O'Connor had no doubt it was all very fine, but as he did not underderstand Algebra, he could not be expected to enter into the spirit of “ Great A.”
Sir FRANCIS WENTWORTH wondered that poets should concur in their censure of the insurrection of the Titans ; he conceived that at the epoch alluded to, Olympus would evidently have been the better for a Radical Reform (the Hon. Baronet was stopped, as usual, by cries of'" No Politics.")
MR. BURTON'S PROPOSED EPIC. Mr. BURTON said, he was happy to hear his first attempt at versification applauded in terms so much higher than he had calculated upon. The approbation he had received might possibly induce him to continue a plan he had in contemplation, which had at least the merit of novelty. He intended, for the use of young mathematicians, to subtract somewhat from what some persons called the gravity of Euclid, by the addition of a bit of rhyme to each proposition. Nay! he had some thoughts of joining the several products, and connecting them in such a manner, that their total would amount to a tolerable Epic.(Hear.)
The Hon. G. MONTGOMERY, although he did not object to the little jeu d'esprit before them, would certainly oppose the insertion of an Epic, the argument of which would be that AB=CD.--(Laughter.)
Mr. ALLEN LE BLANC said it would be as easy to fetter Enceladus with bands of roses, as to confine the clear definitions, the admirable arguments, the convincing conclusions of mathematics, within the futile and nugatory chains of sacrilegious Thalia.-(Hear, hear.)
Sir F. WENTWORTH could not but declare his conviction that a Treaty of Alliance between the republics of Algebra and Poetry, would be alike ruinous to both parties. (Hear, hear.) .
Mr. MUSGRAVE thought that Rhyme and Mathematics had always been Opposition Coaches. He was no friend to “ The Union,” and protested vehemently against “ Double Bodies.” -(Laughter.)
Mr. OAKLEY told us what his opinion was, or rather, what it was not, in these words ;-I do not mean to approve of the idea started by my Honourable Friend Mr. Burton; still I cannot admit the position laid down by Mr. Le Blanc.—(Laughter.)—I differ in an equal degree from Mr. Montgomery and Sir F. Wentworth. Mr. Musgrave's observation I do not conceive to be worth a contradiction.-(Laughter.)
Mr. BURTON rose with a countenance somewhat expressive of chagrin, and spoke nearly as follows :-The majority of the Meeting appear to think
that Poetry is incompatible with Mathematics. I shall endeavour to prove the contrary by a comparison of a Proposition 'with an Epie, which I shall present to No. III. I hope every one will forbear to make up his mind upon this point until he has read the said article.(Hear, hear, hear.) MR. BURTON'S MISBEHAVIOUR PRODUCTIVE OF AN IMPORTANT MOTION.
The CHAIRMAN then rose
“ As the discussion of Mr. Burton's threatened Epic seems at an end, I wish to call the attention of the Meeting to an impropriety in the Honourable Gentleman's conduct, which I am sure they will perceive and reprove. Mr. John Burton has gone to sleep in the Club-Room. This, gentlemen, is a practice which, if persevered in, will be productive of the most lamentable effects. What becomes of the dignity of the King of Clubs if his subjects are allowed to throw off the respect which is due to him, and to insult the presence of Majesty by an irreverent snore.-(Hear, hear.) But this, gentlemen, is not the only, nor is it the greatest evil attendant upon this disloyal Practice. I am willing to make allowances for the frailty of Human Nature; I am willing to admit that the business of the Club may occasionally be too dull to amuse the lower end of the Table-and on these grounds I should be disposed to concede to its occupiers a short space of repose, were I not persuaded to the contrary by another reason, which I am sure will have great weight in deciding your opinions. Gentlemen, if a Member is permitted to sleep he is by the same regulation permitted to dream.-(Hear, hear! from Mr. Lozell..It is very difficult, when we compose ourselves to sleep after drinking deep of the inspiration which is on the table, to divest ourselves of the airy visions which hover fantastically round our slumbers. But these Shapes of the Imagination will never go down with the Public. (Hear, hear, hear.) We really must not dream in the Club-room.- (Hear, hear !) I will prove to you the necessity of adopting some regulation on this subject, by informing you of the Dreams which have already been dreamt in the service of “The Etonian."_" Love's young Dream” by the Hon. Gerard Montgomery. “The Dream of Mawse Muckleskirl” by Mr. Alexander M‘Farlane. “The Vision of Marglip, an Allegory," by Mr. Martin Sterling. “Somnium Stoici" by Mr. Allen Le Blanc. From this, it must be obvious to you, that were we to license the slumbers of the Members of the Club, we should infallibly contribute to the slumbers of our readers, and in this point I must confess I have no desire to be serviceable to our fellowcitizens.--(Loud shouts of hear, hear.)-Before I counteract the effect of my observations by sending you to sleep, I will conclude by moving “that no Member be allowed to sleep in the Club-Room; and that Mr. Secretary Hodgson be directed to insert the said clause after Resolution X.” -(Heur ! hear :)
Sir T. NEBBIT rose to second the motion
“I must-adduce;” said the worthy Baronet, "an argument on the subject, which seems to have escaped the notice of the Honourable President. If gentlemen are allowed to go to sleep, there will be an end of all Good Fellowship and Conviviality.—No laughter' will resound-no 1
hear' will be uttered-no jokes will be cut-finally, gentlemen, no Punch will be drunk.--You saw the delay occasioned by Mr. Burton's nap.--For these reasons I most cordially second the motion of the Worthy President.”
The Honourable GERARD MONTGOMERY implored the Meeting to take into their consideration,
“Quandoque bonus dormitat Homerus.” Sir F. WENTWORTH protested most strongly against this unprecedented and unwarranted infringement on the liberties of the subject.-All periodical Writers had hitherto exercised the right of expressing their thoughts in this manner, and he could see no reason for denying sleep to the King of Clubs. -(Hear.) Mr. GOLIGHTLY could not check his inclination to quote“O, gentle Sleep!—
Why liest thou with the vile In loathsome beds, and lear'st the Kingly couch," &c. Mr. MUSGRAVE did not precisely understand the Hon. Gentleman who spoke last, but by his talking of “ the Kingly coach,” he supposed some allusion was meant to the “ Royal Eton Mail,” mentioned in No. I. p. 22. -(Laughter.)
The Question was then put, and carried by a majority of three in favour of the motion :
· M'Farlane, A.
Teller-J. Burton. Mr. PEREGRINE COURTENAY said, that in consequence of the unusually large number of Members who had voted in the Minority, he would modify in some measure the rigour of the restriction by the following proposal:Any Member was at liberty to come to him (Mr. Courtenay) to explain upon what subject it was his wish to dream ; and if such subject should be one which had never been dreamed upon before, Mr. Courtenay would promise to submit it to the decision of the Club, whether the said Member should not be allowed to Dream.-(Hear, hear, hear!)
PETITION FROM JEREMY GUBBINS. Mr. Burton rose and stated, that he had been requested by a very worthy individual, Mr. Jeremy Gubbins, to present to the King of Clubs the Petition which he held in his hand. He would not anticipate the amusement of his hearers by giving any accouut of its subject or purpose, but would merely state that it contained nothing disrespectful to the Club. The Honourable Gentleman concluded by desiring that the Petition be read by the Secretary.
The Petition having been read accordingly, the Honourable Member moved _" that this Petition be received, and do lie on the Table, to be taken into consideration at the next meeting of the Club."
The motion was seconded by Mr. MARTIN STERLING, and was carried Nem. Diss.