hand quoting from Paley, and Le Blanc on his left elucidating the theory of

atoms.

JOESPH LOZELL and MICHAEL OAKLEY afford so perfect a contrast to each other, that I shall take the liberty of introducing them hand-in-hand to the reader. The first is in the constant habit of assenting to the opinions of the last speaker; the latter is in the habit of assenting to no opinion at all. The first is a pliant courtier, disposed to keep in with all parties; the latter is a sturdy disputant, resolved to contend with the greatest pertinacity on every point which is advanced. Their characters are touched with the hand of a master in Patrick's last "capital good song,"

"There's a wonderful likeness in Michael and Joe;

For the one is all 'Yes,' and the other all 'No.'"

And now, reader, I have only one more character to introduce to your notice, viz. that of your humble servant, RICHARD HODGSON, Secretary, officially designated "Knave of Clubs." The description of one's own qualifications is to most persons a very difficult and a very invidious task; but in my case the difficulty is easily obviated, as I profess to have no character of my own, but must speak, write, and act, as my employers desire. Reporting by turns the sentiments of Montgomery, of Le Blanc, and of Sterling, I shall wear by turns the dress of the poet, the philosopher, and the divine; while occasionally I shall give you the pedigree of a hunter from the pen of Robert Musgrave, or a receipt for an inimitable soup from the scrapbook of William Rowley. In short, you will find that I understand all sciences, and take upon myself all dispositions,

"Grammaticus, Rhetor, Geometres, Pictor, Aliptes,

Augur, Schoenobates, Medicus, Magus-omnia novi."

To continue my quotation, I will subjoin,—

"in cœlum, jusseris, ibo,"

which Dr. Johnson translates,

"And bid him go to Hell, to Hell he goes;"

but which, in my case, may be rendered,

"I'll go to the Devil* whenever you please."

I now hasten to resume the detail of the proceedings which ensued upon the Chairman's giving notice that there was business before the house. When the acclamations, with which the party received the patriotic toast, before recorded, had subsided, PEREGRINE COURTENAY rose and opened the subject somewhat to the following effect:

"GENTLEMEN, The enthusiasm which I have just seen manifested by every member of our excellent institution, has convinced me that no flowers of rhetoric, no subtile arguments of logic, are here necessary in behalf of the good cause, the real interests of Eton (Hear, hear, hear.)—The reputation of our foster-mother should be handed down from generation to generation in undiminished lustre. The much-admired writings of Griffin and of Grildrig, and the rich stores of the Musæ Etonenses, were bequeathed to us, not merely as ornamental heir-looms for our libraries, but as spirit-stirring incitements for our initation; and how have we answered the claims so justly * Scilicet The Printer's.-R. H.

made upon us? Where are the publications which are to support the renown earned in the olden time by the pens of our illustrious predecessors? Are we, Gentlemen, are we, I say, to look for them in the pages of— The Saltbearer?'"

(Here the President was interrupted by an universal murmur of indignation, in the midst of which MICHAEL OAKLEY rose, and, with much difficulty, succeeded in making himself heard.)

"Mr. President,-I dissent from, in limine, and disapprove of, in toto, any mention of The Saltbearer.' The Saltbearer' has done nothing,—(Heur, hear, hear,)—and is nothing to us; and I don't see what right we have to meddle with him."

("Very true.”—from JOSEPH Lozell.)

MARTIN STERLING rose. It was evident that strong scruples had pervaded the minds of the Meeting, as to the propriety of attacking their schoolfellow, and all appeared anxious to hear the opinion of a gentleman who bore so high a character for honour and integrity as Mr. Sterling. His speech was delivered nearly in the following words :

“GENTLEMEN,—I will state to you briefly the reasons' which induced me to hope that our worthy President may be allowed to continue his remarks on the Eton Salt-bearer.' In the first place, I think we shall act with perfect justice towards the Editor of that work, if we take his conduct as the rule for ours. Has Mr. Book-worm shown any regard for the characters of his fellow-citizens? The whole of his work is calculated to bring disgrace upon the school collectively, and upon each of us individually.—(Hear, hear.) —His three Numbers appear to me deliberate libels upon the abilities of our generation; but I am more particularly disgusted with the indecorous and unjust insinuation conveyed by the letter of Senex, in No. III., which attributes to the Etonians of the present day, not merely a thoughtless foible, or a casual error, but a malicious spirit of ill-nature, by which I am sure our schoolfellows are never influenced.-(Cries of Right, right, never!)-But, independent of these considerations, I am of opinion that the President should state at once the motives on which he grounds a design, which I understand he is about to submit to us; that this design may stand or fall by those motives."(Hear, hear, hear.)

Mr. OAKLEY attempted no reply, but preserved a sullen silence; upon which the President resumed:

"GENTLEMEN,-It is of course a disagreeable task to speak with severity of a schoolfellow; and I shall therefore only allude to The Saltbearer' as far as is necessary for the prosecution of my own design. The murmurs, which I have just heard, prove to me that your opinion of the work coincides with my own.-(Perfectly, from Lozell;-No, from Oakley.) You think with me, that the work is not calculated to reflect credit on Eton. You may, perhaps, answer, that the publication was set on foot without the concurrence, or even the knowledge of the senior members of the school, and persisted in, notwithstanding the decided disapprobation of the community at large. (Hear, hear, hear.) This, to be sure, is well known within he bounds of the College; and to some few at the Universities who keep up

6

a direct communication with Eton. But it is not so with the majority of those, who, from old associations; or a respect for the school, interest themselves in its welfare; and were gratified with the annunciation of the work, though disappointed and disgusted with the execution.-(Hear.)-By readers of this description it is believed, that the united efforts of Etonian talent are concentrated in The Salt-bearer.' Let it be remembered also, that the jealousy of other public schools is anxiously on the watch for an instance of our degradation in literature, and equally ready to take any advantage, as a certain one proved itself upon occasion of the paltry victory which it gained over us in the cricket field. The Salt-bearer,' Gentlemen, has gone forth to battle in the name of you all!(Murmurs.)-I perceive that you thinkyou feel as I do ; and I will therefore no longer delay the question which Ipropose for discussion: What remedy is to be devised for the evil your complained of?” ”

6

Here the confusion was so great, in consequence of the number of Gentlemen who delivered their opinions at the same time, that it is impossible for me to report the proceedings with any degree of accuracy. GOLIGHTLY wished to know in what manner the title of Salt-bearer' was applicable to the work in question?-Sir FRANCIS defended the name, as fit and appropriate, for Mr. B. B. had really acted the part of a Montem Salt-bearer; who gives you a bit of worthless paper in exchange for sterling money.-Sir Francis was proceeding, when his voice became inaudible, amidst loud shouts of applause, intermingled with faint cries of Order, order !-No politics !Mr. LOZELL chimed in with each member's opinion, with a decidedly," obviously, no doubt;" to which Mr. OAKLEY subjoined his "nonsense,” "absurd," "ridiculous."

99.66

The tumult having subsided, the PRESIDENT resumed :

“Gentlemen,—I will therefore detain from you no longer the proposition I have to submit to you. It is my earnest recommendation that we should endeavour to efface, by our own efforts, humble as they may be, the effects produced by the Eton Salt-bearer; and that for this purpose a periódicali publication be immediately started, under the auspices of the King of Clubs." The warmth and eagerness which had been evinced by several Honourable Gentlemen for an opportunity to express their sentiments, died into perfect silence; except that Mr. Musgrave continued to mutter, with a truly ludi- · crous nonchalance, "strange new coach ;"-" cursed rough road ;”—“ take care your cattle, are in good condition before you leave the office." A mistrust of their own powers, accompanied by a due sense of the importance and difficulty of the attempt, prevented the other members from closing with the plan, and expressing the satisfaction they felt at the proposal of it. Each remained looking on his neighbour; and there were two or three murmurs of "interference with study ;"-" danger of ridicule ;"-" disapproved of by those in authority."

Mr. COURTENAY, in a luminous and forcible manner, obviated these objections to his proposal. He represented, that the few hours which the prosecution of this design would occupy, need not interfere in the slightest

degree with those studies, which ought, of course, to be our primary consideration; and that the advantages to be derived from the early cultivation of English composition would amply compensate for the inroads it would make upon our leisure hours. He argued that the world at large, and our fellowcitizens in particular, would be far from casting ridicule on a work begun from praiseworthy motives, and continued on honourable principles.— (Hear, hear.)-He next pointed out the absurdity of the idea, that our instructors, whose constant hope is for our welfare, whose constant study is for our improvement, should object to a work, whose principal design is to remove the obloquy which has been brought, by means of "The Salt-bearer," both on the talents of the School, and the attention of its conductors.— -(Hear, hear.)-The worthy Chairman then closed his remarks in the following manner:- -"there is still one objection to my design, which I deem it proper to notice; it has been frequently urged, that it is the province of boys rather to learn than to teach. I acquiesce, Gentlemen, in the justice of this remark; and I am of opinion that our progress in learning would be very much furthered by the adoption of my proposal. For we shall find it necessary to read before we can write; before we discuss a subject, we must learn what has been said of it by older and wiser men:, and we shall thus combine the improvement of ourselves with the amusement of our schoolfellows.— (Applause.) I will now. detain you no longer.-If you think that I have successfully combated the objections which your diffidence has brought forward, I can assure you that you will find in the citizens of our little world a competent and an unprejudiced jury."

The worthy President resumed his seat amidst loud and repeated cheering. The Hon. GERARD MONTGOMERY supported the Chairman's arguments with great ability.

that

It is needless to pursue the Hon. Gentleman's arguments; his efforts, combined with those of the President, produced such complete success, the feeling of the Meeting appeared to be unanimous, and even Oakley refrained from expressing his dissent.

The PRESIDENT then rose, and briefly addressed the assembly as follows :— “GENTLEMEN,—Finding that you are agreed on the subject of my original proposal, I will beg your attention, while I submit to your consideration a list of Resolutions which I hold in my hand. For this purpose I move that the House do now resolve itself into a Committee.

Sir FRANCIS WENTWORTH Seconded the motion; which was carried, diss.

nem.

The Committee having duly considered the Resolutions laid before them by the Chairman, and several additions and omissions having taken place in the original copy, at the instance of various members, Mr. P. Courtenay was requested to resume the Chair, and to read over the Resolutions in their amended state. They were as follows:

RESOLVED,

I. That a new Publication be set on foot by the King of Clubs.
II. That the said work be called "THE ETONIAN."

III. That the said work appear in Monthly Numbers, on the plan of a Miscellany, calculated to embrace every species, of composition, except those hereafter to be specified.

IV. That although the Members of the Club conceive the publication of youthful productions to be in general detrimental to the prospects of maturity; yet, under existing circumstances, they feel that they act properly in courting that publicity, which is contrary, certainly to their wishes, and probably to their interests.

V. That the Members of the Club consider it the duty of all those who are interested in upholding the reputation of Eton, and more especially the Members of the Club, to lend their strenuous and hearty support to the undertaking, and that they be cordially invited thereto.

VI. That no article be received which is not certified to have been the bona fide production of an Etonian.

VII. That all religious controversy be excluded.

VIII. That no articles of a political tendency be admitted.

IX. That all satirical allusions of a personal nature be carefully avoided. X. That no translations (however good) be accepted.

XI. That a difference in opinion with the Members of the Club be no impediment to the insertion of articles which may, in other respects, be deemed worthy of publication.

XII. That no anonymous contributions be inserted.

XIII. That bashful writers, in sending their favours to the Club, be directed to inclose their names in a separate scrap of paper, which paper shall be destroyed unopened, in the event of the rejection of the article which it accompanies.

XIV. That the strictest secrecy be observed by the Members of the Club with regard to the contributions of their correspondents.

XV. That the Club do meet de die in diem, for the inspection of articles, and transaction of general business.

XVI. That communications (post paid) be addressed to the care of Mr. C. KNIGHT, Castle-street, Windsor.

XVII. That Mr. Secretary HODGSON be requested to report from time to time the proceedings of the Club.

XVIII. That the conductors of the work do not consider themselves qualified to act as censors of our little community.

XIX. That to impute to their fellow-citizens any follies which are not in actual existence, be considered dishonourable, and unbecoming the character of an Etonian.

XX. That the Members of the Club forbear to attack, with severity, the harmless follies which do really exist among their companions, to which they consider themselves equally liable with the rest of their schoolfellows.

XXI. That, in particular, they have no objection to a pot of beer.

XXII. That (with all due deference to Mr. Benjamin Bookworm) it is their opinion, that an Etonian may occasionally smoke a cigar without being considered a blackguard.

XXIII. That an assumed superiority over his schoolfellows does not, in our opinion, constitute "a clever fellow."

XXIV. That any Member or Members who shall endeavour, in any way, to undermine the credit of the publication, be considered guilty of high treason against the King of Clubs, his crown and dignity; and that such Member or Members be sentenced to write an article (the length to be determined by the Club), on pain of immediate expulsion.

XXV. That any Member or Members who use not their best endeavours for the furtherance of this design, be considered guilty of petty treason against the aforesaid King of Clubs, his crown and dignity; and that the penalty of such offence be the purchase of a proportionate number of copies.