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" I see ye're a new mimber, sir, an' not dress sittin on both sides in two things like used to the ways of the metropolis. I'll large coal scuttles turned up on ind. Wan show you the entrance to the House." ov them jumps up an' says
We went in at the doores, an' there was “Where are you going, sir ?” the biggest and beautifullest place that “ Intil the House ov Commons,” says I. ever me eyes beheld, wid a roof an' stained “ You can't go in, sir. Only members windas like a church, an' images all along are admitted," says he. wan side, which the peeler towld me was "I'm a mimber," says I. the works of Ayrton, a celebrated sculp- They both laughed, an' says the other ther. But it turned out to be a mistake, “ Come, sir, we can't let you stop the for he's now drinkin brandy-and-water be- way. Stand aside if you please, or I'll side me in the smoking-room, an' he's hand you over to the police. You must be called the “Aydile ov the people," a name drunk.” I don't understhan, but it's clear it don't On that word I stepped back two paces, mane an idol, from what I know. The an’ with a whirra an' a shout, I sazed me constable showed me through the side shillelagh, which was in me han' at the time, doore an' towld me to folla me nose up an' I screeched outthe lobby. I took his advice an' that “ I'm a mimber for Rashkillen to the brought me to a grate place full ov people House ov Commons ov the United Kingstandin about wid their hats on. “Sure," dom ov Grate Britan an' Ireland. I'm for says I to meself, “ this is the House ov Civil and Religious Liberty, Home Rule, Commons.” But another polishman comes an' Denominashunal Educashun; an' by up to me an' says
the powers, if you two little skulking bla“Member, sir?"
guards don't get out ov the doore an' let “I am; is this the House ?”
me intil the house I'll brake ivery bone ov “ No sir, this is the lobby; the entrance yer bodies." to the House is through that doorway." Iv'ry wan in the lobby turned round an'
I felt very quare at the sthrangeness ov shouted “Silence !”-it's more partikler the place, an' observin there was glasses they are about silence outside than they are an' bottles on a counter at wan side ov the inside the house and three peelers came house, I stepped up an' called for a dhrop forward. There was about to be a gineral ov the crather.
shindy, for Tully O'More's nevvy stood to “Ov the what, sir?" says the man. me with a soda-wather bottle, when a pleas“ The crather," says I.
ant-looking jintleman stepped up to me “Och," says he, “what part do ye come an' said, “ Are you Mr. Barney Geoghefrom ?"
gan, the new mimber for Rashkillen ?" “ Rashkillen," says I.
“ Thrue for ye,” said I, “ I'm the very “ Yer Mr. Barney Geoghegan,” says he. man. An' me refused enthrance to the “Yer right," says I.
very place I was sent to by me consthitu“ Thin welcome to the house, sir,” says ents. he. "I read ov your succhess with rap- “Oh! it's all right,” says he, winkin to ther. I'm Tully O'More's nevvy," says he. the constables. "I've heard ov you from “Will ye take it nate or hot ?”
Father O'Swill. I'm a counthryman ov yer “ I'll thry it nate first,” says I.
ownSo we dhrank to the good of Ould Ire- “I'd know it by yer spache,” says Iland, an' says Tully O'More's nevvy, “ Ye “ An though I'm not ov yer way of might dhrink up all the whiskey we have thinkin, I'll take ye in an’ inthrojuce ye, an' in London to that same toast in this place, put ye up till the ways ov the house.” an sure it'll projuce no effect on the hard- “Would ye mind givin me yer name ?" hearted Sassenachs.”
says I. “Well,” says I, takin a second reviver, “ Maguire," says he. “ I'm about to give a notis that will shaké “What !" says I; “the pathriot ov the cowards in their shues.” Wid that says Cork ?” I, “ Where's the house ?” an' puttin my hat “ The same," says he. on wan side ov me head and me shillelagh "Well," says I, "yer well known to be the undher me arm, I sauntered up to the gratest man in the House ov Commons, doore the polishman had shown me. an' the lader of the pathriotic party; and There was two little spalpeens in clerical I'm proud ov yer acquaintance, Mister Maguire. Will ye join me in a dhrap for ov me shillelagh an' shouted at the top ov the sake ov ould Ireland ?"
me voiceIt's about the worst whiskey that ever I “Is it ordher ye want,” says I," for I'll tasted they sell at the counther. It's too soon interjuice it to ye!" but again the near the officers of excise to be a natheral whole place was filled with shoutins to that element. Says I when we'd collogued- extint you couldn't hear yer own words.
“ I'm goin' to give notis of a moshun in “Ordher, ordher ! Chair, chair !" favor ov Home Rule, an' if ye'll show me Me frind at me side sazed me coat-tails, the Spaker, it's till him his riverence towld an' pulled me down on the sate, an' afther me to addhress meself.”
possessin himself ov me shillelagh, which I " All right," says Mister Maguire, wid a was about to bring down on the head of a twinkle in his eye; “but ye must first ov jintleman who was shoutin “ Chair, chair !" all take the oaths an' yer sate, an' for that and who had mighty little hair for the size purpose I'll get Sir Kilmoy O'Clocker to ov his brains, named the member for Wateraccompany ye to the table. They're at ford, says to meprayers now," says he.
" Kape still
, I tell ye. Ye've made a Then he inthrojuced me to Sir Kilmoy, misthake. Ye must always on risin to adan' when prayers was over they took me dhress the Spaker take off yer
hat. Ye'll till the bar ov the house as they called it, have to apologize.” but sorra a gill ov spirits is iver to be found The Spaker said in a slow, clear voicethere as I have larned to me disgust. The “I must inform the Honorable Member House was lit widout lamps and was crowd- that he is not in order in addressing the ed wid jintlemen all wearin their hats, an' chair with his hat on; and I hope he will not a faymale to be seen. There was an not consider it one of his duties as a repreould gintleman wid a wig on, sittin directly sentative to bring a shillelagh into this opposite the doore in a sate wid a grate House and emphasize his remarks with thing like an umbrella over it; and two flourishes not strictly rhetorical." other jintleman in the same costume at a At that there was a roar of laughter, an' thable in front ov him; an before the tha- bein willin to adhere to the ways of the ble a grate goulden mace in a gun-rack ov place, I took off me hat, an' got up again the same metal.
on me legs, an' says IWhin the ceremony was completed, Mis- “Misther Spaker, I axe yer pardin, but ter Maguire whispered in me ear, “ Ye'll I'm unbeknownst to the rules ov the now follow me to a sate, an' whin ye sit House. I hereby give notis that at an airdown put yer hat on.”
ly day I shall call the attenshun ov the I sat down next him on a sate which House to the subjec of the relashuns of Irewas butifully cushioned, an' as soft as the land to Grate Brittan an' move resolushuns moss on Drumcarn, an' thin as directhed I thereon.” Ye see I'd got it as pat as could put on me hat.
There was a buzz of con- be from Father O'Swill. versashun in the House at the time an' The laughter was ten times worse than some laughin. Thinks I, if they're laughin before, an' the little Spaker nearly rowled at me, they're mighty misthaken, and I'll off the chair. I was beginnin to feel for me give them a touch of Irish assurance, so I shillelagh whin up jumps a man right forestood up an' said loud enough to be heard nenst the Spaker, an' standin' at the table, all over the place
looks roun the house, wid his eyes very an“ Misther Spaker !" — but the words gry and very wild, an' says he, pointin at was not well out ov me mouth whin the me with his right earwhole company roared at me like a herd “ And I beg to give notice on behalf of ov mad bulls
the Government that if that motion is “ Ordher! ordher !"
brought forward by the Honorable GentleThe Spaker too stood up.
man, the Government will consider it its Says I, “Ye cowardly spalpeens—" duty to treat it as one involving a question but they drowned me remarks inthirely by of confidence in the Ministry.” (Here there shoutin' “Ordher, ordher! Chair, chair!” were loud cries of “Oh! oh !") “ Yes, I I began to get angry, for thinks I to me- repeat it, as involving confidence in the self, this is a thrick ov the Sassenach bla- Ministry, and we shall be governed by the guards to shut me mouth, they well know result accordingly." what I'm about to say. I gave a flourish Misther Maguire explained to me that the jintleman was in the habit ov givin afthir doin me duty, I went out to exthese notises afther any moshun he didn't change congratulashuns wid Tully O'. like, an' 'twas a sign of the importance at More's nevvy, who, betwane you an' me, tached to me weight an' standin' to have is the only honest pathriot, barrin meself, me proposal made a critical question. So in the Parliment Houses. [From St. Paul's.
THE ROMANCE OF ARITHMETIC.
SURELY figures owe us whatever little of One remarkable property of this figure romance is to be got out of them. Have (said to have been first discovered by W. they not been associated from our earliest Green, who died in 1794) is, that all childhood with the taste of tears and slate- through the multiplication table the propencil ? Have they not been the invari- duct of nine comes to nine. Multiply by able cause of one's income being insuffi- what you like and it gives the same recient to meet one's expenditure ? Have sult. Begin with twice nine, 18; add the they not tyrannized over our tastes and digits together, and 1 and 8 make 9. Three enjoyments? And has not the sole rea- times nine are 27; and 2 and 7 make 9. son of that gap which, at every year's end, So it goes on, up to eleven times nine, prevents some of us, in spite of the most which gives 99. Very good; add the dilaudable intentions, from making both gits; 9 and 9 are 18, and 8 and 1 are 9. ends meet, been the obstinate persistence Going on to any extent, it is impossible to of two and two in their sullen refusal to get rid of figure 9. Take a couple of inmake any more than four ? I am rejoic- stances at random. Three hundred and ed to learn that Pythagoras, who said thirty-nine times nine are 3051 ; add up the something civil about all the other num- figures and they give 9. Five thousand bers, had a very poor opinion of figure and seventy-one times nine are 45639; two. I am delighted to know that he re- the sum of these digits is 27; and 2 and garded this disreputable figure as the sym- 7 are 9: bol of disorder, of division, of confusion, M. de Maivan found out another queer and inequality; as a hopelessly depraved thing about this number—namely, that if number of evil augury, as an exceeding you take any row of figures, and reversing bad principle—nay, as the very Old Bad their order, make a substraction sum of it, Principle himself. I've no patience with the total is sure to be 9. For example: figure two, nor with the way in which it gets held up to public esteem in connec- Reverse the figures 1705 tion with what is supposed to be the very satisfactory proposition that two and two
3366=18, and 1+8=9. make four. I can not regard it in that The same result is obtained if you raise light. Whatever is good for any thing the numbers so changed to their squares ought to improve and increase; and if this or cubes. Starting with 62, begin the sum boasted pair of twos had any genuine en- over again. By reversing the digits we terprise at all about them they would have get 26, which, substracted from 62, leaves made at least six by this time—in which 36, or 3+6=9. The squares of 26 and case I might without difficulty have learn- 62 are, respectively, 676 and 3844. Subed what a balance meant in my banker's tract one from the other and you get book. As it is, they have not merely 3168=18, and 1+8=9. So with the wasted their opportunities, but done me a cubes of 26 and 62, which are 17576 and personal injury. Besides, it is my opinion 238328. Subtracted, they leave 220752 that three and one make four in a manner = 18, and 1 +8=9. quite as successful, and very much less ob- The powerfully be-nine influence of this trusive.
figure is exemplified in another way. Write The most romantic of all numbers is down any number, as, for example, 7549figure nine, because it can't be multiplied 132, substract therefrom the sum of its away or got rid of anyhow. Whatever digits, and no matter what figures you start you do, it is as sure to turn up again as with, the digits of the product will always was the body of Eugene Aram's victim. come to 9. New SERIES.—VOL. XVI., No. 3.
7549132=sum of digits 31.
youngest a ninth. Of course, camels 31
can't be divided into fractions, so, in de7549101=sum of digits 27, and 2+7=9.
spair, the brothers submitted their difficulty A very good puzzle has been based on said the wise Ali : “ I'll lend you another
to Mohammed Ali. “Nothing easier!" this principle, as follows : Get another per- camel to make eighteen, and now divide ures, as many as he likes, without letting them yourselves.” The consequence was, you see what he is about from beginning each brother got from one-eighth to oneto end of the whole performance. He is half of a camel more than he was entitled then to reckon up the sum of the digits, to, and Ali received his camel back again; and subtract that from his row of figures. the eldest brother getting nine camels, the When he has done this, bid him cross out second six, and the third two. any figure he pleases from the product, and
Johann August Musæus, one of the tell you how much the figures add up, most popular German story-writers of the without the crossed-out figure. From the last century, in his story of Libussa, makes numbers so given you will be able to tell the Lady of Bohemia put forth the followwhat figure he has crossed out, by only ing problem to her three lovers, offering bearing in mind the fact learned above her hand and throne as the prize for a cornamely, that if no figure at all had been rect solution. “I have here in my baskcrossed out, the result would necessarily et," said the Lady Libussa,“ a gift of be 9 or a multiple of 9. Hence you wil plums for each of you, picked from my see that the crossed-out figure must needs garden. One of you shall have half and be the one required to bring the sum given one more, the second shall again have half to the next multiple of 9. Supposing, for and one 'more, and the third shall again instance, he gives his result at 37, you may have half and three more. This will empbe sure that he has robbed the product of ty my basket. Now tell me how many 8, that being the figure needed to restore plums are in it ?” the total to the next multiple of 9-name
The first knight made a random guess ly, 45. His sum would stand as under :
at three-score. 405678237=sum of digits 42.
“No," replied the lady. “But if there were as many more, half as many more,
and a third as many more as there are now 405678195=37.
in the basket, with five more added to There is only one case in which you that, the number would by so much excan be at fault, and that is in the event of ceed threescore as it now falls short of it.” a multiple of 9 being returned to you as a The second knight, getting awfully beproduct. Of course, then, you will know wildered, speculated, wildly on forty-five. that either a 9 or a o must have been "Not so," said this royal ready reckoner. struck out. Had the 9 been struck out in “But if there were a third as many more, the above instance, the result would have half as many more, and a sixth as many been 36: had it been the o, the product more as there are now, there would be in would have been 45. Both being multi- my basket as many more than forty-five ples of 9, it would be impossible to tell as there now are under that number.” with certainty whether the missing figure Prince Wladomir then decided the numwere 9 or o; but a good guess may gen- ber of plums to be thirty; and by so erally be formed, because, if the figures doing obtained this invaluable houseappear suspiciously low in proportion to keeper for his wife. The Lady Libussa the time taken to tot up the sum, you may thereupon counted him out fifteen plums speculate that your product has most likely and one more, when there remained foursustained the loss of the highest number. teen. To the second knight, she gave
That is a clever Persian story about Mo- seven and one more, and six remained. hammed Ali and the camels, and though To the first knight, she gave half of these it will be familiar to many of my readers, and three more; and the basket was empthey will scarcely be sorry to be reminded ty. The discarded lovers went off with of it. A Persian died, leaving seventeen their heads exceedingly giddy, and their camels to be divided among his three sons mouths full of plums. in the following proportions: the eldest to Double Position, or the Rule of False, have half, the second a third, and the by which problems of this sort are worked,
ought to demolish the commonplace about chambermaid is said to have got twelve two wrongs not making a right.' Two commercial travelers into eleven bedwrongs do make a right, figure-atively rooms, and yet to have given each a sepaspeaking, at all events. Starting with two rate room. Here we have the eleven bedwillfully false numbers, you work each out rooms: to its natural conclusion. Then, taking the sum of your iniquities as compared with the falsehoods with which you start
3 4 5 6 7 8 9 ed, you have only to multiply them crosswise to get terms which will bring you “Now," said she, “if two of you genstraight to the truth. To be more precise, tlemen will go into No. 1 bedroom, and after the cross multiplication, if the errors wait there a few minutes, I'll find a spare are alike—that is, both greater or both room for one of you as soon as I've shown less than the number you want-take their the others to their rooms.” difference for a divisor, and the difference Well, now, having thus bestowed two of their products for a dividend. If un- gentlemen in No. 1, she put the third in like, take their sum for a divisor, and the No. 2, the fourth in No. 3, the fifth in No. sum of their products for a dividend. The 4, the sixth in No. 5, the seventh in No. quotient will be the answer. This is good 6, the eighth in No.7, the ninth in No. 8, arithmetic, and, for those who can receive the tenth in No. 9, and the eleventh in it, not bad philosophy. There is an enor
No. 10. She then came back to No. 1, mous self-righting power about error, and if where you will remember she had left the we could only manage the cross-multipli- twelfth gentleman along with the first, and cation properly, we might get some sur- said: “I've now accommodated all the prising results.
rest, and have still a room to spare, so it The number 37 has this strange pecu- one of you will please step into No. 11, 3 up to 27, it gives three figures all alike. you will find it empty.” Thus the twelfth
man got his bedroom. Of course, there Thus, three times 37 will be 111. Twice is a hole in the saucepan somewhere; but three times (6 times) 37 will be 222; three I leave the reader to determine exactly times three times (9 times) 37 gives three where the fallacy is, with just a warning threes; four times three times (12 times) to think twice before deciding as to which, 37, three fours; and so on.
if any, of the travelers was the odd man I will wind up for the present with a out.” rather barefaced story of how a Dublin
[From Chambers's Journal..
THE RECENT FOSSIL MAN.*
BY J. MORRIS, F.G.S., PROFESSOR OF GEOLOGY IN UNIVERSITY COLLEGE, LONDON.
* The subject of the antiquity of man has well as by recent discoveries, that the of late years attracted considerable atten- remains of men lie entombed in earlier. tion, and the terms palæolithic and neolithic graves than those where have become nearly as familiar as those of The rude forefathers of the hamlet sleep. the stone and iron age of former years. Among those who carefully investigated For preconceived opinions on this point, and prominently brought the subject forand the apparent doubtful evidence of the ward were Mr. Prestwich* and the late association of the human species with Dr. Falconer, after their examination of those of the extinct mammalia, strength- the discoveries near Abbeville by M. Bouened the belief of the appearance of man cher de Perthes and of the Brixham cave; only after the great physical changes had the facts of the contemporaneity of the brought about their disappearance. Hence works of man with the remains of extinct arose, partly from want of careful obser- mammals were still contested by Elie de vation, much controversy on the subject, Beaumont and others; but the opinions and, although maintained by some, the of Mr. Prestwich were corroborated by opinion has been confirmed by the rëexamination of several of the cases cited, as * " Phil. Trans.” 1860, Pt. II. p. 277. .