mencing to make amendment in their own lives and conversations-that poorrates were likely to be worse before they were better; and that, as to the Catholic question,-"But, Mansie," said he, "it would give me great pleasure to hear your candid and judicious opinion of Popery and the Papists." I saw, with half an ee, that Peter was trying to put me to my mettle, and I devoutly wished, that I had had James Batter at my elbow, to have given him play for his money-James being the longest-headed man that ever drove a shuttle between warp and woof; but, most fortunately, just as I was going to say, that "every honest man, who wished well to the good of his country, could only have one opinion on that subject,"- -we came to the bye-road, that leads away off on the right hand side down to Hawthornden; and we observed, from the curious ringle, that one of the naig's foreshoon was loose; which consequently put an end to the discussion of this important national question, before Peter and I had time to get it comfortably settled to the world's satisfaction. The upshot was, that we were needcessitated to dismount, and lead the animal by the head, forward to Kitderig, where Mackturk Sparrible keeps his smith's shop; in order that, with his hammer, he might make fast the loose nails--and that him and his foresman did in a couple of hurries; me and Peter looking over them, while they pelt-pelted away with the beast's foot between their knees, as if we had been a couple of grand gentlemen incog.; and so we were to him. After getting ourselves again decently mounted, and giving Sparrible a consideration for his trouble, Peter took occasion, from the horse casting its shoe, to make a few apropos moral observations, in the manner of the Rev. Mr. Wiggie, on the uncertainties which it is every man's lot to encounter in the weariful pilgrimage of human life. "There is many a slip 'tween the cup and the lip," said Peter. "And indeed, Mr. Farrel, ye never spoke a truer word," said I. “We are here to-day-yonder to-morrow; this moment we are shining like the mid-day sun, and on the next, pugh! we go out like the snuff of a candle." "But, Maister Wauch," quo' Peter, who was a hearer of the Parish Church, "you dissenting bodies aye take the black side of things; never considering that the doubtful shadows of affairs sometimes brighten up into the cloudless daylight. For instance, now, there was an old fellow-apprentice of my father's, who, like myself, was a baker, his name was Charlie Cheeper; and, both his father and mother dying, when he was yet hardly in trowsers, he would have been left without a hame in the world, had not an old widow woman, who had long lived next door to them, and whose only breadwinner was her spinning-wheel, taken the wee wretchie in to share her morsel. For several years, as might naturally have been expected, the callant was a perfect dead-weight on the concern, and perhaps, in her hours of greater distress, the widow regretted the heedlessness of her Christian charity; but Charlie had a winning way with him, and she could not find it in her heart to turn him to the door. By the time he was seven,—and a ragged coute he was as ever stepped without shoes,-he could fend for himself, by running messages-holding horses at shop doors-winning bools and selling them—and so on; so that, when he had collected half-a-crown in a penny pig, the widow sent him to the school, where he got on like a hatter, and, in a little while, could both read and write. When he was ten, he was bound apprentice to Saunders Snaps, in the Back-row, whose grandson has yet, as you know, the sign of the Wheat Sheaf; and for five years he behaved himself like his betters. Well, sir, when his time was out, Charlie had an ambition to see the world; and, by working for a month or two as a journeyman in the Grassmarket of Edinburgh, he raked as much together, as took him up to London in the steerage of a Leith smack. For several years nothing was heard of him, except an occasional present of a shawl, or so on, to the widow, who had been so kind to him in his helpless years; and at length a farewell present of some little money came to her, with his blessing for past favors, saying that he was off for good and all to America. "In the course of time, Widow Amos became frail and sandblind. She was unable to work for herself, and the charity she had shown to others, no one seemed disposed to extend to her. Her only child, Jeanie Amos, was obliged to leave her service, and come home to the house of poverty, to guard her mother's grey hairs from accident, and to divide with her the little she could make at the trade of mangling; for, with the money that Charlie Cheeper had sent, before leaving the country, the old woman had bought a calendar, and let it out to the neighbors at so much an hour; honest poverty having many shifts. "Matters had gone on in this way for two or three fitful years; and Jeanie, who, when she had come home from service, was a buxom and blooming lass, although yet but a wee advanced in her thirties, began to show, like all earthly things, that she was wearing past her best. Some said that she had lost hopes of Charlie's return; and others, that, come hame when he liked, he would never look over his left shoulder after her. "Well, sir, as fact as death, I mind mysell, when a laddie, of the rumpus the thing made in the town. One Saturday night, a whole washing of old Mrs. Pernickity's, that had been sent to be calendared, vanished like lightning, no one knew where the old lady was neither to hold nor bind; and nothing would serve her, but having both the old woman and her daughter committed to the Tolbooth. So to the Tolbooth they went, weeping and wailing; followed by a crowd, who cried loudly out at the sin and iniquity of the proceeding; because the honesty of the prisoners, although impeached, was unimpeachable; the mob were furious; and before the Sunday sun arose, old Mrs. Pernickity awakened with a sore throat, every pane of her windows having been miraculously broken during the dead hours. "The mother and the daughter were kept in custody until the Monday; when, as they were standing, making a declaration of their innocence before the justices, who should come in but Francie Deep, the Sheriff officer, with an Irish vagrant and his wife,-two tinklers, who were lodging in the Back-row, and in whose possession the bundle was found bodily, basket and all. Such a cheering as the folk set up; it did all honest folk's hearts good to hear it. Mrs. Pernickity and her lass, to save their bacon, were obliged to be let out by a back door; and, as the Justices were about to discharge the two prisoners, who had been so unjustly and injuriously suspected, a stranger forced his way to the middle of the floor, and took the old woman in his arms !” "Charlie Cheeper returned, for a gold guinea," said I. "And no other it was," said Peter, resuming his comical story. "The world had flowed upon him to his heart's desire. Over in Virginia he had given up the baking business, and commenced planter; and, after years of industrious exertion, having made enough and to spare, he had returned to spend the rest of his days, in peace and plenty in his native town." "Not to interrupt you," added I, "Mr. Farrel, I think I could wager something mair." "You are a witch of a guesser I see, Mansie," said Peter; " and I see what you are at. Well, sir, you are right again. For, on the very day week that Patrick Makillaguddy and his spouse got their heads shaved, and were sent to beat hemp in the New Bridewell on the Caltonhill, Jeanie Amos became Mrs. Cheeper; the calendar and the spinning-wheel were both burned by a crowd of wicked weans, before old Mrs. Pernickity's door, raising such a smoke as almost smeaked her to a rizzar'd haddock; and the old widow, under the snug room of her ever grateful son-in-law, spent the remainder of her Christian life in peace and prosperity." "That story ends as it ought," said I," Mr. Farrel; neither Jew nor Gentile dare dispute that; and as to the telling of it, I do not think man of woman born, except maybe James Batter, who is a nonsuch, could have handled it more prettily. I like to hear virtue aye getting its ain reward." As these 'dividual words were falling from my lips, we approached the end of our journey, the Roslin-Innhouse heaving in sight, at the door of which me and Peter louped out, an hostler, with a yellow-striped waistcoat, and white calico sleeves, meantime holding the naig's head, in case it should spend aff, and capsize the concern. After seeing the horse and gig put into the stable, Peter and I pulled up our shirt-necks, and after looking at our watches, as if time was precious, oxtered away, arm-inarm, to see the Chapel, which surpasses all, and beats cockfighting. It is an unaccountable thing to me, how the auld folk could afford to build such grand kirks and castles. If once gold was like slate-stones, there is a weariful change now-a-days, I must confess; for, so to speak, gold guineas seem to have taken flight from the land along with the witches and warlocks, and posterity are left as toom in the pockets as rookit gamblers. But if the mammon of precious metals be now totally altogether out of the world, weel-a-wat we had a curiosity still, and that was a cleipy woman with a long stick, that rhaemed away, and better rhaemed away, about the Prentice's Pillar, who got a knock on the pow from his jealous blackguard of a master-and about the dogs and the deer,—and Sir Thomas this-thing and my Lord totherthing, who lay buried beneath the broad flagstones in their rusty coats of armor-and such a heap of havers, that no throat was wide enough to swallow them for gospel, although geyan entertaining I allow. However, it was a real farce; that is cer tain. Oh, but the building was a grand and overpowering sight, making man to dree the sense of his own insignificance, even in the midst of his own handiwork. First, we looked over our shoulders to the grand carved roofs, where the swallows swee-sweed, as they darted through the open windows, and the yattering sparrows fed their gorbals in the far boles; and syne we looked shuddering down into the dark vaults, where nobody in their senses could have ventured, though Peter Farrel, being a rash, courageous body, was keen on it, having heard less than I could tell him of such places being haunted by the spirits of those who have died or been murdered within them in the bloody days of the old times; or of their being so full of foul air, as to extinguish man's breath in his nostrils like the snuff of a candle. Though no man should throw his life into jeopardy, yet I commend all for taking timeous recreation-the King himself on the throne not being able to live without the comforts of life; and even the fifteen Lords of Session, with as much powder on their wigs as would keep a small family in loaves for a week, requiring air and exercise after sentencing vagabonds to be first hanged, and then their clothes given to Jock Heich, and their bodies to Doctor Monroe. Before going out to inspect the wonderfuls, we had taken the natural precaution to tell the goodman of the inn, that we would be back to take a chack of something from him, at such and such an hour; and, having had our bellyful of the Chapel,-and the Prentice's Pillar,-and the vaults,and the cleipy auld wife with the lang stick,—we found that we had still half an hour to spare; so took a stroll into the Kirkyard, to see if we could find out if any of the martyrs had been buried there-away-abouts. We saw a good few head-stones, lights, and walking down stairs; and the Misses Skinflints had more than once nearly got their door carried off the hinges; so they had not the life of dogs, for constant startings and surprises. At first they had no faith in ghosts; but, in the course of time, they came to be alike doubtful on that point; but you shall hear. you may make no doubt, both ancient and modern; but nothing out of the coorse of nature; so, the day being pleasant, Mr. Farrel and me sat down on a through-stane, below an old hawthorn, and commenced chatting on the Pentland Hills-the river Esk-Pennicuick-Glencorse-and all the rest of the beautiful country within sight. A mooly auld skull was lying among the grass, and Peter, as he spoke, was aye stirring it about with his stick. "I never touched a dead man's bones in my life," said I to Peter, "nor would I for a sixpence. Who might that have belonged to, now, I wonder? Maybe to a baker or a tailor, in his day and generation, like you and I, Peter: or maybe to ane of the great Sinclairs with their coatsof-mail, that the auld wife was cracking so crousely about?" 'Deil may care," said Peter; "but are you really frighted to touch a skull, Mansie ? You would make a bad doctor I'm doubting, then; to say nothing of a resurrection man." "Doctor! I would not be a doctor for all the gold and silver on the walls of Solomon's temple "Yet you would think the young doctors suck in their trade with their mother's milk, and could cut off one another's heads as fast as look at you. -Speaking of skulls," added Peter, "I mind when my father lived in the under flat of the three-story house at the top of Dalkeith street, that the Misses Skinflints occupied the middle story, and Doctor Chickenweed had the one above, with the garrets, in which was the laboratory. "Weel, ye observe, in getting to the shop, it was not necessary to knock at the Doctor's door, but just proceed up the narrow wooden stair, facing the top of which was the shopdoor, which, for light to the customers' feet, was generally allowed to stand open. "For a long time, the Doctor had heard the most unearthly noises in his house, as if a thunder-bolt was in the habit of coming in at one of the sky55 ATHENEUM, VOL. 1, 3d series. "The foundation of the mystery was this. The three mischievous laddies-the apprentices-after getting their daily work over, of making pills and potions for his Majesty's unfortunate subjects, took to the trick of mounting a human skull, like that, upon springs, so that it could open its mouth, and setting it on a stand at the end of the counter, could make it gape, and turn from side to side by pulling the string. "The door being left purposely agee,-whenever the rascals saw a fit subject-they set the skull a-moving and a-gaping; the consequence of which was, that many a poor customer descended without counting the number of steps, and after bouncing against Dr. Chickenweed's panels, played flee down to try the strength of those of the Misses Skinflints. One of the two instantly darted down after the evanished patient; and, after assisting her or him,-whichever it might chance to be,-to gain their feet, begged of them not to mention what they had seen, as the house was haunted by the ghost of an old maiden aunt of their master's, who had died abroad, and that the thing would hurt his feelings, if ever it came to his ears." Dog on me," said I, "if ever I heard of such a trick, since ever I was born! What was the upshot?" "The upshot was, that the thing might have continued long enough, and the laboratory been left as deserted as Tadmor in the Wilderness, had not a fat old woman fallen, one day, perfectly through the Doctor's door, and dislocated her ankle,—which unfortunately incapacitated her from making a similar attack on that of the Misses Skinflints. The consequence was, that the conspiracy was detected -the Doctor's aunt's ghost laid—and the fat old woman carried down on a shutter to her bed, where she lay till her ankle grew better in the course of nature." It being near the hour at which we had ordered our dinner to be ready, we rose up from the tombstone; and, after taking a snuff out of Peter's box, we returned, arm in arm, to the tavern, to lay in a stock of provisions. Peter Farrel was a warm-hearted, thorough-going fellow, and did not like half-measures, such as swallowing the sheep, and worrying on the tail; so, after having ate as many strawberries as we could well stow away, he began trying to fright me with stories of folk taking the elic passion,-the colic, the mulligrubs,-and other deadly maladies, on account of neglecting to swallow a drop of something warm to qualify the coldness of the fruit; so, after we had discussed good part of a fore-quarter of lamb and chopped cabbage, the latter a prime dish, we took first one jug, and syne another, till Peter was growing tonguetied, and as red in the face as a bubbly-jock; and, to speak the truth, my own een began to reel with the merligoes. In a jiffy, both of us found our hearts waxing so brave, as to kick and spur at all niggardly hesitation; and we leuch and thumped on the goodman of the inn-house's mahogany table, as if it had been warranted never to break. In fact, we were as furious and obstrapulous as two unchristened Turks; and it was a mercy that we ever thought of rising to come away at all. At the long and the last, how ever, we found ourselves mounted and trotting home at no allowance, me telling Peter, as far as I mind, to give the beast a good creish, and not to be frighted. The evening was fine, and warmer than we could have wished, our cheeks glowing like dragoons' jackets; and as we passed like lightning through among the trees, the sun was setting with a golden glory in the west, between the Pentland and the Corstorphine Hills, and flashing in upon us through the branches at every opening. About half way on our road back, we forgathered with Robbie Maut, drucken body, shug-shugging away home, keeping the trot with his tale, and his bit arm shake-shaking at his tae side, on his grey sheltie; so, after carbailing him, we bragged him to a race full gallop, for better than a mile to the toll. The damage we did, I dare not pretend to recollect. First, we knocked over two drunk Irishmen, that were singing "Erin-go-Bragh,” armin-arm,-syne we rode over the top of an old woman with a wheelbarrow of cabbages,-and when we came to the toll, which was kept by a fat man with a red waistcoat, Robbie's pony, being like all Highlanders, a wilful creature, stopped all at once; and though he won the half mutchkin by getting through first, after driving over the tollman, it was at the expense of poor Robbie's being ejected from his stirrups like a battering ram, and disappearing head-foremost through the tollhouse window, which was open. At the time, all was war and rebellion with the tollman, assault and battery, damages, broken panes, and what not; but, with skilful management, and a few words in the private ear of Mr. Rory Sneckdrawer, the penny-writer, we got matters southered up when we were in our sober senses, though I shall not say how much it cost us both in preaching and pocket, to make the man keep a calm sough, as to bringing us in for the penalty, which would have been deadly. I think black burning shame of myself to make mention of such ploys and pliskies; but, after all, it is better to make a clean breast. Hame at last we got, making fire flee out of the Dalkeith causeway stones like mad, and we arrived at our own door between nine and ten at night, still in a half-seas-overish state. I had, nevertheless, sense enough about me remaining, to make me aware that the best place for me would be my bed; so, after making Nanse bring the bottle and glass to the door on a server, to give Peter Farrel a dram |