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beneath it, by way of persuasion to the rash act. — Nell, I say, caught a sight through this little clearance in the windowpane-of what do you suppose? Of the identical truck on which her children's bed and the rest of her household gear had been taken away,

and

upon it the articles themselves, bed, table, chairs ; aud old Grey, Mr. Bennett's shepherd, marching beside it, and all coming as fast as they could to the cottage.

“Here, missus, put your room to rights as soon as you please,” exclaimed the shepherd, as he placed his crook behind the door, that he might better assist in bringing in the goods. “ Master will be here presently ; it's all right ; the rate's paid ; and if he had been at home, bless you, it would never have happened.”

Master Greenwood,” said Grimes hastily, “I'll give you a

you have a mind to go up with the fish to-night.”
Beg pardon, sir,” interrupted Grey, “but master's got a job

• for him. “Oh! all right, Master Grey; all right," said Grimes, with

' what was intended for a smile of complacency; and the Overseer, with anything but his usual terror-breathing aspect, departed.

Well,” exclaimed the shepherd, “o wonders will never cease. My master in a downright passion (the first time I ever saw him so in my life), and Master Grimes civil.”

sv But lor, Mrs. Greenwood,” interrupted another of the men, “what makes you cry? Why, I thought the sight of these here things coming back again would have made you as merry as a cricket.” “ Ah! let her cry," suggested the old shepherd ;

" such tears do no harm, do they, Missus ? Stay a while till Master comes, you'll have something to laugh at then—but there, I don't think 1 can keep it so long, I should burst if I tried ;-the fact is, Miles," and Grey sunk his voice to a whisper, “ Master has not yet given away the looker's place at Mashford, and you're to have it, my boy- there's news for

One can readily imagine the gratitude of the Greenwoods when Mr. Bennett made his appearance amongst them ; the old shepherd's report proved correct, and the poor man who had awakened that morning without the means of obtaining a meal for his family, found himself installed in a permanent situationwith a cottage rent-free, and other privileges independent of his weekly stipend. It was a gracious lesson to him, this emanation

you !

of good out of evil; and henceforth he learned to feel under every trial, that let the day be ever so dark and cloudy, the sun is still in heaven, and may at any moment break through.

I have little to add, but that Mr. Grimes lost by his contract with the Barking fishermen ; for, in spite of his precautions (he had sent up four men with the waggon--Joe Howe being one of them-by way of guard), the thieves were too strong to be baulked in their piscatory peculation, and, in consequence, the damage sustained by the cargo outbalanced the price of its carriage, and Mr. Grimes found himself burdened with the forfeiture.

C. W.

TOILET TOMFOOLERIES.
WHY DO BARRISTERS WEAR WIGS?

SETTING aside soldiers, flunkies, and policemen, there are three grand classes of society who are, as it were, labelled and ticketed off from the rest of humanity by peculiar and whimsical costumes: These are charity boys, beadles, and barristers. Now, why Bill Stibbins of St. Giles's should wear a muffin cap and leathers, because he is taught his A B C by the public ; or why Mr. Bumble of the same or any other parish should sport a gold-laced coat on his back, and a cocked hat on his head, as essential elements of the being whose official dignity presides at the vestry door, or overawes the workhouse porter, we profess to be quite as unable to resolve as we are satisfactorily to state why Mr. Briefless puts his head into a bunch of horse-hair, and his body into a species of black sack without a bottom, either because he is or pretends to be “ learned in the law." The way in which a man is made a barrister, and the way

in which, when the manufactured article is completed, it is made up for use, are both equally singular. Everybody knows that, to be a “learned counsel," it is only requisite that you eat so many pounds of beef in a room with a Gothic roof. Thus it is that the raw material of stupid humanity is metamorphosed into a creature learned by courtesy--gentlemanly by act of parliament. In becoming a barrister, therefore, you have chiefly to mind the inside of your stomach -- after you have attained the dignity, to look

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after the outside of your head. The flesh of an ox makes you learned ; the hair of a horse proves the fact to a gaping world. If by nature a barrister is sometimes simple, by act of parliament he is always gentle. But in case there should be any mistake, he takes a leaf out of the book of that most prudent and sagacious of artists, who wrote under his picture, “ This is a Bear ;” and by clapping a mop of whitened hair over his own capillary attractions, triumphantly attests that “ This is a Gentleman."

Is this, then, the reason why barristers wear wigs ? or shall we go further to look for worse ones? Here, in this civilised land of ours, we have a complex system of jurisprudence. So far so good. We have a profession devoted to its interpretation and administration. Good again. But why the members of that professionseparating themselves from those of others---why, when clergymen, medical men, artists, authors, merchants, manufacturerswhat you like—clothe themselves according to the conventional usages of society in general, barristers should set up a fashion of their own—a fashion neither more useful nor ornamental than the tatooing of New Zealand, or the ochre-smearing of North America -is a point only to be established by the ingenuity of one of their own tribe, hired to make white black, and the worse the better cause, at so much

per

hour. Gentlemen, is your learning on the out or the inside of your skulls ? Does it lie in the region where Samson's strength had its abode ? Are you wiser because hairier ?

Of course you regard the questions as very impertinent. Are you sure you know the difference between pertinent and impertinent ? If so, prove it, by sending your gowns to the sign of the Black Doll, and making over your wigs for hens to lay eggs in.

Again. Now do tell us how it is that the barber and the tailor help you in your arguments. Point out to us one reason why a jury cannot be as effectually addressed ; a rule to compute as eloquently moved for; a respectable witness as completely bullied, or a reprobate of a pickpocket as triumphantly advocated, without a thing like a white-washed crow's nest upon your head, as with that ornament.

We have heard it said " A Barrister wears a distinctive badge (the word recalls the cabmen to our minds) “ in order to procure instant admission to the courts in which he practises.' But it so happens that the courts are open to all her Majesty's subjects, just as freely as to those among them who date their

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letters from the Temple. It will be rejoined,

" But it is reasonable that the barristers should have the preference, as having business to attend to.” Now, other people have business in court as well as barristers; and it strikes us that plaintiff and defendant have some slight claims to priority over Mr. Briefless, who has lounged as dumb as a flat-fish for ten years over the back benches. Again. Solicitors have something to do with the business in hand. Do they find it necessary to present a

6 free order," in the shape of a tie-wig? Witnesses too, reporters, clerks, and so forth, have a recognised right to enter, and a status in the court ; but do they exhibit their status and their right in abounding horse-hair? The plea, then, that the wig is a úsefül mark of distinction must be given up.

Let us take other ground. We have heard it urged that wigs were useful in a sanitary point of view ; that their owners. were obliged to be continually rushing through cold draughts, from one hot court to another; that it would be very inconvenient to carry hats about, seeing that in the squeeze and bustle of a court, learned gentlemen might very frequently, by unlucky accidents, confer the favours on these useful articles which hens do on eggsnamely, sit on them ; and that wigs, being warm, portable, and squeezeable, preserved, without risk to themselves, the learned caputs under them, at å tolerably equal and health-bestowing temperature.

Now, if wigs be classed with comforters, bosom-friends, and bits. of flannel, it strikes us, that in order to avert such catastrophes as colds in the head, and so forth, they ought only to be worn in transitu from one court to another. If they keep the wearer warm enough in the chill of Westminster Hall, they must certainly produce the sign and symbol of labour-the “sweat of the brow,” in the court of Queen's Bench ; while, if they merely, keep up a pleasant temperature within the folds of the dark-green curtain, they must certainly leave the wearer in a teeth-chattering condition when he steps without it.

Taking, however, a non-professional, and therefore commonsense view of the matter, it strikes us, that if anything was ever, pregnant with discomforts to the poor persecuted head, it is the huge bundle of coarse hair placed over its natural covering. To our eye, as many head-aches lodge in these whity-brown curls as in a bottle of brandy, consumed in an evening, by a formidable continuity of "goes;”-and further, to prove the fact from the

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mouth of one of the victims, we beg to direct attention to the following precious piece of worse than tomfoolery, which actually occurred in one of our principal tribunals a week or two agojust as if intended expressly to serve our present purpose :

Court of EXCHEQUER, May 22nd.—Their Lordships entered the Court in full-bottomed wigs; the Queen's Counsel also wore wigs of a similar description.

After their Lordships had gone through the bar the peremptory paper was called on.

Mr. Martin begged to be allowed to mention the case of Stockdale and Benn, and Benn and Stockdale, the learned Counsel having on his ordinary wig at the time. The Lord Chief Baron—“Mr. Martin, I question whether you are

I visible to-day.”

Mr. Martin said that he was about to state to their Lordships that he found it a considerable inconvenience to wear the heavy full-bottomed wig.

The Lord Chief Baron—"I fear, Mr. Martin, that you appear in costume.”

Mr. Martin_“I really cannot wear these wigs, my Lord. I am sensible of the ill effects of it for a week after."

Mr. Baron Alderson—“ You should bear the inconvenience, on ac«count of the increased dignity, Mr. Martin.-(A laugh.) It may appear to you a custom more honoured in the breach than in the observance." Mr. Martin—" It really does, my

Lord.” Mr. Baron Alderson—“But you cannot appear without having on your marriage garment.”—(A laugh.)

Mr. Chambers said that they had been misled by the Judges in the Queen's Bench having come into Court in the ordinary small wig. Mr. Martin here bowed, and retired.

We were about to ask whether the sittings in Banco were held in Bedlam or not ; but we beg pardon—we shall not insult Bedlam by supposing for one moment that such a scene could have occurred

among

the
very

maddest of all its mad inmates. We feel for Martin, unhappy Martin, doomed to headaches of a week's duration all the misery of dry mornings after wet evenings, and without the fun. Minus the full-bottomed wig, he

invisible," unseen, or only to be seen when like an owl in an ivy bush. The wig was visible but not the counsel ; the wig, then, is the essence and the substance of the counsel. A counsel is a wig, a learned gentleman is a thing made of horse-hair. The heavy facetiousness of the judge is heart-rending. A wig, too,

was

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