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Our Cumberland's * sweet-bread its place shall
obtain, And Douglas † is pudding, substantial and plain : Our Garrick's I a salad ; for in him we see Oil, vinegar, sugar, and saltness agree : To make out the dinner, full certain am, That Ridge § is anchovy, and Reynolds || is
That Hickey's | a capon, and by the same rule,
* Mr. Richard Cumberland, author of the West Indian, Fashionable Lover, the Brothers, and other dramatic pieces.
+ Doctor Douglas, canon of Windsor, an ingenious Scotch gentleman, who has no less distinguished himself as a citizen of the world, than a sound critic, in detecting several literary mistakes (or rather forgeries) of his countrymen ; particularly Lauder on Milton, and Bower's History of the Popes.
| David Garrick, Esq.
& Counsellor John Ridge, a gentleman belonging to the Irish bar. || Sir Joshua Reynolds.
An eminent attorney.
Here lies the good dean *, re-united to earth, Who mix'd reason with pleasure, and wisdom
with mirth : If he had any faults, he has left us in doubt; At least, in six weeks I could not find 'em out; Yet some have declar'd, and it can't be denied
'em, That sly-boots was cursedly cunning to hide 'em. Here lies our good Edmund t, whose genius
was such, We scarcely can praise it, or blame it, too much; Who, born for the universe, narrow'd his mind, And to party gave up what was meant for man
kind; Though fraught with all learning, yet straining
his throat To persuade Tommy Townshend I to lend him
a vote; Who, too deep for his hearers, still went on re
fining, And thought of convincing while they thought
of dining : Though equal to all things, for all things unfit, Too nice for a statesman, too proud for a wit ; For a patriot, too cool; for a drudge, disobe
And too fond of the right to pursue the expe
Vide page 59.
† Ibid. | Mr. T. Townshend, Member for Whitchurch.
In short, 'twas his fate, unemploy'd, or in
place, sir, To eat mutton cold, and cut blocks with a razor. Here lies honest William *, whose heart was
a mint, While the owner ne'er knew half the good that
was in't; The pupil of impulse, it forc'd him along, His conduct still right, with his argument wrong ; Still aiming at honour, yet fearing to roam, The coachman was tipsy, the chariot drove
home. Would you ask for his merits ? alas ! he had
What was good was spontaneous, bis faults were
Here lies honest Richard, whose fate I must
sigh at; Alas, that such frolic should now be so quiet! What spirits were his! wbat wit and what whim! Now breaking a jest, and now breaking a limb t; Now wrangling and grumbling to keep up the
Now teazing and vexing, yet laughing at all.
* Vide page 59.
† Mr. Richard Burke ; vide page 59. tleman having slightly fractured one of his arms and legs, at different times, the doctor had rallied him on those accidents, as a kind of retributive justice for breaking his jests upon other people.
In short, so provoking a devil was Dick,
But, missing his mirth and agreeable vein,
Here Cumberland * lies, having acted his parts,
Here Douglas retires from bis toils to relax, The scourge of impostors, the terror of quacks ; Come, all ye quack bards, and ye quacking
divines, Come, and dance on the spot where your tyrant
* Vide page 60.
When satire and censure encircled his throne,
lecture; Macpherson I write bombast, and call it a style, Our Townshend & make speeches, and I shall
compile; New Lauders and Bowers || the Tweed shall
cross over, No countryman living their tricks to discover; Detection her taper shall quench to a spark, And Scotchman meet Scotchman and cheat in
the dark. Here lies David Garrick (, describe him who
can, An abridgment of all that was pleasant in
man ; As an actor, confest without rival to shine : As a wit, if not first, in the very first line : Yet, with talents like these, and an excellent
heart, The man had his failings, a dupe to his art.
* The Rev. Dr. Dodd.
† Dr. Kenrick, who read Lectures at the Devil Tavern, under the title of 'The School of Shakspeare.'
| James Macpherson, Esq., who lately, from the mere force of his style, wrote down the first poet of all antiquity. $ Vide page 61.