To quote the authors, Ugh. Or (ugh). It started out quite reasonably talking about burnout and how it affects us. Moved into ways to deal with both the stress and the stressors. Then suddenly I was Smashing the Patriarchy. I thought they painted with a very broad brush on the Patriarchy but also seemed only interested in women with full time jobs, husbands, and kids. It just kept getting into stranger and stranger jargon they made up and I finally stopped caring if what they said was correct or helpful and found it all irritating. Which is a same because there probably was good information but it was lost in stories of Star Trek (her name is Uhuru no Uhura) and Madwoman in the Attic and way too much other stuff.

I picked this from the library when I started to listen to the authors on a podcast but I found the same things that drove me crazy in that (and caused me to stop listening) were also here in the book. At least no one sang in book.

I tend to be a little bit wary of self-help books, especially if they make pop culture references because I feel like that dates them, but Burnout quite concisely describes the reasons for stress (we tend to freeze or flee or 'just grit your teeth and deal with it' without actually completing the stress cycle to release) and ways to alleviate that in our lives. It neatly packages a lot of what I stumbled into through my university's CAPS after nearly crashing and burning in grad school about self-compassion and recognizing it's okay to be kind to yourself, including thatinternal critical voice as part of yourself as well.

I tend to skim through other reviews before posting mine, just to see if I'm on a similar wavelength as other readers and this one seems to be polarizing- alas, I do wonder if some of the negative reviews would be less harsh if they became aware of the impact that systemic patriarchy has on nearly every aspect of society, and how there's a lot of stress on being a "Human Giver" as the Nagoski sisters put it. ( )

I think self-help really isn't my thing, but this is a subject that is of some interest to me this year and came recommended, so I went in with an open mind. There were some concrete ideas that were definitely of value for me, especially around physically managing the stress cycle so that it can conclude rather than keep spinning, and hammering home the importance of sleep... someday I'll internalize that one. I guess that's the point of this kind of book, take what you need and leave the rest... Anyway, I'm glad I read it even if not all of it stuck. ( )

There IS some useful information about the stress cycle in this book but the overly casual, self-help lite tone wasn't for me. ( )

This book spoke to me on such a deep level. The authors beautifully describe why women are overwhelmed, over-stressed, and over-giving at every opportunity. Every woman I know is burnt out and worn out, yet we #persist, because we're told we have to. Because to do otherwise is seen as a massive moral failure.

The concept of being a Human Giver vs. a Human Being was mind-blowing, and it made so much sense. Women are socialized to seek a relationship to feel 'complete', while men are taught to value independence and sovereignty.

As women, we're told we're responsible for everyone else's feelings and so we go through life trying desperately not to disappoint anyone. What we're not taught, however, is how to take care of our own emotional and mental well-being. How to rest without guilt, and how to treat ourselves as though we were someone we loved.

The Nagoski sisters have handed women the key to minimizing stress and managing their emotions. But most of all, they've let us know that we're not crazy, we're not "weak", and we're not broken because we can't keep up with the demands we've been conditioned to put on ourselves ( )

Different from what I was expecting - in such a good way! ( )

A super insightful book, with several new twists on what "self care" really means and how to approach things in a way they can be completed. This book is definitely aimed at women, but could be beneficial for all people, a lot of the advice is universal. ( )

Listened to the audio book. I found the beginning of the book the best with the talk of the stress cycle and the difference between stress and stressors. Then it went off in a direction about body image and BMI. I really started to lose interest at that point. However, I feel this would be a good book for lots of women, it just didn't speak to me. ( )

I read self-help books the way some people read detective novels - just something to relax with when I don't feel like thinking, something to flip a few pages of before bed... If the writing's not that good or it gets repetitive I go ahead & skim it, skip whole chapters, whatever. I don't do the worksheets or anything like that and I definitely don't try to improve myself in any way after reading them.

This isn't a review by the way, it's just me coming out as a person who enjoys the self-help genre as escapist entertainment. I can't be the only one. ( )

Burnout: Secrets to Unlocking the Stress Cycle examines stress from a variety of angles to help give women a clearer view on why they might be struggling with stress and what to do about it. (Spoiler: though your inner voice might be saying it's because you're lazy, dumb, or have bad time management skills, that's probably not the answer.) The authors start the book by looking at the internal, individual factors that lead to burnout. They move into the external factors that affect women's experience of stress with a particular focus on impossible-to-meet social standards, explaining that by recognizing those influences, women will be less likely to internalize them and judge themselves unfairly. They finish the book by emphasizing major strategies (though actionable plans are also discussed throughout the book) to cope with and even flourish in spite of life's challenges.

The book's major strength is the authors' humorous, encouraging voice that can explain scholarly research comfortably. They keep a strong focus on the reader's objective, which is to obtain effective strategies for feeling better. Each chapter ends with a few bullet-pointed major points, which is handy for readers who want to reference a tip later. The comprehensive nature of the advice, which moves from identifying an emotion or behavior, to the science behind it, to research-backed ways to address it and become healthier, makes this book feel different than other books that might talk about how exercise reduces stress without explaining why, or prescribe greater willpower without explaining the influence of sleep on motivation.

In sum, this book was like talking to a very smart, funny sister or best friend who has some great real-world advice and your best interests at heart. It was definitely worth my time.

-Review provided by my wonderful colleague Cara Marco! We received this book as an ARC from Goodreads. ( )

I could have sworn that I reviewed this book -- but since my review vanished, I'll try again. Profoundly helpful, life changing. It really helped me to understand certain dynamics in my life, so that I can identify and change situations. It also equipped me with solutions to how to shed the stress I encounter. I loved the frank, humorous writing style, the useful case studies, the suggestions for how to improve things. Empowering to read and inspiring. Can't recommend it highly enough. ( )

Excellent advice for why stress affects women the way it does and what you can do about it. Based on the scientific evidence, practical skills that anyone can succeed at. ( )

I stopped valuing the opinion of these authors and caring enough to continue reading and pulling out any nougat of new information or advice I could manage to dig out as soon as I got halfway through the book and hit the Bikini Industry Complex chapter. I have no interest in reading anyone complain that the BMI scale is wrong and I'm healthier overweight than underweight and it's all the fault of the patriarchy with no science or facts or reasoning to back it up other than "the patriarchy (UGH)." Which, to be fair, is their excuse verbatim instead of any facts throughout the entire book but I draw the line at encouraging dangerous and unhealthy behaviors. ( )

I’ve finally found a self-help (or “self-care”) book for me! Read my full review here. ( )

This is probably be a yearly re-read for me. Thought-provoking, and some of the pages elicited strong emotions (anger, sadness) but well-worth the time spent. I think it will be interesting to revisit it in several months and see whether I've made any progress. ( )

Good book for growth as working parent and human. ( )

I learned about Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle on the 10 Things To Tell You Podcast episode about anxiety. I listened to this book on audio and while I think their intentions were good, I think listeners are either going to love their narration style, or not....for me, I was somewhere in the middle.

I did think the information they shared was fabulous and the explanation of completing the actual stress cycle was brilliant. Honestly, I had never thought about it in that way before and it makes SO much sense. That section alone made this book super helpful to me and I have been recommending it to so many friends.

They also included some great practical advice about choices we CAN make when we can't always control outside stress in our lives. While it may not have been earth-shattering information, it was a great reminder of the things that we have control over in our own lives. Suggestions like prioritizing sleep, connecting with others, and showing yourself compassion are such powerful and attainable things we can do right away to help our own responses to external stressors.

There is a big emphasis on "the patriarchy" in this book. I found that it was not the most powerful part for me as a reader but it certainly was beneficial in some ways. I think this book would have been strong enough without that section because the stress cycle parts were so hugely beneficial to me. All that said, there certainly is validity in how patriarchy affects women's daily stress.

If you are looking for a book either as a refresher on stress management or if you are feeling like you need some new tools for handling daily stressors, I highly recommend checking this one out.


( )

I couldn't really get into this book, but I appreciate the authors' persistent inclusion of the microaggressions that women face daily due to sexism, size-ism, and racism. ( )

This is an incredible groundbreaking book, for everyone (if the non-women can get past it being written for women). The first two chapters alone are worth the price of the book, just for all the information on how stress and stressors work in our bodies and how to help our bodies heal. Highly recommended. ( )

This is such an amazing book, and I’m glad that I just reread it. I’ve experienced the complete burnout breakdown even after reading this over a year ago. It’s probably going to take multiple times to take in all the information and also try to rewire all my crap. I think this is an important book that every woman needs to read. ( )

Things that were good: the concrete worksheets to help center your focus or help you make decisions could be very useful (especially in paper copy--I read this on ebook so a little more difficult but you could definitely copy them easily by hand!) Obviously also naming power structures is important and something most self-help books are missing.

Things that were rough: though the explanation they give for why the science is so cis-centric is true, there's also no inclusion of trans women's experiences (and really, apart from I think two places, trans people have no place in the book at all.) I think also by focusing only on "patriarchy" as the power structure at play, they minimize a lot of factors at play, speaking broadly instead of specifically. I understand it's supposed to be broad, but I think it falls flat here. (Also a lot of questions about men of color in their formations of power, but I might just be nitpicking at this point.)

So I guess I'd say: totally easy to take the things you need from this if you're a cis woman, and especially a cis white woman. And there is stuff in here for more people--I don't think that the worksheets or tactics won't work for you because you're a trans woman. But definitely another example of "trans inclusive" feminism that doesn't actually do any work to include trans people of any gender beyond rhetorics. ( )

Everyone is burned out these days. Most of us (especially women) are brought up believing that you must be pretty, happy, calm, and generous at all times: Failure is not an option.
This book blows the doors off all that, by uncovering the true elements of and causes of burnout (with help from Star Trek!) and gives the tools and techniques needed to combat burnout.
This book is the much needed and urgent answer to a desperate call from all of us.

This is the book we have all been waiting for. Amazing. ( )

Everyone is burned out these days. Most of us (especially women) are brought up believing that you must be pretty, happy, calm, and generous at all times: Failure is not an option.
This book blows the doors off all that, by uncovering the true elements of and causes of burnout (with help from Star Trek!) and gives the tools and techniques needed to combat burnout.
This book is the much needed and urgent answer to a desperate call from all of us.

This is the book we have all been waiting for. Amazing. ( )

I thought it was a great book. Very good information for someone who was raised to be a "human-giver". I've recommended it to both my daughters and my daughter-in-law. ( )

Disclaimer: I received an ARC from the publisher.

Burnout recognizes the reality of daily life in a way that other self-help books don't, as far as I can tell (it's not really my genre). It's not about "self-care" as it's come to be known, just performing little relaxing rituals that do nothing to address the underlying problems. It's about "completing the cycle", which is something I will pay more attention to doing now, and learning to acknowledge and manage both stress and stressors in a science-based yet compassionate way.

Especially useful is the concept of "Human Beings" vs. "Human Givers". I don't think it's quite as strictly sex-based as they claim, but it is MOSTLY sex-based, so discussing it this way (i.e., addressing women specifically) is fine. Nonetheless, I think my male partner exhibits many of the symptoms of being a Human Giver, too - maybe more than I do, even - and these practices would be just as useful for him. The Nagoskis address the fact that it's not as easy as changing our mindset once, and the problem is solved - the patriarchy (ugh) and the BIC put continuous pressures on us every day. The game is rigged, and knowing that it's rigged (and therefore our struggles are not a result of our own failure to be positive enough) makes a huge difference in how we approach problems.

All this being said, I'm not exactly the Average Woman the science or advice is geared toward - i.e., a mom in a professional career. The book is still helpful, but a lot of the ~relatable~ stories and advice just aren't applicable for me personally. And for some reason, the idea of trying to personify my "madwoman" made me super uncomfortable and I couldn't get a grasp on it at all. Oh, well.

Definitely recommend this read to both women and men. If nothing else, it will articulate your feelings using real research, and offer a few suggestions for working through them. ( )